The Traveling Soldier
by Nobel Grace
Summary: Based in the '60's and on the Song by the Dixie Chicks, Traveling Soilder. Love story about a young girl and a young soldier who share a bond through one letter after the next.
1. Prologue

I remember that summer morning like it was yesterday. I was 16 that summer of '66 and had my whole life in front of me. It was during the Vietnam War and it was constantly crazy. I wasn't really a strong peace activist but I did sing along to the occasional Beatles tune, or attend a rally here or there. The Vietnam war was a big topic of conversation, especially in my family. At dinner time father would come in from work, at the local newspaper house, and talk and talk all about the war and how the men were fighting. One minute he'd say that we were going to win the war in a month. Then as it got closer his story would change( I think for a dramatic effect)he would say that there is a high possibility of us never winning the war. Mother was just as bad. She would come home from her afternoon teas with the ladies from the church committee and talk about who has died or who was injured badly enough to send them home. My poor sister Debbie and I had to sit through every meal talking about the war. That is until I got a summer job and my whole world changed.


	2. The Infamous Job

I woke to the sun shinning in my window and the smell of bacon on the air. My pink room sparkled with sunlight and my lace curtains were blowing gently in the early morning breeze. I knew the breeze wouldn't last. Growing up in Monroe, Virginia the breeze came with the morning and went with lunch time, especially in the middle of July. I kicked off the blankets and rushed to the bathroom so I could quickly change for work. It was my third week working at Susie's Café and I was still trying to make a good impression.

Getting a job had been my idea and both my mother and father didn't like it. Mother said I didn't need a job, I had to focus on my studies and father said, what do you need a job for? I make enough money for all of us! But really the job wasn't for the money or for something to do. It was a way for me to get away from my parents and feel…independent.

After blow drying my black hair I put it up into a ponytail and curled it to make it one big curl. I threw on my work uniform, which consisted of a black poodle skirt and a white blouse and some panty-hose and looked at myself in the mirror. Something was missing. I put on some mascara and a little bit of red lipstick and smiled. Still something was wrong. I grabbed a red scarf from my room and tied it around my neck. I fiddled with it tying and untying it, switching it from one side of my neck to the other before I decided to scrap the scarf all together. I quickly glanced myself over again, turning left then right. I gasped as I realized what I was missing, My BOW! Everyday since I was a baby I wore a bow in my hair. Mom put a bow in my hair, because it was hard for people to distinguish if I was male or female. But as I grew Bows just became more natural.

I grabbed my favorite blue bow and clipped it to my pony-tail. I smiled at myself and nodded for a bit of encouragement before going downstairs for breakfast. Mom was at the stove, humming to herself while making bacon and eggs and Papa was at the table reading the newspaper. Both we're lost in their own worlds and didn't hear me enter the kitchen. I kissed my mother's warm, moist cheek and she jumped slightly.

"Oh, dear. I didn't hear you come in the kitchen." She smiled brightly. Her brown hair was curled and hairsprayed into the perfect position. Her dark brown eyes, ringed with liner and mascara twinkled, matching her yellow dress perfectly.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." I smiled.

"Are you hungry?" She asked and I nodded. "Well I'll get you a plate ready. You're father can drive you to work."

"Huh?" Papa looked up from the paper when he heard his name.

"Morning Papa." I kissed his cheek too before sitting at his right.

"Morning Princess." He smiled and then went back to his paper. At 42 my papa was a high spirited man. He was the chief editor at the newspaper house and he was coach of the boys football team at our highschool. He had pepper coloured hair and a thin, neat black mustache and he always smelt of pipe tobacco. He had a booming voice that caught almost anyones attention and had a very contagious laugh.

"Do you mind driving me to work today, Papa?" I asked, taking a bite out of a piece of toast.

"Not at all. I need to stop by work anyways." He sipped his coffee, never taking his eyes off of the paper.

"We need milk too dear." Mom said as she placed my breakfast in front of me. "Say you're prayers Susanna." I bent my head and said my prayers before I started to eat my breakfast. As I scooped up my eggs, Debbie came into the kitchen. She and I were almost complete replicas. She was 14, and still looked like a baby, but she had the same blue eyes and black curly hair that I did. People said she looked more like Papa where as I looked like Mom, and that was somewhat true to the fact that Susan was loud and laughed a lot like Papa did, and I was somewhat quiet and liked to knit like mom did.

"Mom, Mary wants to go to the shops today." Debbie said, her loose hair flopped on her back as she sat down.

"Debbie, don't sit like that. Sit up straight." Mom said as she handed Debbie her breakfast. "And yes you may go to the shops today." Debbie smiled brightly and filled her mouth with eggs and bacon in a unladylike, but amusing way.

" 'isa dif cho 'nna 'ome?" She said with a mouth full of food.

"Pardon?" I laughed and mom scowled disapprovingly at her. She cringed.

"Ha, sorry mom." She smiled slightly and mom huffed before turning back to the stove. "Did you want to come with us?" She asked me again.

"No, I have to work today." I shrugged.

"Ah! The infamous job!" She said dramatically, and I laughed.

"Sorry. I would have gone with you though."

"No worries sis. We're just going to do the usual scope." She winked a me, letting me know that it wasn't the clothes she was going to the shops for, it was all the young boys about to head off to war today. I rolled my eyes at her.

"You're terrible." I whispered to her and she beamed at me. I glanced at the clock behind her head and it said 9:00. I had to be a work in half an hour! I gulped down the rest of my breakfast and raced up stairs to the bathroom to brush my teeth. I gave my hair one last fix and then bounced back down the stairs, grabbing my white tennis shoes along the way.

Papa was already waiting for me in the car, so I quickly kissed mom and Debbie. I was half-way out the house yelling to mom when I would be off work and that I would call when I was finished. But the day was so nice out that I decided that I would walk home after work, seeing as it wasn't that far away from home.

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I got to work just on time. I clocked in and started my shift off with wiping down tables and arranging them to make the café look more presentable. Our first customer came in a 10 and he was by himself. An older man, who seemed to be a regular yet I still did not know his name. I looked toward my manager Sue and she nodded to me to go and take his order. I inhaled deeply, getting rid of those first order jitters, and went to tend to this man.

"Hello. Can I get you coffee or tea today?" I asked flashing my sweetest smile at him.

"Sure can. I'll take a black coffee with some scrambled eggs, white toast with jam and maybe some pea meal bacon?" He asked with a thick Louisiana accent. He was missing two teeth on the bottom and the remaining ones were yellow/brown. He smelt of stale cigarettes. His worker hat and grease stained hands told me that he worked in the factory. I smiled sweetly again and went to give our cook, Johnny his order.

Before I knew it the place was packed. Lunchtime customers flowed in and out like the current in the ocean. I got a couple of minutes to have a break, let my legs relax and to cool down, but it didn't last long before they needed an extra pair of hands. Eventually the lunchtime rush died down around 1:30 and we got our "late diners". One of those "late diners" was an old beaux of mine, Michael O'Donnel.

Adam was the head of the football team and the ring leader of his group of friends. Where ever Adam went, his cronies went with him. He was tall, had dark brown curly hair and chocolate coloured eyes that gave him the impression that he was mysterious yet charming. That was the most deceptive thing about him and it took me 3 dates to figure it out. He had a head full of air and only talked about two things, football and the war. He talked and talked and talked about the war and how he was going to join, but he never accutally did. To me this made him a coward. All those other boys out there who were fighting, and he was sitting at home, sweet talking all the girls, because the other boys were away getting shot!

Anyways when I saw him come in with his friends I groaned on the inside. I looked around to see if anyone else would serve them, but they were in my section and it was my job to serve people in my section. I plastered a smile on my face and walked up to him.

"Hi." I said and he beamed up at me.

"Hey sugar." He said in what was supposed to be a seductive way, but made me cringe with disgust. His three buddies nudged each other, obviously thinking I wouldn't see them, and gave me a grin I wouldn't want to see anywhere that I was not protected.

"What can I get you?" I asked sweetly looking from one face to the other.

"Sweet tea I guess." Adam sighed.

"Me too." Said one boy and the others replied with the same thing.

"Ok." How original! "4 sweet teas coming right up." I practically ran away from them and went to get their sweet teas. On our third date, Adam had kissed me. It wasn't bad, at first, I enjoy being kissed, but it was his advances afterwards that made me feel uncomfortable around him afterwards. Obviously he told his friends something other than what happened because they were giving me weird smiles and winking at me from across the room. I could feel my cheeks heat up just from the thought of what he would have told them.

I placed the 4 sweet teas on a tray and brought them to the table. I placed them down, one by one, very carefully. I bit my lower lip in concentration and congratulated myself when I managed to not spill one single drop.

"So, Susanna, how's it going?" Dave, one of the boys asked me. He was the smaller one of the three and had red hair with lots of freckles and pale blue eyes that gave me goose bumps.

"Fine thank you." I smiled back.

"I've missed you a lot Suse, since school's been out and all." Adam looked at me with sad puppy dog eyes and I couldn't help myself. I smiled, but not because I was flattered. I smiled because he looked so stupid and so pathetic.

"Is that right?" I managed to say, continuing to smile.

"Wanna go and see a movie this weekend?" He asked and I noticed him quickly glance at his buddies and wink. I was outraged. Here he was asking me on a date, when all he wanted to do was have sex with me and then tell his friends about it. Well it wasn't going to happen. I was a good girl and would always be a good girl, I told myself.

"No thanks." I said simply and smiled just as sweet. He looked at me puzzled and just at that moment the bell rang on the door to the restaurant and my saving grace walked in. "Excuse me a moment." I smirked as I walked away.


	3. The Beautiful Man

"Hey Sis." Debbie said to me and I hugged her quickly. Her best friend Heather stood at her side and she smiled brightly at me. I noticed their bags hanging off their arms and gave Debbie a look of warning.

"Mom's going to freak!" I said and she shrugged.

"Oh well, she'd find something to freak about anyways." Debbie sighed looking around the café. She and my mother had their difficulties, but they were working through it…somewhat. I saw Heather grab Debbie's arm and nod to Adam and his crew. They exchanged girly smiles and then straightened up when they turned back to me.

"So, where can we sit?" Debbie asked me. I looked at the chart of tables and decided on the table farthest away from Adam. Yet it wasn't far enough because as we walked by, Heather, the bright one, waved to one of the boys. Jake, the tall skinny one with a ton of pimples and green eyes like a snake's, called over to them and asked them to sit with them. I started to panic. I didn't want my baby sister to be hanging out with THEM!

"No…" I started to say, but how could I stop them? I was neither their parent nor in charge of where they sat. So when they agreed, grabbing each other's hands with anticipation I brought them over two menus and took their orders.

"Don't worry Suse! I'll keep an eye out for her." Adam said touching my arm ever so gently. It was supposed to make me feel better I bet. I smiled down at him and when I turned to Heather she was glaring at me. This shocked me for a second and I wasn't sure why.

"We don't need anything else Susanna." She snapped, dismissing me. I wasn't the only one who noticed this. Debbie looked at her shocked and pained. Her eyes traveled to mine and her cheeks blushed with embarrassment from her friend.

"Alright then, I'll just get your drinks." I rolled my eyes as I walked away. As I was pouring the drinks the bell to the door rang and someone else walked in. I looked up just as the person sat in an empty booth. His back was towards me, and he had on a green hat. So I figured he was one of the soldiers going off to war.

I carried over the tray and this time, slopped Heather's drink onto the table, making it spill a bit. She gasped as it splashed her shirt a bit.

"Thanks a lot Susanna! This was my favorite top!" She shrieked.

"Oh I'm sorry Heather! Here let me clean it for you."I said with fake sincerity. I grabbed a napkin and started rubbing the pop stain. She shrieked even louder. I noticed it got the attention of almost everyone in the restaurant. "Oh Heather!" My hand went to my mouth, to hide my smile, in what I hoped looked like distress.

"You stupid…ugh!" She glared at me again before going into the bathroom. I watched her walk away. People turned back to their meals and resumed their conversations. I glanced at my manager and she just shrugged and turned away. This was my first "Mistake".

When I turned back to the table, Debbie's hands hid her face and I felt terrible. The boys were looking bored and picking at their fries.

"I'm sorry Debbie." I said to her, not even caring if the boys were listening.

"It's alright sis." She sighed through her hands.

"It's just a shirt anyways." Adam said.

"Yea she just bought…4 new ones." Brad, the fat one with dirty blonde hair that stood our under his cap and his blue eyes twinkled in every light, who was counting the shirts in Heather's bags. Debbie looked up and snatched the bags away from him.

"Brad! Don't do that!" Adam said, picking up on Debbie's distress. "Cool it!" He said to the three laughing friends and they immeadiatly stopped laughing.

"Debbie…" I said and she looked at me, then looked behind me. She perked up for a second, smiled and then looked at me.

"Don't look now…" She said with a grin on her face. "But there is a beautiful man behind you, waiting to be served." She winked, very subtly I might add, and grined even more. Adam and the boys turned and looked at the man and we both groaned. "I said DON'T look." Debbie snapped.

"Well I don't see what the big deal is!" Adam sighed disapprovingly. "He's just some army bum!"

"What makes him an army bum?" I asked.

"Well…it could be that fact that he's dressed already for the army." Adam said laughing and nudging his friends.

"That makes him a bum how?" Debbie asked, eating one of Dave's fries. He didn't even seem to mind, which shocked me somewhat.

"Well…in my opinion. The guys who join the army are bums, who know that they don't stand a chance with the beautiful girls back at home." Both Debbie and I laughed out loud at this.

"Is that right?" I asked.

"You think you stand a chance…with US?" Debbie laughed and all of their faces dropped.

"Maybe with Heather…" I said and then regretted it from the look on Debbie's face. "Besides didn't you go on and on about joining the army just two months ago?" I said changing the subject.

"Yea…well…I decided not too." He shrugged.

"He got declined." Dave said. "He's got some lung disease called…what's it called?" He looked at Brad.

"Cystic Fibrosis." Brad added. Adam looked murderous. I noticed Heather coming back to the table and my manager giving me a look that said I had lingered too long and took this opportunity to leave. I smiled at my sister and went back to the counter.

"Have a nice chat Susanna?"Sue, a big woman in her mid 40's, asked me. She wasn't a mean woman but she didn't take any shenanigans from anybody. She made sure that people called me Susanna instead of Suse and that way we wouldn't get our names mixed up.

"Sorry Sue. It's my sister." I shrugged.

"What did you do to that other girl?" She asked wiping down the counter, not really interested.

"I spilt a bit of her drink on the table and it dripped on to her shirt." I shrugged and leaned on my elbows.

"Well there's a young man at that table over there, who's been waiting almost 10 minutes." She nodded to the one that had come in before I spilt the pop, and the one that Debbie had pointed to.

"He's not in my section." I said.

"He is now." She nudged me forward, dismissing me.

I walked up to the booth and flipped to a new page in my note pad. I smiled brightly and said my ususal "What can I get for you." But when I looked down the most beautiful green eyes were staring back at me. They were striking, taking my breath almost instantly, yet they were sad and there was something else too them.

"I guess I would like a glass of water." He sighed.

"Water? That's it?" I said before I could stop myself. He looked up and laughed slightly before shrugging.

"Have to save all the money I can." He looked miserable and now I felt terrible. I had the sudden urge to cheer him up and the only think I could think of was a coca cola.

"How about I get your something to drink and we pretend that you paid for it." I smiled sweetly scribbling down a drink. He smiled back, a perfect smile with perfect white teeth. They were a little crooked but everyone needs a flaw now and then.

"Thanks. I'll pay for it." He said, but I waved it away and went to get his drink. I was stopped along the way by an older couple who wanted to have more tea and and extra tea biscuit. So I got them their tea and biscuit and brought Debbie her sandwhich. She gave me thumbs up and I smiled back. I stopped smiling when I noticed Dave's hand casually resting on the back of Debbie's seat. I gave him a warning look and his arm dropped suddenly. I turned and finally brought the man his drink.

"Thanks." He said.

"So you signed up?" I felt stupid for asking the obvious question. He nodded, studying the bubbles in his drink. Just then Heather let out the most annoying, high pitch girly laugh you could ever imagine. Everyone looked over at her and she had her hand resting on Adam's arm. She looked at me and gave me a smile filled with venom. Debbie was looking at her curiously, not exactly sure what was wrong with her. She turned to me and shrugged, then looked at the soldier and smiled.

"Your sister I presume?" He asked and I smiled.

"Easy to tell huh?"

"You do have a similar resemblance." He nodded.

"We look almost the exact same." I laughed and he looked puzzled.

"Really? I notice your hair is the same shade and your eyes twinkle the same way when you laugh, but her cheeks are rounder than yours, and more pink and your lips are smaller yet fuller than hers." He looked at me straight in the eyes and I was shocked. "You're eyes are more like the ocean than hers are." I gaped at him, I know I must have looked like a fool, but I didn't know what else to do.

"Uh…you notice that much about everybody?" I managed to ask. He shrugged and studied his cup again. He didn't look at me again, just at the cup.

"Well…if you need anything, just let me know. My name's Susanna." I said casually. He smiled at me and nodded his head, not saying another word. I started to walk away when he slowly grabbed my hand. His hand was warm and rough. It was the hand of a working man, someone who had been working in a factory or a field for a long time. But he didn't look that old. I felt my heart skip at his touch and I looked down at my hand. He let go and that's when I looked into his face.

"Susanna?" he said, testing my name on his tongue. "Susanna, would you mind sitting with me?" He asked me shyly and I was shocked. Someone who looked like him…you would expect them to be overly confident like Adam was. But maybe it was his humbleness that made him so attractive. I smiled down at him.

"Well I cant right now…" I said looking for Sue and noticing that she was giving me that look again. Today was not a good day. He looked disappointed. "But listen I'm off in an hour. And I know somewhere that we can go."


	4. The Letters

Debbie left half an hour before my shift ended. She was going to hang around but I told her that I was staying on an extra 20 minutes and she didn't want to sit in the café by herself and wait for me. I didn't blame her. I wouldn't want to wait either. When it was time for me to go home I went into the back room and fixed my ponytail and bow.

I walked out and put the 50 cents into the till for the soldiers drink and then went to meet him. He looked up in a daze and then smiled. He grabbed his duffle bag and slung it over his shoulder as we walked out of the café. He didn't say a word as we walked, he just followed in a gloomy silence. So I started to think about things that we could talk about. I asked him if he liked to play sports and he said "Soccer". I asked him if he was still in school and he said… "No." So I gave up trying. Here I was giving up my free time to a complete stranger.

By the time we got the pier I was a bit miffed. I looked around and noticed that people were playing with their kids in the water, or couples were having picnics, or playing anti-war music on their guitars. I listened to the sound of the ocean and the sea birds and completely relaxed. Even though we were walking, I shut my eyes for a brief moment and just listened to the sounds. I could hear a ship in the distance and the wind in the air. Then my hand went warm. I opened my eyes and noticed that my new friend had grabbed my hand, like it was normal. But the strange thing about it was that it felt normal.

He looked back at me, to see if I was ok with him holding my hand and I smiled brightly. I didn't mind, although if my mother saw she would complain for ages. We walked silently watching all the people around us. A little boy ran up to me and gave me a white daisy that he had picked. He had been giving them to everyone, but he was just so cute that you immeadiatly smiled down at him.

"I always wanted kids." He said. I jumped at the sound of his voice and he smiled slightly.

"Me too. Not too soon of course but in the future for sure." I looked down at the ground, blushing for some unknown reason. But of course it did not go unseen.

"Do you blush all the time?" He smiled at me and for the first time I noticed the slight Spanish accent on his tongue. I could feel my cheeks heat up even more and was afraid to look up at him. I felt him playfully nudge me and I knew then that he was teasing.

"It's a curse of the Irish." I said, smiling to myself.

"Well…I wouldn't call it a curse. You know men in the 1500's thought blushing women were the most beautiful and it made them feel more superior and…"

"Manly?" I laughed and he nodded. We fell back into silence, not an awkward silence but a peaceful one.

I found a spot under a tree that we could sit. The tree was old and big so we were completely shaded from the sun. And it looked out over the water too. He sat down beside me, still holding my hand and leaned against the tree. He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. I took this opportunity to study his face.

He had smooth, bronze coloured skin that made me want to reach over and touch it. His hair was no longer hidden under the cap and it was short and black, ready for the war. On his right eyebrow there was a scar through it. Not very noticeable but when you were studying someone's face it was. His lips were what caught my attention the most, apart from his eyes. They were perfect. They were the Perfect length, size and the fullest lips. I saw a smile playing at the corner of his lips and looked at him quizzically.

"Is there something on my face?" He asked, without opening his eyes. I looked away as he said this, obviously embarrassed.

"No…I was just…looking." Stupid! What a stupid answer. He chuckled at this.

"What do you think?" He said lifting my chin to look at him. He green eyes bore into my soul, pretty much.

"Honestly… You know I don't even know your name." I laughed.

"It's Jesse." He smiled.

"Honestly Jesse…I think one of your eyes is bigger than the other, and your nose is too small for your face." He looked at me shocked, maybe even hurt, but I couldn't leave the smile off my face for very long and eventually I gave in and smiled. He caught on that I was joking and said, "Oh well, I give you nice compliments about yours and you give me negative ones. I see." I laughed louder this time and he was laughed too.

"I was only joking." I smiled, leaning against him more. He raised his arm and I rested against his chest. He sighed and I could feel his heart beating against my back. Suddenly I felt weird. I would probably never see this guy again. I had only met him today and yet it felt like we had known each other all of our lives. I was sad. "Are you leaving today?" I whispered.

"Yes." He sighed. I nodded my head against him. "The bus leaves at 7." He said glumly.

"Who are you leaving behind?" I asked cautiously.

"My mother and father."

"That's it?" I looked up into his face and he looked sadly down at mine. He nodded slightly and I rested deeper into the crook of his green army shirt.

"Listen, Susanna." He sat up straighter, so naturally I had to sit up too. I turned at looked at him directly in the face. He looked so serious. "I…I know you must have a boyfriend, but I don't care. I've got no one to send a letter too. And I was wondering…if you'd mind if I sent one back here to you."

"I don't have a boyfriend." I said and he studied my face. I felt like crying. Here was this poor guy from god knows where, probably joined up for the money, and he was asking to write letters to me. "Of course you can write letters to me." I smiled brightly. "Who knows I might even write one back." I teased and he smiled again.

"Thank you." He reached up and touched my cheek.

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We talked under the tree for about an hour. He told me he was from Maryland and that he worked on his father's farm his whole life. He was an only child now, his baby sister died when she was 4, and his parents were older. Like I had suspected, their farm was not doing so well and he had joined the army so that they could manage the farm a little better than they had been. He talked about his plans on what he would change about the farm when he got back home.

We talked about my family, which sounded so different from his. We were from two completely different worlds. Here he had to work and fight for money and I was working for fun. He had to struggle to pay for school and I got in without any problems. His family went out for dinner once a year and that was on his birthday. We went out for dinner every Saturday night, which had been a family thing since my parents got married.

It got closer to 4 and I realized my mother would be concerned about me. I jumped up in a panic. He looked at me worried.

"I have to call my mom. She'll be in a right state." I looked around for somewhere to call and noticed a little corner shop. "Come on." I grabbed his hand and started running for the store. I don't know why I ran, but I felt the need to feel the wind on my face and the race of my heart beat.

We entered the store laughing and out of breath and I looked around. There was a pay phone in the corner. I reached into my purse for 10 cents and put it into the phone and dialed home. It rang three times before someone picked up.

"Hello?" Mom said.

"Hi mom, it's Susanna." I cringed waiting for her to freak and was equally shocked when she didn't.

"Oh hi dear. Are you don't work now?"

"Um…yes. But I'm just going to go out for dinner with a friend ok?" I said looking at Jesse who was browsing through the magazines.

"Ok dear. Just be home by 8." We said our good byes and hung up. I went to Jesse and noticed that he was reading a new addition of Life Magazine. My mother loved reading those magazines. She got one every time a new edition came out. So I chuckled when I saw it.

"You like reading those?" I smiled brightly and he turned to me. He smiled, but his eyes were sad.

"My mother loves these." He said.

"What mother doesn't?" I laughed and he nodded thoughtfully.

"She has two copies and she reads them over and over." My smile dropped. Now I saw why he looked so sad. This must be the worst day of his life so far. He sighed as he put the magazine back and then grabbed my hand.

"I'm starving." He smiled and lead me out of the shop.


	5. Di's Diner

Jesse and I ended up at Di's Drive In. It was a common place that we teenagers liked to go to after a movie on a Friday night, for a quick burger and shake. Di's had the best burgers and chocolate milk shakes and I said this to Jesse as we walked in. There were little red booths every where with a checkered dance floor and a jukebox that was playing quietly in the corner. We picked on closer to the music and waited for our waitress to bring us menus.

I looked around the place and noticed a couple of the kids from school. My best friend Gina was sitting across the room. She had red curly hair that she wore in two pig-tails, each matched with pink bows. She had bright blue eyes that, in sunlight, looked purple. She and I had been friends since we were younger and had remained friends. She was at Di's with her beau, Andy, who was madly in love with her. He was tall, blonde and blue eyed. He was a little bit older than us, about 24, but he had one over her mother and father. We were constantly talking about when he was going to propose to her.

She glanced over and waved at me, and then raised her eyebrows at Jesse, with a devious smile. I waved back and Jesse noticed, looked over his shoulder and turned back smiling. I saw her say something to Andy and he passed her something. She smiled at him again and got up, heading in our direction. Knowing Gina, she was pretending to put money in the jukebox find out who I was with.

"Hey Susie." She smiled at me. Then she turned to Jesse. "Hi, I'm Gina."

"She's my closest friend." I explained.

"Jesse De Silva." He said sticking his hand out to her. She smiled brightly as she shook his hand.

"So…How do you know each other?" She looked at me.

"Uh…we met at the café."

"Oh…" She smiled at Jesse but I could see the shock and scandal hidden behind her eyes. I smiled down to my lap.

"You leaving today, Soldier?" She asked.

"Yep." He sighed.

"Well…you just take good care of her. Don't be…disrespecting her." She said with a motherly tone. I gaped at her and she shrugged before she walked away. Jesse smiled after her.

"I like her. She's a nice girl." He said with amusement in his voice.

"She certainly is." I shook my head with disbelief. "You should meet my sister. She's even worse." I said laughing.

"Maybe another time." He said. My smile dropped.

"Oh right." The waitress came over and took our orders. Two chocolate shakes with two orders of burgers and fries.

"So when do you think you're going to come back?" I asked.

"Well…the "plan" is that we go to California for training. That's for a month. Then we get a two week break. We get shipped out after that." His smile dropped. "So when I come back I can meet your sister." He smiled weakly.

"Sure." I smiled. "I'll be here." He looked into my eyes and studied them with all seriousness. The waitress brought over our milkshakes and burgers, breaking our eye contact. I thanked her and she left.

"So, what are your plans for the future?" He asked me.

"Well…I want to go to university, but I probable wont. You know how things are…" I looked at him and he nodded thoughtfully, which he seems to do a lot.

"So you think you'll get married before you get the chance?" he glanced up at me through his eyelashes and I nodded slightly. I realized that he could think that I meant married to him so I quickly tried to recover.

"You know with the war and everything. People are getting married really quickly." I groaned as I realized that sounded just as bad. "I mean…I don't mean that I would be married to you." His head shot up and he looked at me. A smile was at the corner of his mouth but he never fully smiled. "Well what I mean is…" I had no idea what I meant any more. "I-uh-"

"It's ok." He reached over and grabbed my hand. "I know what you meant." I exhaled to the best of my ability, due to my racing heart. We ate in silence, not really needing to say anything. I noticed that Gina kept glancing over. She was smiling brightly at me, and Andy occasionally looked back too. Apparently I was ruining their date.

We finished our food and sat back. I watched him study the jukebox with a strange fascination. A smile broke out on his face. He looked at me for a second and then grabbed my hand.

"Come on!" He said pulling me, gently, out of the booth.

"Where are we going?" I felt my face heat.

"We're going to dance." He said. He brought me to the jukebox and put a quarter into the box. I looked back a Gina and she looked at me puzzled. I shrugged my shoulders and she turned back to Andy. He finally picked the song and when I heard it I laughed. It fit perfectly to our little adventure today. As "I've Just Seen A Face" , by the Beatles, started playing he lead me into the middle of the dance floor. The words started and he pulled me closer and we started dancing.

He wasn't a bad dancer at all. He was light on his feet and quick and knew how to dance. He spun me in circles really quickly. I don't think I laughed so much in my life. We danced and danced. I noticed that Gina and Andy had joined us along with a few other couples. It was a lot of fun. He was good at almost every dance. He mastered the jive and was good a swing dancing. He wasn't too good with the twist, but I was funny to see him try. Imagine this tall, dark haired Spanish guy attempting to do the twist. I laughed so hard that my sides hurt. He eventually gave up and pulled me close to him again.

A slow song came on called "My Eyes Adored You" by the Four Seasons and we danced smooth and steady to it. I rested my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes, just listening to the music. As we danced I thought about what Jesse had ahead of him. He would have to fight for his life every day, sleep in mud, and goes days without being clean. I felt tears well up in my eyes for this boy's hard days in front of him. I felt him kiss my head and I quickly pushed my tears away. I didn't need him seeing me crying.

He sighed deeply and looked down at me. "I have to go now." He said. My heart broke a bit.

"Now?"

"Unfortunately yes. My bus leaves at 7." He said.

"Well I'll come with you then." I said reaching over to grab my purse. The sun was just starting to set and it gave the diner a golden touch.

"No" he said. I looked at him and he looked sad.

"What?"

"I cant…I don't think it would be…"He looked into my eyes.

"I'm going with you." I said more sternly this time. "Whether you like it or not." He nodded his head and I threw down $20 to pay for our meal.

"At least let me pay!" He said.

"You can pay for my dinner when you get back." I said cheerfully, although I didn't feel it. "And make sure you have enough because it will be very expensive." I smiled over my shoulder and he chuckled.

"Ok."

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We got to the bus station 10 minutes before 7. There were about 40 soldiers waiting to catch the bus. They were surrounded by loved ones; mothers, fathers, siblings, lovers. Women were crying and men were quiet. It was depressing. After Jesse checked in with the driver, we stood together waiting. We watched everyone around us and he grabbed my hand.

"Its sad isn't it?" He said with a heavier accent. Apparently it got heavier as he became more upset.

"It is." I agreed. "But you're only going for training."

"I think it's the fact that we'll be in the middle of a war zone in less than 2 months."

"Oh…" I dropped my head. "You are going to write to me aren't you?" I said turning towards him.

"I will write to you every day." He said gently rubbing my cheek with his thumb. We had exchanged information at dinner time so I knew he had it. I had put it in his front pocket myself. I felt so overcome by emotion that my eyes welled up with tears. I buried my face into his chest and to stop myself from crying. Jesse was shocked at my reaction, but he quickly wrapped his arms around me and held me tightly to his chest.

"Sh…." Was all he managed say. The emotions in this place were like a million bricks weighing down on you. I turned my head on his chest and looked around. The bus had started boarding. I didn't want to let go, but I knew that I must. I let my arms drop and smiled at him.

"Good luck." I said cheerfully and he smiled back. He held me at arms length, studying my face for the last time. He bent forward and kissed my cheek.

"Thanks." He said before turning away from me. I felt like something was wrong. I was forgetting to do something and I was starting to panic. On impulse I grabbed his arm and he turned back. As he did I reached up and kissed him. He was shocked at first, but then he dropped his bag and brought his hands up to my face. His soft lips were like heaven on mine and I felt at peace. I had completely forgotten that people might be watching, until we heard the last call whistle. He pulled away, running a thumb over my cheek again and smiled.

"Be back in a month." He said and I smiled.

"Write to me before then." I said and he got on the bus. I backed away so I could see him properly and he managed to get a seat at the window. He looked nervous and scared, but I knew he would be fine. I waved to him and he smiled back, never once looking away from me. The bus started and my heart sank. I told myself not to cry. I waved, along with the others, as the bus pulled away and as it disappeared into sight then I let myself cry.


	6. Suspicions

A week passed and I didn't get a letter. I mean it was to be expected. He was just arriving and he was busy, so I didn't expect a letter for the first three days. But when the Tuesday morning came, almost a week after Jesse and I had met, I started asking if I had got anything in the mail. I remember mom giving me a funny look and papa laughing at the thought of me getting mail. Debbie just shook her head, smiling smugly to herself.

"Why would you get anything in the mail dear?" Mom asked and I blanked.

"Did you apply for a contest or something?" Papa asked. Debbie exchanged glances with me and she smiled.

"No I was just curious. I never get anything in the mail." I said turning back to my knitting needles.

"Be grateful that you don't get anything in the mail. Because all we get is bad news."

"Bad news Papa, really!" Debbie rolled her eyes.

"Yes, I consider bills bad news!" He smiled at her. I sighed and rested back in my chair. I had done pretty well the whole week trying not to think about him, but as the week came to an end I started to think of how much a fool I was. How could I actually kiss a complete stranger. I had told Gina and she had scolded me. Gina was one of those girls who was heavily influenced by their mothers. She was still stuck in the old ages, and thought that kissing was something that you only did when you really cared for the person. I told her I had really cared for Jesse but she told me not to be ridiculous. After all I had only just met him.

She had told me to be careful because "soldiers only have two things on their mind Susie…Survival and Sex!" I remember being so shocked at her that I accutally laughed. If there was one thing we didn't talk about it was sex and hearing her say that word made us both uncomfortable. Now Debbie was quite fine talking about sex with me, because that's all that Heather pretty much talked about. Heather was a blonde tart and couldn't keep a beau for longer than a month.

Debbie was the one who a told me that it would take a while for me to get his first letter, because he had to settle in and then had to write it and send it, then it would take about 2 days to get here. She was the one who gave me confidence that he would write to me. So I continued on in my normal routein; working every other day in the mornings, never at night, and going to see movies with my friends.

Thursday afternoon it was pouring rain. I was planning on walking home after work but I hadn't brought an umbrella with me or my rain coat. I quickly called papa to come and pick me up. But knowing papa he would take about 15 minutes to get here, if he left right now, which he normally never did. Papa liked to let people wait for them. So I'd be waiting at work for about 20 to 30 minutes for him to get here. I looked around for things to do and noticed that everyone was busy, so I went and stood outside.

Once I was outside I became really bored and I felt funny, standing a lone waiting for Papa to get there. I looked across the street and noticed Benny's Corner store. I looked back and forth across the street, to make sure no cars were coming, and then I raced across the street as fast as I could, to avoid getting wet.

I entered the store damp and flustered and looked around. I went to the cold fridges that were brand new and took out a glass bottle of coca cola and went to the magazine section. I looked at all the teen magazines, some had pictures of the Beatles others pictures of the Beach Boys. There were fashion magazines with a model named Twiggy on the cover. They called her "The Face of '66". I skipped over the fashion magazine when the Life magazine caught my eye. I picked it up and laughed. I decided to buy it, just for the sake of buying it.

I raced back across the street and into the café. I sat at a window table, so that I could see when Papa got there. I opened my bottle of coca cola and opened the magazine to the first page. It was all about Elizabeth Taylor and her latest relationship. You would think it would be about the war or something else, but during a time of crisis people turned to things that made them happy. I flipped through the magazine quickly, noticing a couple of promising articles on the war and President John F. Kennedy. I decided to read the Taylor article and was so lost in it by the time Papa came to pick me up.

He honked the horn at me and I jumped. I waved to Sue and the others and headed out to the car. I raced through the rain and slammed the door to the white station wagon after I got in.

"Thanks for picking me up Papa." I smiled and kissed him on the cheek.

"Your welcome Princess." He said, but something was different about him. He looked upset. I stared at him for a moment.

"Is there something wrong Papa?" I asked.

"No. Everything's…fine." He said, focusing on the road.

"Are you positive?" I asked, pushing my luck. Normally I got in trouble for questioning my parents because it wasn't my place, but I was just so curious that I tended to forget my place. He sighed with a bit agitation.

"Your mother has something for you at home." I perked up.

"What is it?" I asked thinking that she had bought me that new dress. Maybe that's why Papa was so upset, because the dress was a little bit pricey.

"You'll see when we get there." He said. His brows were practically one when he pushed them together in frustration. But I knew he wasn't going to tell me anymore so I stopped asking and looked out the window. Everything passed by as I thought about my new dress waiting for me at home. It was pink checkered colour and I had the perfect bow to match it. I would wear it on Friday when Gina and I went out to the movies with some of the other girls.

We pulled into the driveway and I couldn't get out of the car fast enough. I raced up to the house and threw open the door. It was quiet in the house and I saw no traces of new things. I kicked off my shoes and put them in the cupboard. I headed past the sparkling clean living room and into the kitchen. The living room should have been the first time that there was trouble because mom only went crazy cleaning when something bothered her. But it was when I saw mother sitting at the table, her hands folded in front of her and a white envelope on the table that I knew.

I was excited, yet scared. I knew that Jesse had finally written but I knew I would be in trouble because I really didn't know that much about him and we had only just met. He hadn't even met my parents yet. Mom's mouth was in a tight line and she looked furious, yet worried. I looked at her frozen, not sure what to do. When Papa came into the kitchen he sighed and told me to have a seat. I sat directly opposite to my mother and Papa stood behind her looking out the window.

"Is this what you were expecting in the mail Susanna?" My mother asked.

"Yes." I whispered. Mom sunk a bit.

"Who is it from?" She asked.

"A friend."

"The same friend you were with last week?" She asked me. I knew that I was in major trouble. I hadn't realized that she thought my friend was a girl friend instead of a boy. I guess some part of me knew that she would be upset when she found out, but another part of me knew that I could handle it and that's why I chose to withhold the information from her.

"Yes it is." I answered calmly.

"And this person is in the army, so clearly this FRIEND is a boy. Am I correct?" Her voice was like ice. She was acting like I had just murdered someone or stolen money from her wallet.

"Yes, you are correct." Mom gasped and I saw father's shoulders tense. I panicked.

"How could you?" She said. "We trust you to act like a lady, to act like an adult and here you are…"

"I don't see what is so wrong with a boy writing to me." I defended.

"It's the fact that you didn't tell us about him." She nagged.

"I'm sorry mother, but I had just met-I mean we were just going out for dinner before he had to leave. That's all. All we did was eat a burger and have a milkshake."

"Do not speak to me that way missy! I have a right to be concerned."

"Mother! I didn't do anything wrong. Nothing happened. I told you I was going out for dinner and I wasn't lying." I shrieked standing up. "If it had been Adam I wouldn't be in this much trouble right now."

"Your not in trouble Susanna now sit down." Papa said calmly.

"Well I sure as hell feel like it." As the word slipped through my lips I regretted it. Mom's face went pale and she looked like she was going to faint. "I'm sorry. It slipped." I slinked back into the chair. Mom didn't say anything.

"You're not in trouble Susanna. We are just worried. We don't know this boy and as parents we have the right to know who you are talking to." I nodded because I completely understood this logic. "Are you dating this boy?" He asked.

"No." I said. I mean we had gone on a date, but he was in California now and it would be a little but difficult for us to go on a date.

"Do you know anything about him?" Mom said. Of course she knew that he wasn't from around here. She knew every young gentleman who lived in our small town of Monroe.

"Yes I do." I answered starting to get a bit more annoyed.

"Tell me about him."

"What would you like to know?" I crossed my arms over my chest and looked at her.

"Do NOT speak to me that way!" She said louder this time.

"Well I don't see what its going to accomplish by telling you everything about him mom. You will meet him soon. He gets to come back for two weeks before he's shipped off." She looked at me, studying every line in my face. Her face was full of disbelief.

"We'll see." She said smugly. It would make her feel better to know that Jesse would not come back, or at least that's how it seemed to me. I looked across the table at her and she stared right back.

"You can go and read your letter Susanna." Papa said and Mom's face blanked. She looked at him questioning his intentions and he just stared back. I took the letter carefully from mom and headed to my room. As soon as I was out of sight I heard Papa say, "Maureen its just a letter."


	7. The Unpleasant Discovery

**A/N: Just letting it be known that I had a lot of trouble writing this chapter. I don't know how many times I complained about it! I hated it, partly because I didn't think the letter was good enough…and even though I still don't think its good enough I'm publishing this chapter the way it is. Can't dwell on spilled milk…So if you have any comments for the next letter let me know. Thanks  
-Pen**

I passed Debbie's room staring at the envelope in somewhat of a whirl. I only knew that I passed her room because I heard her laugh and then the bed creak.

"I'm guessing you got a letter?" She peeked her head out the door. I looked at her and nodded my head, smiling brightly. She grinned back and rolled her eyes. "Don't fall too hard now." She said sarcastically as she went back into her room and shut the door.

Once in my room, with the door shut behind me, I flopped down on my bed and looked at the envelope. My name and address was written in a neat script. I was so shocked at receiving the letter. Even though I knew he promised that he would send one, I honestly didn't think he would. I opened the envelope carefully, my hands were shaking ridiculously, and took out the paper on the inside. There were two pages, neatly folded in half, so I put a pillow under my chest and got comfortable.

_Susanna,_

_I am sorry that this letter will take so long to get to you. We got here a day later then scheduled because our bus broke down .Then when we arrived we were immediately shown where we needed to be and where we were to sleep. Then we were put into mandatory training session to make up for the day that we missed. I have never felt this fatigued in my entire life and I work on a farm. But Maj. Dom said that it is good for us and will teach us the proper ways to live out a war. There is this boy, Paul, and he is my "bunk buddie" or so he calls it. He sleeps on the bunk below me and says the funniest things, which that I now think of should not be told again. You'll like him when you meet him, for he is from New York and will be catching the same bus._

_I am going to be honest with you, Susanna, I am terrified. We were trained yesterday on proper procedures when you are being attacked. They actually opened fire, not directly at us, but into the sky. We were terrified and Maj. Dom said, "Get used to it men! This is what you will here every 5 minutes for weeks on end." One guy almost cried, that's how scared we all were. Paul laughed but I knew…he was scared too. Three days in and I am terribly regretting ever joining up for the war, no matter how much money we are going to get._

_I miss you already. I know it's not appropriate for me to say this because we just met, but I do. That day that on the pier completely changed me. I hope that you feel this way too, because I would like to continue to hear from you and to maybe visit you when I am off duty. They are talking about delaying our "two week vacation" a little bit longer because they don't believe that we will be ready for Vietnam, but I couldn't see it truly happening. Please let me come and visit you when I am free. I'll be thinking of you._

_Jesse._

I read the letter again and again. It wasn't that I loved the letter I just wanted to make sure I didn't miss anything before I sent one back. I looked at the return address and went to the table to start my letter. I got out a piece of paper and started writing.

_Jesse_

But I didn't know what to say. All of my weekly events seemed so trivial to his army training. What could I talk about? How I worked all week and then went to see a movie and laughed till I cried? I don't think that would make him feel any better about how he's there and I here. I read over the letter again just one more time and decided where I would start first.

_Dear Jesse,_

_I was so happy to receive your letter. I had checked the mailbox almost everyday until my sister, Debbie, talked some sense into me. I am glad to hear that you are…making friends. I wouldn't want you to have only poor little me as you one true companion. _

_I went into a corner store today and bought a Life magazine. The first one I have ever bought! I've never been one for the gossip and lies that they tell about the celebrities, but I thought that it would be…interesting to read one and see what their really like. I think my mother is going to go crazy, she'll be so proud of me. Finally I'm becoming more of a woman than a child, she'll say. _

_I assure you that you will be fine in this war, I just know it. You'll pull through because you are a fighter. How I know this…I don't know, but I just have a feeling that you are going to be ok. I think about you often and I am looking forward to your visit in the fall. Hope to hear from you soon._

_Love Susanna._

As I realized I had written Love I panicked. Maybe he wouldn't be ok with that? Maybe it was too soon to write that? But I signed almost any note like that, so I shouldn't be too concerned. I looked at the note and just as I was starting to regret writing it, I folded it and sealed it in an envelope, writing his information on it. I picked it up and went to mail it before I could tell myself not too. I knew it would sound like a stupid letter when I was lying in bed thinking about it, but I decided that it was better to fret over it later than right now.

I put on my coat and sneakers and headed out the door. The post office was just down the street and I had 3 stamps left from when my sister had gone to stay with my aunt in Canada last summer. I raced down the street as fast as I could, trying to avoid getting as wet as possible. I raced into the post office and almost ran into Mrs. Anderson, Adam's mother.

"Oh, hello Susanna! Why are you in such a rush?" She asked looking at me from head to toe.

"I…um was just trying to get out of the rain." I smiled sweetly and she smiled back. She was a short woman, about 5 ft 1 to be exact, so you naturally looked down at her. But you never ever felt better than her because the way she spoke and the looks she could give told you that she was your superior. Her dark blue eyes were lined with black eyeliner, along the top of the eye and a ton of mascara, making her lashes long and "fluttery". She wore bright red lipstick and was constantly applying it to her mouth. She had dyed blonde hair that was short and framed her face in neat curls. She, like many mothers, went to bed with pink curlers in her hair and this gave off the perfect curl. I knew this because they sold pink curlers at Angie's Beauty Shop in town and a ton of the older women had gone crazy buying them, my mother being one of those women. Helen Anderson was one of those moms that every other girl wanted to look like when they were 45.

"Oh yes. Don't want to catch a cold and get sick before the Summer Formal next week." I blanked. I had completely forgotten about the formal, being so preoccupied with work and the letters. I needed to get a new dress and new accessories for the formal.

"I had completely forgotten about it." I shrugged.

"You forgot?" She looked at me horrorstruck. "But you are going with Adam, aren't you?"

"I…uh…" Now it was my turn to look at her horrorstruck. I hadn't planned on going with Adam at all. I was just going to go with Debbie like I normally did.

"At least that's what he told me." She looked at her silk gloves that she held in her hands.

"When did he tell you?"

"Just this morning. You see I'm on the committee and I was talking about all the plans that we had for the dance. And he said you two were going together." She smiled sweetly. There was no way I could break her chipper mood and tell her that we weren't going together. "I mean, after all you two do go nicely together." She smiled even brighter, making it absolutely clear what she was really trying to say. I could pretty much feel the colour leave my cheeks at the idea of me…and Adam…married. I couldn't speak, so I just nodded.

"So what does your dress look like?" She asked, looking me up and down, envisioning a dress that would suit my curvy body.

"I…um…I have found one yet." She was horrified. Twice in five minutes she had looked at me like I had murdered her precious son.

"Well…that's unfortunate. You know there's only 6 days left. Better find a dress."

"Debbie and I are accutally going to look for dresses today." I lied.

"Don't look for dresses dear, buy dresses. You'll never get a dress if you're only looking for one." She said turning away from me and heading towards the door. Just before she got there she turned back to me. "I'll make sure to tell Adam to pick you up on Monday. How does 7 sound?" She smiled at me and I caved.

"Sounds good." I said with fake enthusiasm. She smiled brightly, waved and left the post office. I shuddered as I thought about the upcoming dance and how horrific it was going to be.


	8. The Perfect Dress

Once back at the house I truly let out a groan and it was a little louder than I meant for it to be. Papa peeked his head out of the kitchen and looked at me quizzically.

"What's wrong Princess?"

"Oh nothing. I just forgot about the formal." I said hanging my coat on the coat rack.

"You need a new dress then?" He said with his left eye brow arched, which he always did when he knew he was going to be handing over money to one of us. Dresses to him were a complete waste of money, especially if you had "perfectly fine dresses upstairs". But honestly, you cant go to a Formal in an old dress that you wore to the last one. I sat down in the chair and rested my head on my arms.

"Sit up straight Susanna!" Mom said as she entered the kitchen. "I don't know how many times I have to tell you." She obviously hadn't gotten over the whole letter thing.

"Sorry." I grumbled sitting up straighter.

"Maureen, the girls need new dresses for the Formal." Papa said to mom.

"I think Debbie already has hers." I looked at her shocked.

"When did she get it?" I asked, somewhat upset.

"She went with Heather last week. She said she stopped in at the cafe. I guess I just assumed she had shown it to you." She frowned. I rolled my eyes and my unfortunate luck. Maybe Debbie would still go with me anyways.

"Well I still need to get a dress." I sighed.

"If you get your coat on I'll take you right now." Mom said. I looked at her somewhat shocked and she just stared right back. I nodded and raced up to my room to grab my handbag and some of the spending money I had taken from my paycheck. I raced downstairs and mom was waiting at the door for me.

"Have fun." Papa said, kissing me on the head, and looking just a tad uncomfortable. I looked at mom and she was still frowning. This was not going to be a fun shopping trip.

We climbed into the car and started off into town. The trip was about 20 minutes, but it was the longest 20 minutes of my life. Mom hated listening to music in the car because it distracted her. Mom wasn't a good driver so it was probably for the best anyways. But when she's mad at you, she never speaks and you can pretty much hear her anger; it radiates from her body.

We got to a strip of store, by the ocean and found a parking spot rather quickly. We jumped out, and through the pouring rain, ran into Victoria's Boutique. Victoria's had so many dresses that it had two levels just to hold them all. The bottom level was the cheaper dresses and the top level was for more expensive styles. I started to look through the cheaper dresses, but mom headed straight upstairs. I followed her uncertainly up the stairs and looked around. The lower level was a clean white colour, with sharp white couches and simple curtain change rooms. But the upper level was like a completely different shop. It was a bright pink colour with white carpeting and dark red couches and drapes. You had to take you shoes off, for fear of ruining the carpet and when you stepped on the fuzzy carpet it was like walking on a cloud it was so soft.

I was uncertain of where to go, but mom headed straight to the back of the store. I followed her and watched as she started flipping through the dresses. She caught on to me standing behind her and frowned deeper.

"You know we are here to get you a dress. Are you going to look for a dress or are you just going to watch me look for a dress?" She somewhat snapped. I flinched and then headed off to look for a dress. I was fuming at her while trying to look for a dress and I ended up in the somewhat provocative dress section. I laughed as I pulled out a red dress that was just above the knee, but clung to the body, very tightly. Mom would have a fainting spell if I got this dress. It would be the scandal of the century.

"Look at the…What is that?" Mom popped out from no where and saw the dress that I was holding. I blushed and panicked.

"I was just looking."

"Your not getting that Susanna!" Her face was set in hard lines.

"I know mother! I was just looking." She huffed at my snappy tone and shockingly brushed it off.

"Well I found a dress for you. When you've done with…that thing…you might want to come and try it on." She dashed away without another word. I sighed as I put the scandalous dress away and went after her. She was standing in front of a solid wood door and was tapping her foot, which was a sure sign of impatience.

"The dress is in there." She said and nodded to the door. She went and sat on a red couch, with her ankles crossed and her hands in her lap. I groaned at the heavy tension in the air.

I opened the door and looked around the tiny room. It had a tiny little table in the back right corner and the room had golden yellow wallpaper and dark wood floors. The dress hung on a hanger at the back of the change room. I looked it over and was immediately in love with it.

It was a light pink colour, with short lacy sleeves and a pink satin sash and bow around the waist. The neck showed just enough of my collar bone and it hung on the edges of my shoulders. The skirt had a dramatic overskirt with the soft light pink chiffon on top and dark pink lace underneath. The dress came to just below my knees to show off my thin caves. The dress was wonderfully perfect for a waltz.

I opened the door and peeked out. Mom was staring at her hands and her brows were together. I propped the door open more and it squeaked loudly. Mom looked up and I stepped out of the tiny room. She looked the dress over and just stared. Then she smiled brightly and stood up.  
"I knew it would be perfect!" She beamed. I couldn't help but smile back. Everything completely forgotten all over a new dress. "Come and see. It's perfect." She said.

"It feels perfect." I said as she led me to the wall mirror. When I saw myself in the dress I got a rush of pride and joy. It was amazing. I had never seen myself look so…beautiful and it was just because of the dress. I twirled and as I had predicted, the dress puffed out in a perfect circle, which would match the waltz gracefully and elegantly.

"Oh Susanna. It's lovely." She said fiddling with the back of the dress.

"Yes, Adam will surely love it." I sighed and Mom's head shot up. She looked at me curiously.

"Adam? You're going to the dance with Adam?" She asked.

"According to Mrs. Anderson, yes we are. He told his mother that we were going to the dance together. Without even telling me." Mom thought about this for a moment and then she got a frown over her brows.

"What cheek! What makes him think he has the right of telling you what to do?" She said fiercly.

"I don't know mom." I sighed.

"Well you shouldn't take that." She said brushing my black hair behind my shoulders. "If only that army boy was here." I practically choked. I stared at her in the mirror and she studied my hair, pretending not to notice that she had just said that. I turned and looked at her.

"What…what did you say?" I asked.

"Oh Susanna. I know I was short tempered with you today about the letter, but the truth is was that I was worried. With the war on more girls are married younger and then are widowed because they rushed into a marriage. I was just concerned that a soldier had swept you off your feet and you would marry a complete stranger." There were tears in her eyes and my heart broke, just like it did everytime my mother cried.

"Oh mom!" I wrapped my arms around her. "I'm not going to marry Jesse. I'm smarter than that."

"I know you are, but when you're lost in love…sometimes you don't really think about things until after." She said with more personal feeling then a hypothetical comment should have. I looked at her worried and she smiled briefly. "Oh don't worry dear. I know I made the right choice. I just…sometimes I wondered if I truly made the right choice in marrying your father. And then I see you and your sister and I know that I did make the right choice. He's a good man and he loves us all, so I couldn't ask for a better life. But I don't want you to settle for a marriage and children. I want you to love the person and have him be the true one for you." She said, playing with my hair. I couldn't help the tears that were in my eyes.

"Oh mom. I'm so sorry from keeping it from you." I said, not knowing what else to say. I just had the feeling that I needed to apologize. She pulled me into her arms and held me close. I cried until she shushed me.

"Come on, lets go and buy your dress and then we have to find some shoes to match."She smiled brightly wiping away the tears from her eyes. We were lucky that no one else was around or we would be quite the sight. I went back into the room and took off the dress. As I was taking off the dress I looked at the price and gasped.

"What's wrong darling?" Mom called through the door.

"This dress cost $30.00." I said.

"Oh that's all." She laughed.

"That's all? Mom that's really too much money for a dress."

"It's not just any old dress. It's a party dress! You need a nice dress for the dance and I'm going to buy that dress for you."

"But…" I started and she stopped me. "No more "buts" miss. Take the dress off and pass it out. I'm going to pay for it."

"It is perfect isn't it." I said admiring it one last time before passing it out to mom.

"Yes it is a perfect dress for you." She said walking away.

"Thanks mom." I called after her. She turned and smiled at me.

"Your welcome dear. Now get changed."


	9. The Horrible Reality

"So…tell me about this boy then?" Mom said, sitting across from me, while she sipped her sweet tea. Mom and I had decided that we would go out for lunch after we found the perfect pair of shoes to match my dress. They were the latest fashion. They were white, with a 1 ¾ inch heel and with a tiny pink bow right on the front of the shoe. I loved them as soon as I saw them and they were comfortable too, so I would have a problem dancing in them at all.

So here we are at Dannie's Juke Box, which is a large high class diner that all the kids go to in town when there is a big event. People come to Dannie's for parties or birthday's. Di's diner is more for a casual night out. Dannie's is…groovy! Everyone loves Dannie's, well everyone but parents like mine. Papa's not too bad about eating at diner's but mom is very high class and cant stand eating food with her hands. So she ordered a salad with a sweet tea while I got a burger and fries. She cringed when I ordered it and I had to hide my smile.

"Well…what would you like to know about him?" I answered.

"Hm…well for a start I would like to know his name and where he came from?" She folded her hands neatly in front of her on the table.

"His name is Jesse de Silva and he is from Maryland." I nodded, somewhat proud of myself that I had remembered this.

"Maryland!" Mom looked somewhat surprised. She had probably thought that he lived closer than Maryland. "What is his family like?" She eyed me suspiciously. This was a trap. If I said I didn't know it would show that we had just met, but if I gave her a false detail she would start to wonder what I had been up too. I had to think out my answer very quickly.

"I…uh…only heard about them, because they live so far away." I gulped and her eye brow raised. "But I know that his father is older and they own a farm. He is a only child because his mother has problems conceiving children." I made that part up, for all I know it was his father who had trouble. "But I do know that he had a sister when he was younger but she died. She caught the fell out of a tree or something…" I said trying desperately to remember just exactly how she died.

"Oh that's horrible." Mom's suspicion was overcome by her sudden emotion and she forgot about her interrogation.

"Yea…" I sighed. "He said his mother was never the same after that. I think that's also the reason why they don't have any more children." I said and mom nodded.

"I couldn't imagine having to go through that." She studied her napkin sadly.

"I know. No one would want to imagine losing a child. But things happen." I shrugged. "Life goes on I guess."

"So he joined the war…?"

"Oh he joined so that his father could keep the farm going. You know they get a little bit of money for fighting and he sends that home to his parents every week." She looked at me and her face was changed somewhat. She no longer scowled or looked suspicious when she thought of Jesse like she had 10 minutes ago. Apparently I was doing a good job on his case. She sighed and took a big sip of her tea.

"Well, he sounds like a good boy. Someone who loves his family very much." She said to me. I nodded and took a sip of my Coca Cola. "Susanna, I would like to meet him when he comes home."

"Ok mom." I smiled brightly. "I'm sure he'll want to meet you guys as well." She smiled lightly and I couldn't help the broad smile that was on my face. I was so excited that I could barely eat my burger and fries when they were brought to me. All I could think about was three weeks. Three weeks and he'd be back.

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The next day I finished work just after 12. It had been quite a stressful morning. First of all Mrs. Slater, one of the high class citizens of our little town, came in with her twins boys, who were about three years old and let them have the run of the café. It drove Sue crazy, which only made her mad for the rest of the day. She put ME in charge of babysitting the twerps because "I was closer to their age than any of the other staff members!" I was so frustrated. I chased them around the café grabbing glass cups and sharp knives out of their hands before they could cause serious damage to themselves or someone else. Then they thought it would be fun to climb all over me. They got size 2 shoe prints on my pink poodle skirt and ripped one of my favorite pink bows into two pieces. I went bow-less for the rest of the shift! It was horrible! At 10:30 the woman left and gave me an extra $10 tip for watching the boys. I was so relieved and so was Sue. Then around 11 we got a mad rush of people, so many people in fact that we had a line going out the door. I avoided Mrs. Anderson and the committee ladies who chose today to have their lunch to discuss plans for the formal. I begged Cici to take that table, in my section, from me just for today. She gave me a funny look but took the table anyways. My shift ended with the rush and I was sent on my way with an exhausted nod from Sue and the others.

It was bright and sunny and I had the whole day ahead of me to do whatever I chose. I decided that today was a good day to walk. I waved goodbye to everyone and started off for home. Half way home I got very hot, and felt the sudden craving for something cool. That's when I spotted Evin's Scoop Shop. Evin's Scoop Shop was a tiny ice cream parlor, right by the "beach" which was really a small area covered in tiny stones that people would bring their children so they could toss rocks and such. It was a small building with a gold bell on the door that rang when you opened it to let him know that you were there. It had bright yellow walls with black and white tiles on the floor. She counters were a dark blue and had a light pink streak across it. Like every other popular place the juke box sat by the back window and was always playing the best music. That moment Sam Cooke's "She was Only 16" was playing on the juke box. It was one of my favorite songs and I felt immediately happy and calm. But as I studied my surroundings I saw 4 people and immediately regretted it my craving for ice cream.

"Hey Susie!" Adam said when he spotted me, leaning on the counter one elbow. He was wearing cream coloured pants with a green v-neck sweater and underneath he wore a white t-shirt. With his dark hair brushed back, he was a very handsome boy, but when you got past his looks you remembered what he was really like and on the inside he was not so attractive. If he even had a good side you would never see it because of his lack of being a real human and having true compassion. He was so stuck in his ways, the ways he thought things were supposed to go. For example getting a wife to cook and clean for you and have all your children but still be aloud to go out late with friends and flirt with other women. I scowled at him as I remembered what his mother had told me yesterday.

"Hello." I nodded to him and his friends. Brad and Jake smiled smugly at me, but Dave gave me a genuine smile, a smile that said he wasn't thinking something bad about me and that he might actually be happy to see me. I studied him carefully, raising my eyebrows, and his smile slowly started to fade from his face. I went up to the counter and a young girl, nervously twirling her hair around her finger, looking at the boys, came to take my order.

"I'd like a two scoop of the chocolate please." I said sweetly and she nodded, before looking at the boys again and went to get my ice cream. While I was waiting I decided now would be a good time to address the problem that Adam and I had.

"So…" I said moving close to him, so close that I was resting against him. "Where do you get the idea that I'm going to go to the dance with you?" I hissed quietly, so only he could hear, while I pretended to wipe something off his shirt. I heard him swallow, nervously.

"I'm sorry, Susie." He whispered back. "But I just didn't know what else to say."

"Well for one thing you could have said you're going alone." I snapped.

"Alone? Me?" He laughed. "I can't go to the dance alone!" I could feel my blood beginning to boil at his arrogance.

"God forbid you actually look like a normal guy and go to the dance alone. Do all of your BUDDIES have dates for the dance?" I asked looking at them over his shoulder. Brad looked down at his shoes scowling. Jake smiled brightly at the girl behind the counter which let me know that he was going with her and Dave's face was as red as an apple.

"Who are you going with Dave?" I asked. He looked at me and then looked away. Adam laughed out loud and touched my arm gently.

"He's taking your sister to the dance, Susie." He smiled down at me.

"My sister? Debbie?" I looked from Adam to Dave and back. I was so shocked. I should have seen it coming. I mean at the café they looked pretty cozy and she has been dancing around the house for three weeks acting all…weird.

"Yea Susie…that's why I thought…I thought it would be fitting if we went together. " Adam half whispered to me. That's when I snapped back to the real issue.

"Well mister! THINK AGAIN! You don't have the RIGHT to go around making plans for me. I am not you're wife! I'm not your possession!" I shouted. Then I heard the response, "Not yet" from fat Brad and almost fainted with anger.

"No I will never ever EVER end up with you! NEVER!" I shouted in his face and the smile dropped. He honestly looked hurt. "I don't know what it will take for you to figure it out but it isn't going to work out that way between me and you Adam!" I said more calmly.

"I…I don't see why not Susie. You and I are perfect for each other. We're made from the same cloth." He said quietly.

"No Adam we're not." I turned back to the counter and payed for my ice cream. I could feel him watching me closely and was afraid to look at him because I desperately wanted to hit something. I heard him sigh and he leaned in close to me.

"You're not seeing anyone are you?" He said to me and then looked over his shoulder at Dave. That's when I saw the real picture. Adam had told his mother that I'd be going with him because my wonderful sister, Debbie had told Dave about Jesse. So Adam was threatened and made a decision for me. I could lie to him and tell him that Jesse and I are dating and jeopardize my mother and I getting into another fight or I could tell him the truth and let him have a little bit of reassurance in himself. This was one messed up love triangle.

"Adam, it doesn't matter if I am seeing anyone or not…" I thought about my words carefully before I spoke them. "You and I are too different. It just won't work. I don't want to go to the dance with you next week. And I would like you to tell your mother that we are not going together." I said in a demanding tone. He studied my face for a minute and then smiled at me.

"Ok Susie." He shrugged. He leaned in closer to me and whispered in my ear, "but when you're standing all by yourself in the back of the room you'll regret not going with me." He said smugly. I chocked, and the heat of passion laughed in his face.

"Who says I'll be all by myself in a back corner?" I smiled brightly and he half scowled back down. I knew that I wasn't an ugly girl and that at least a couple of boys would ask me to dance.

"You're forgetting the…influence I have over people, especially the boys." He smiled again and I blanked. I had forgotten that. Almost every boy that hadn't gone off to war was terrified of Adam and his buddies. I would end up having the worst night because everyone would be too afraid to dance with me. "I guess I'll see you Tuesday then." He said passing me. They guys walked back smiling smugly, apart from Dave who gave me a sympathetic tap on the shoulder. I groaned, dreading what I was about to do.

"Adam!" I said calling after him. He stopped moving and motioned to the guys to keep going without him. He turned to me and gave me that smug smile that sent shivers up my spine and made my hairs stand on end. I was going to seriously regret this!


	10. Notorious Debbie

The week passed by slowly and this was partly because of the upcoming formal. Both Debbie and I went the Saturday before to get our hair trimmed into new styles and we bought new accessories to go with my pink dress and her green dress. She wouldn't let me see it, just told me that it was dark green with gold on it. So I could only imagine what it looked like.

I wrote Jesse another letter about the formal, complaining about my predicament hoping that he wouldn't see it as too selfish. Here I am dreading an upcoming dance and he's over there training to kill people. I debated telling him, but gave in because I desperately needed someone to tell who would give me an answer that I actually wanted. I had told mom about what Adam had said and she told me that I must have heard it wrong because he would never do such a thing. Debbie was too wrapped up in Dave and the formal this week that she barely listened to me and Gina just shrugged like it was nothing really bad and that I should just accept it. So I told Jesse and I felt good pouring out all of my feelings about it.

The day of the formal was a hectic one. I didn't have to work that day and it was a good thing because mom and the ladies needed help with the last minute decorations and Debbie and I got sucked into helping. It took us over two hours to put the balloons up and to hang the ribbons and put the flowers on the tables. Then mom had to stop and get the ingredients for the punch because she was in charge of the punch table. What was Papa doing you may wonder? Well he was at home, where all the men were, watching the football game on television.

We got home at lunch time and scrambled into the bathroom to get washed. Debbie beat me and took forever in the bath. So while I waited I laid out my dress, my pearl earrings that I had just gotten for my 16th birthday and my gold necklace to match the dress. Then I needed my nylons and my shoes, plus my new lace bow that clipped into my hair and I was all set. I stood back and looked at my ensemble. It was amazing what I had managed to put together in just a week.

Debbie got out of the bathroom an hour later. Her hair was fixed in tight curls and she wore a white bathrobe and fuzzy white slippers. "Bathroom's all yours." She said peeking her head in the door as she passed.

"Thanks." I grumbled as I went into the bathroom. It was hot from the hair dryer and curlers and moist from the hot bath that Debbie took. I filled up the tub with water and as I stuck my toe in I groaned. I was just warm enough to get quickly clean. She had used pretty much all of the hot water and Mom was going to freak when she couldn't get herself ready for the dance. The water, like I predicted, went ice cold 15 minutes later and I shivered as I let the water run out. I wrapped a towel around my body and dried my hair with another towel. I dried it with the dryer and put the hot curlers in my hair, just a few of them to give my hair a slight curl, and then went into my room to get dressed.

Mom knocked on my door half an hour later as I was sitting at my vanity touching up my makeup and brushing my curls. She looked at me and smiled brightly.

"I knew it would be perfect!" She squealed. "You look so beautiful honey!" She hugged me tightly and I couldn't help but laugh.

"Oh thanks mom." I blushed. "I couldn't have done it without you." I said sincerely. She smiled brighter, if that was even possible.

"Do you need help with anything?" She asked looking around the room. The sun was just starting to set and it gave my room an orange glow.

"No I don't think so. I'm ready to go." I said and putting the finishing touches to my eyes and looking myself over in the mirror. I had a black eye liner around my eyes, framing the sharp edges and I had a little bit of mascara and some pink lip stick.

"Well we'll be leaving in half an hour." She said as she left the room. "Oh!" She said popping back into the room. "There's a letter downstairs on the table." She smiled slightly. I shot out of my chair knocking it over.

"When did it come?" I gasped picking up the chair. Mom was shocked, yet amused by my outburst.

"While you were in the bath, dear. Are you alright?"Her eyes were wide, but her mouth had a smile playing at the corners. I rushed past her quickly.

"I'm fantastic!" I called up the stairs as I raced down them. I skipped into the kitchen and saw the small white envelope on the table between the salt and pepper shakers. I snatched it quickly and headed back to the stairs, passing Papa along the way. He was sitting on the couch reading the paper.

"You look nice Susanna." He called after me.

"Thanks." I said without even looking at him. I heard him chuckle as I raced up the stairs, but I was too excited about my letter. As I passed Debbie's door she knew what I had and she laughed too.

"Remember we're leaving in half an hour!" She teased and I closed the door smiling to myself. I sat at the edge of my bed, like a lady and tore open the envelope. I loved getting letters in the mail.

_Dearest Susanna,_

I was somewhat shocked at this. He normally just wrote Susanna. I laughed at myself for over-reacting to the simple word with such a casual meaning.

_I am regretfully sorry that I can not be there to help you with this Adam person. I promise that I will be there next time. And when I come home I will put an end to this…harassment. I know you will have a good time and I really wish that I was going to be there with you. Reading your last letter I could almost hear your voice. It was more like you, or what I know from that day that we spent together. Not that the first letter wasn't nice to receive either, but this one just sounded more…relaxed, or real than the other. _

_I really want to be there with you. You have no idea. Paul is constantly reading his letters from his girlfriend back home and it makes me long to see you again. I just want to see your smile again, just one last time and I would be fine going off to war. _

_I am glad that you told your mother about me, but I am also unsure. I feel anxious about it. What if I am not up to their expectations of a beau for you? Not that I am your beau, but…I wish to be. None the less I am looking forward to meeting your mother and father and the Notorious Debbie. I love hearing stories about her. It makes me laugh to hear the way you talk of her._

_I am very thankful that you let me into your life, even if it is through these letters. I don't know how I would coop with all this training if I didn't have something to look forward to almost everyday. _

I blushed at this, yet I knew he was teasing. For that is how many letters I had written to him and he had wrote me 3. But then again I was the one with all the time here, so it was understandable that I write more letters than him. I continued reading.

_Don't misunderstand me I love hearing from you. Like I said it gives me something to look forward to, and it makes all the guys jealous when I get a letter every day and they get one once a week. So thank you for everything. I hope you enjoy your dance, and don't get to attached to any of the young gentlemen, for I will be returning in less than a month and will be ready to fight for your heart. _

_Forever Yours, _

_Jesse._

I gaped at the letter. This was a lot more personal than the other two letters he had given me. He was very open and told me his feelings. I sank back on the bed and exhaled nervously. He was falling for me just as hard as I was falling for him. This could be seriously dangerous. I was already having dreams about what it would be like to marry him and have his children. I shook myself when I got that way because I barely knew him. Debbie chose this moment to walk in, with out walking…Notorious Debbie!

"Ready to…What are you doing? You're going to wreak your hair!" She scolded playfully and I slowly sat up. Her green dress was amazing. It was floor length and a dark green like she had said. It fit her tiny, bony frame perfectly. It was a dress that lay straight down, perfect for girls with no curves, which was Debbie. There was a gold sash around the middle that tied the dress together, or made it look that way. One shoulder was covered by dark green fabric that fell down to her elbow and the other shoulder was bare. She had green eye shadow on and some black eyeliner and her hair was in tight curls with a gold butterfly clip. She looked amazing, older than the 14 year old that she was.

I sighed again, not able to speak; still overcome by joy of finding out Jesse's true feelings for me. She smiled at me from the doorway, "That good, huh?" She teased as she sat on the bed beside me. I nodded and bit my lower lip happily.

"He is…I just…" I tried to explain but I couldn't.

"Wow, he has you speechless. That's amazing. I didn't think anyone would be able to get you to stop talking." She smiled smugly at her jab and I pinched her.

"That was mean." I laughed at the insult, because I knew she never meant it. "Besides you're the one who talks the most. I'm the quiet one, remember?"

"Yes, but you know what they say?"She said and I shook my head, not knowing what she was talking about. "You gotta watch out for the quiet ones." She winked at me playfully and I looked at her shocked. I laughed because the alternative meaning to this amused me.

"So is that why you are dating David?" I winked at her and she blushed for the first time in a long time. She looked nervously at the door and then back at me.

"Hush! I don't want mom and Papa knowing." She whispered furiously, but smiled at me brightly.

"Oh come on Debbie. Their bound to find out your secret eventually!" I whispered back.

"Yes I will tell them, just not yet. He's so much older than me." I looked at her shocked. Dave was only a year or two older. He was my age and was in a lot of my classes and out of the 4 of them he was the only one that was truly nice to people. He simply hung out with them for the image, or so I thought.

"He's not that much older than you Debbie." I said getting up to fix my hair.

"How much older is Jesse?" She asked curiously, playing with the hem of her skirt. I looked at her ready to give her an answer and then I blanked. If he had joined the army he had to be over 16, which made him older, which wasn't a good thing, especially to mom and Papa. Second he didn't look young but I hadn't really thought about it until now. I put him between 18 and 21. She stared at me waiting for an answer and I felt my cheeks heat up.

"I have no idea." I blushed and she shrieked.

"Well, well…Aren't you the bold and daring one!" She said playing with my hair, as she stood behind me. Mom popped her head in the door and smiled.

"What's all the yelling about?" She smiled brightly. I blushed a deeper red and then Debbie froze.

"Oh you know mom…" I said.

"We're just gossiping about the formal. Apparently Gina's boyfriend Andy is going to propose." Debbie gushed. I stared at her point blank in the mirror with horror. She made up a rumor and I was going to be the one to pay for it.

"DEBBIE!!!!" I exclaimed. She looked at me in the mirror and shrugged.

"Well…won't that be nice. A bit young though." Mom said thoughtfully. "Anyways, let's get going. I want to be there before the dinner starts." She smiled again and disappeared.

"Why would you say something that isn't true?" I whispered, getting up to get my hand bag.

"I needed to say something to get her off our backs."

"You couldn't have made up something else about another person we know? It had to be Gina, my best friend." I rolled my eyes. "Now she's going to be so mad at me, because she'll think I started this."

"No she won't, because I didn't get the idea from you." Debbie winked at me and I gaped at her.

"Well who did you get it from?" I placed my hands on my hips and she smiled brightly.

"Dave told me that he saw Andy at the jewelers looking at rings. It isn't every day that a boy goes into the Jewelers to buy a ring Sis." She said nonchalantly.

"So it's not a rumor then?" I asked her, about to burst at the seams.

"Well…I don't know if he bought the ring, but he was defiantly looking at them!" She smiled broadly and I shrieked.

"We can't tell Gina." I said, more to myself than her. Debbie nodded beside me.

"Good luck keeping it a secret." She said over her shoulder, as she was leaving my room. "If it was hard for me it will be death for you!" She laughed as she left the doorway and I shook my head. Notorious Debbie! Always the one to cause trouble!


	11. The Formal:Pt 1

We arrived at St. Anne's Hall at 5:20; ten minutes before dinner was served. We went in through the big doors and smiled to an older couple that went to our church, and we had no idea what there names were. While mom and Papa talked to them, Debbie and I went to the doors to the hall and looked at everyone who was there. The hall was buzzing with people. There was every colour of dress there and the boys were dressed up in their suit jackets and ties. Everyone from our little town was at this function, so there were maybe 100 tables and there were 6 to 8 people to a table. Out of all those tables, Debbie spotted our table and it was close to the stage, in the middle, by the dance floor. Committee members got the best seats. At our table was Gina and her parents and Andy was there too. I groaned inwardly hoping that mom wouldn't mention the proposal at dinner tonight.

"Well girls are you ready to go in now? We've been waiting for you for forever!" Papa teased placing a hand on each of our shoulders and we smiled. He opened the doors and led us into the room. There was a small orchestra in the back corner playing some classical music while everyone sat down and they would continue playing through dinner.

I spotted Adam sitting at a table with his mother and father and he looked very glum. I was curious for a spilt second, forgetting the repulsive person that he was, and wondered what was wrong with him. That was until he looked up and spotted me. He looked shocked, which somewhat pleased me and then he smiled that awful smug smile and nodded in my direction. I turned away sharply and pretended that I never saw him.

"Not going to say hi sis?" Debbie teased, for she had seen they way he greeted me as well.

"Defiantly not! He can come and say a proper hello after dinner." I snapped and tuck my nose in the air as I walked by. We got to the table and Gina jumped out of her chair and hugged me. She grasped me so tightly that I started to lose my breath.

"Gina…" I gasped. "What's wrong?" She jumped and let go quickly. She looked worried yet excited.

"I'll tell you later." She whispered to me and then winked. I laughed slightly and shook my head. We took our seats and got comfortable. Mom started talking to Gina's mom, who you could tell spent a lot of time on her dark brown dress, accompanied by a dark brown fur coat. Her graying hair was in a French twist and her lips were a dark red. Gina never took after her mother in the sense of being materialistic. She stuck to her natural beauty and only wore makeup on special occasions and even then, she never wore that much make up. Gina was more like her father. Very laid back and loves to laugh. She never really got upset and was always looking out for me. She was an only child and she has always thought of me as her sister and I thought of her as mine. So naturally I sat beside her. Andy was on the other side of her and Debbie was on the other side of me.

"So…" Debbie started smiling mischeviously. "What is new in your world Gina?" I gave her the warning look and she shrugged slightly.

"Nothing really Debbie, just the occasional shift at Di's Diner." She bit her lower lip and looked at me through her lashes.

"That's what you are bursting to tell me isn't it?" I laughed at myself.

"Yes!" She gushed. "I got a job!" She beamed at me and then Debbie as we both congratulated her. Andy smiled sweetly at her excitement.

"Now you're not the only working girl Susanna." Gina's father smiled at me. His dark brown mustache wiggled as he spoke and his eyes twinkled with amusement. I smiled at him, sensing his pride in his only daughter. I looked over at Gina's mother and she looked annoyed. It was the face of a mother who clearly didn't think that it was right that her daughter had a job, somewhat like mine had looked when I first got a job.

As people started to engage in conversation, I took the opportunity to look around. I noticed that Dave and his family were here. They were seated directly across the hall from us and very hard to miss. Dave had 4 brothers, all younger than him, the youngest being 4 ½ and they idolized Dave. He was sticking a spoon to the end of his nose and showing his brothers how to do the same. I watched as they got a quick scolding from their mother. I smiled at his normality and saw him glance over at our table. Of course he had noticed that Debbie was here the problem was that Debbie hadn't noticed him yet. She was too busy talking about shoes with Gina to notice. Dave met my eyes and I smiled, rolled my eyes at Debbie and nudged her, somewhat subtly.

She glanced up sharply at my nudged and followed my direction. When she spotted him she burst into a huge grin and waved slightly. I saw mom look at Debbie and then try to see who she was waving too, but luckily Dave didn't wave back he just smiled at her. Mom looked at her curiously and then sighed. She knew she couldn't stop Debbie, or myself, from having boys like us or the other way around. But I think it still bothered her.

Mayor Beaumont stood up to give his welcome and to say grace. He was a tall, heavy man with a bald head and a white mustache. He always wore a suit and had two rings that he never took off. One ring was his wedding ring, and the other was his college ring. His wife, Margret, stood up to stand with him leaving their son Tad at the table by himself. Tad was…gorgeous. He was about 6 ft 2, blonde, blue eyed and had perfectly straight teeth. He swam every day which gave him nicely toned muscles and in the summer he always had a nice tan.

Every girl had their eye on him, for it was hard not too, but he never showed very much interest in the local girls, just the girls that were like him, rich and powerful. Many girls said it was because he was home schooled and that's what made him so stuck up, but others saw his reasoning behind seeing only political daughters. They way I saw it was that many of the local girls were so concerned with getting married and starting the life that they were raised to have and that life, to them, would be so much easier if they had money. So naturally Tad was a target and the fact that he was beautiful helped out. Debbie and I liked to look at him but we never through ourselves at him because we knew we weren't going to stand a chance. So as much as it hurt your pride to know that you could never have him, you still understood where he was coming from.

After the speech from the mayor dinner was served. We got roast beef, with mashed potatoes and some vegetables, plus some chicken soup and a cherry cheesecake for dessert. The dinner conversation was light and remained light, though I almost spilled the news to Gina twice. I caught myself just in time and Debbie always came to my rescue. Gina never noticed anything, but Andy kept giving us curious glances and eyeing us suspiciously. When Gina got up to leave the table that's when it all came out.

"So is it true Andrew?" Mom leaned on the table and whispered to him. I choked on my carrot and Debbie smacked my back to free it from my throat.

"Is what true Mrs. Simon?" Andy asked politely.

"That you are going to ask Gina to marry you?" Mom smiled brightly from Andy and then to Gina's parents. Gina's mother beamed back, yet Gina's father looked glum. He smiled but you could see the sadness in his eyes. Andy nodded slightly and mom shrieked slightly.

"Oh congratulations!" She squealed clutching Gina's Mother's arm. She shrieked back at her and the two of them looked ridiculous.

"Their a bit young, but it doesn't have to be right away." She said and mom nodded along. Papa and Gina's father exchanged quiet congratulations and hand shakes, both sharing the same look. It was puzzling to see because you would think that they would be happy that their daughter was going to marry someone that she loved and someone who would take care of her.

"I would appreciate that you don't say anymore about it tonight though, please." Andy said suddenly. "I would rather her hear the news of OUR engagement from me then from one of the ladies of the church committee." He said it with a smile but his voice was so stern that you knew he was not joking. Both women nodded and let out giggles at the fact that the church ladies probably would spread the news if more found out.

"They wont say anything son." Papa said. "We'll make sure of it." He looked at mom and nodded. She waved him away and they burst into giggles again.

"What's so funny?" Gina asked coming back to the table. She sat down and put her hand through Andy's on the table.

"Oh your father." Her mother said. "He thinks he can control me." She laughed again.

"As I recall it was not me that spoke." Her father rolled his eyes. Gina looked from one parent to the other and sighed. Their love-less relationship at one time had frightened her. She was afraid to end up like them and for a while she swore off men. Then she met Andy and never looked back at that old way of thinking. She looked to Andy's parents as more of role models of a good marriage rather than her own.

She turned to me and looked me straight in the face. "So, Susie, how's it going with the writing?" She looked around the table and noticed that no one was paying attention.

"They all know about the letters Gina." I smiled.

"Oh…well. How is it going then? Does he fill the lines with blood and gore?" She smiled mischeviously. I laughed.

"Gina, he's still in California. He'll be training for another two weeks and then he goes home for a break before Vietnam." She nodded.

"So, what does he write about then?"

"Well, he talks about his training sessions and about his friends that he made." I shrugged.

"He loves her." Debbie whispered to Gina and Gina gasped.

"What?" She whispered back and I stared at Debbie.

"I never…"

"He wrote her a letter that made her speechless. So it must have said something romantic and sweet, like… 'I love you' Or 'I miss you a lot'. Something that would make you hold the letter to your rapidly beating heart as if you were about to die. And that letter was the only thing that would save you." Debbie said smugly. I pinched her arm in retaliation and she shrieked.

"I didn't hold the letter like that!" I defended. "I just…held it." I blushed, looking down at my napkin. Gina burst out laughing and Debbie was stifling her laugh as well. "It's not funny!" I whined.

"What are you whining about Susanna?" Mom asked.

"Yes what is all the laughter about?" Gina's mom asked.

"Her letters." Debbie said through laughter. I looked up sharply and felt murderous. I knew my face was a deep red now. Mom just nodded and smiled to herself, but Gina's mother looked curious.

"Letters? What letters?" She asked.

"Susanna has been receiving letters from a friend in the army." Mom said calmly. She looked from mom to me and back again.

"Letters…from a boy in the army?" Her eyes squinted in curiosity. I nodded and so did mom. She smiled slightly and looked into mothers eyes.

"It's completely harmless, Jane. Their just silly letters. Nothing real." Mom said and I felt a stab of hurt. It was like she was talking about some disease…_It's completely Harmless_… _nothing real!_ I looked down into my lap to hide the tears in my eyes. How would she know if it was real or not? She didn't know what I felt or what he felt.

"Well…as long as you don't end up married by Christmas then I know its fine." Jane said.

"Its not going to happen. I can assure you." Mom said, directing her voice at me, but I refused to look at her. I was so mad that I knew if I looked up I was surely going to scream. In fact if I had sat there any longer I would have screamed. I stood up abruptly and gave a polite "excuse me" before leaving the table.

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I went to the bathroom to dry my tears and then ventured outside so I wouldn't have to see anybody give me concerned looks. I went to the back of the building and leaned against the wall. I looked up and told myself to calm down. She was only concerned for me, like she had said. I stood there for 10 minutes before the back door opened. Tad stepped out the door looking back over his shoulder to see if anyone was watching him. He closed the door behind him, reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a lighter and a cigarette. Just as he lit it I coughed to indicate that I was her.

"Jesus Christ!" He jumped, practically dropping the cigarette on the ground. I smiled.

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you. I just didn't want you to think I was watching you." He nodded. He looked at me then the cigarette and dropped it on the ground to put it out. "Don't put it out for my sake. I wont tell you're secret. Besides I can only imagine the strain your under with." I sympathized. I looked at the sky again, which was a light purple now and noticed that a few stars were starting to appear.

"Are you sure? I mean…it doesn't bother you?" He asked, his voice deep yet curious.

"Not at all. I remember one time, my friend and I stole a packet from the corner store when we were 11. We thought we were so bad." I laughed remembering that day that Gina had heard her parents fighting. Her mom had been caught again with another man and her father was threatening to leave. So she called me and said she needed to do something…something bad. That's the worst we could think of.

"Do you want one?" He said moving closer to me. He head out a cigarette for me and I looked at it longingly. I debated the outcome and gave in.

"Thanks." I said taking it from him and he lit it for me. As I inhaled the first puff I could feel my body relax slightly. I rested back against the wall, closed my eyes and felt calm again.

"So… Your Susanna Simon right?" He said looking at me sideways.

"Yes." I answered keeping my eyes closed.

"You know…not once have you ever talked to me." He said. I opened my eyes to see if he was serious and he was smiling.

"Well not once have you ever talked to me either." I smiled back. "Besides I always figured you had enough girls around you to keep your company."

"This is true. But none of them I have ever admitted my secret too."

"That happened by coincidence." I said, pulling on the cigarette.

"And here we are. Smoking together."

"My mother would kill me!" I sighed.

"So would mine." He sighed the exact same way and I couldn't help but laugh. He laughed too, but not as much. Eventually the laughter died down and we were quiet again.

"So how's the life of the rich and famous?" I asked.

"You know…hard." He shrugged. I could tell he didn't want to talk about it, but really what else was there to talk about.

"I completely understand I mean…I don't know how many times you have to tell your maid to clean your room before it actually gets done." I said, trying to sound serious and I think he believed me because he stared at me with surprise on his face. I smiled, "I'm only kidding. I don't have a maid and I have to clean my own room." He laughed.

"Wow. I thought you were serious." He smiled at me. "You don't know how many girls have said something along those lines to me." Now it was my turn to be shocked.

"Really? That is so…embarrassing." He looked at me puzzled. "I mean to be classified in the same group as them…The Local Girls. That's horrible." He laughed and I smiled back.

"Well in case you were wondering…I don't have a maid to clean my room. I have to clean it myself. The only servants we have are a pool boy and a gardener. And we only have them because we hate to clean the pool and mother doesn't like to garden." I nodded and smiled.

"Well I stand corrected then. My apologies." I said sarcastically. I heard music all of a sudden coming from the front of the hall.

"Susanna? Susanna? Are you out here?" I heard someone calling me. I jumped. I put out the cigarette quickly.

"Well I have to go. Thanks for the…Well thanks." I said smiling. He smiled back and I turned around the corner of the building to meet the person at the front. I straightened out my skirt and took a deep breath.

"Wait. Here." Tad said, catching up with me. He passed me a wrapped mint. I smiled and nodded again. "I uh…don't have perfume, but I do have some cologne with me." I reached into his pocket and pulled out a tiny bottle ready to spray me with it. I held up my hands and smiled.

"It's ok. I think my sister has some in her bag." I smiled and he nodded again. I waved goodbye and went to find whoever was looking for me. As I rounded the last corner to the front of the building I saw Adam looking frantically up and down the street for me. He looked worried, which pleased me somewhat.

"Are you looking for me?" I asked sweetly. I watched his upper chest completely collapse with relaxation. He smiled at me and came towards me.

"I was looking for you everywhere." He said as he walked towards me.

"Why?" I clasped my hands together in front of me and he reached out and touched my arms.

"Gina went to look for you and when she couldn't find you she came and got me." I frowned at this. Why would she get Adam and not my parents.

"Well I'm fine." I said. He pulled me into his arms and breathed deeply.

"I'm glad your safe." He whispered. This was a whole new side to him that I didn't know if I liked. "You smell awful." That was the Adam I knew.

"Well thanks Adam. You don't smell to bad yourself." I pushed him away.

"No I mean. You smell like smoke." He said.

"Well there were a couple of smoking people back there." I shrugged opening the doors to the hall.

"Make sure you spray some perfume. I don't want to smell smoke the whole night." I rolled my eyes. What a guy!


	12. The Formal:Pt 2

The dancing started around 7:00 and the very first song was The Twist by Chubby Checker. Everybody, young and old got up and danced to the song. People were laughing and dancing and just having a good time. I danced with Gina and Debbie while the boys went and sat around drinking and smoking cigars. When Blue Moon, by Sam Cooke, started to play I went and sat down at the table.

I didn't have to sit for long before Adam came to get me, but I did get to see Dave come and ask Debbie for a dance. She blushed three shades of red and grabbed his hand, leading him to the floor. I smiled after her and mom shook her head with amusement. Apparently she didn't have to wait very long either, to find out who caught Debbie's heart.

When Adam came over, I didn't notice. The only reason I knew someone was behind me was because Mom coughed into her gloved hand and motioned behind me. When I turned around Adam was there and he was looking at his hands, like he was nervous. He was so weird today.

"Are you ok?" I asked him and his head shot up to look at me. He smiled brightly and nodded.

"Yea I'm fine. Come on. I want to dance!" He said grabbing my hand and pulling me from my seat. I looked after him incredulously.

When we were on the dance floor, pretty much in the middle, he pulled me close to him, one hand on my lower back and the other holding my right hand gently. We danced slowly, back and forth. The music took a hold of me and I rested my head on his chest and sighed. At least I tell myself it was the music, for I would never ever want to have…feelings for Adam! We moved back and forth, not saying a word until just before the song ended he spoke and I was snapped back to reality very quickly.

"Susie…I love you." I froze when he said this. I didn't know what to do. I looked around frantically for a way out. Debbie was locked eyes with Dave and Gina was dancing far away with Andy. I couldn't find rescue anywhere.

"I um…" I looked up, foolishly. His face was inches from mine and I felt danger closing in. I scrambled for words as his face got closer and closer to mine. "Why?" I managed to exhale before he kissed me. He looked at me for a second and then pulled his head back.

"Why what?" He asked.

"Why do you love me?" I asked and he looked shocked.

"Why do I love you? Did you really ask me that?" He laughed.

"Well?"

"Well…I love you because…you're beautiful."

"I won't be beautiful in 20 years after having children." I said sarcastically but it made my point clear. Beauty was not enough for love.

"You're funny."

"Humor comes and goes with the mood. You wouldn't like to see me on a bad day."

"You're smart, energetic, and passionate. You care for people no matter who they are and how they treat you. Everyone looks up to you. My parents love you. Even my friends like you."

"So you love me because you're parents do and because I got the ok from you buddies?" I stopped dancing at this point and he looked around nervously. I realized I was starting to make a scene and Adam didn't do well in scene's that made him look like an idiot.

"Come on." He grabbed my hand and started pulling me to the front doors of the hall. I didn't resist him because then it would have blown up into an even bigger scene than it was. He led me straight outside, around the side of the building where Tad had given me the mint.

"Susie. I just told you I loved you and you asked me why! I don't understand you. A guy pours out his heart to you and you want to make him feel like an idiot!" He scowled, turning away from me and running a hand through his hair.

"Adam I didn't mean to make you look like an idiot." He pretty much did that on his own. "I just…it's just that not every day I have someone tell me that they love me. S0-"

"You should take it as a compliment then!" He snapped. I pushed down my anger and finished my interrupted sentence.

"SO I need to know why you love me. Because how do you know it's actually love and not just a feeling that you could maybe love me one day?"

"I just know."

"How Adam? How? Just knowing isn't enough." He turned to me and looked me straight in the eyes.

"How do I know? Every time I see you I get a weird feeling in my stomach, like butterflies. When I'm at football practice I'd rather be with you then on the field. When I see Dave and Debbie together I think that it should be me and you. I don't think of anyone else but you. I haven't been on a date since May and that date was with YOU!"

"That could be because you've gone out with everyone else!" I said sarcastically. He stared at me with horror. "Sorry that was uncalled for." He didn't smile, just stared at me like I had three heads. I cleared my throat. "I was only kidding. But Adam…I just…" He put his hands on either side of my face.

"Every time I see you…I want to kiss you. I want to spend every moment with you. Now tell me that's not love." He said.

"Adam that's not-" But he wouldn't let me finish. He pulled my face, gently, up to his and kissed me softly. I would have minded if he had said something more vulgar, but I got caught up in the heat of the moment and let him kiss me.

His lips were soft and warm against mine. They excited yet scared me. His kiss was nothing like Jesse's. When I kissed Jesse I lost myself in it, but with Adam…I felt every movement and heard every breath. Which is why I broke the kiss when I heard footsteps approaching.

I pulled my face away from his and looked towards the back of the building. He looked down at me dazed and confused.

"What's-" I put my lip to his mouth and listened. All of a sudden Tad appeared and I jumped. He was surprised to see us there. I watched him look us over, from head to foot and saw realization of what he had interrupted crossed his face. I blushed as I saw a smile at the corner of his mouth. Adam dropped his hands from my waist and stepped back.

"Sorry…I uh didn't mean to interrupt." He smiled briefly and walked around us. He winked at me as he passed behind Adam and I blushed even more. When he was out of sight and we had heard the doors close to the hall, I exhaled.

"I didn't even know he was there." I rubbed my forehead.

"What was he doing back there any way?" Adam asked, turning to look where Tad had appeared.

"He could have heard everything!" I cried. That would be humiliating if he heard it all.

"It didn't look like he heard everything. He seemed pretty shocked to see us there." Adam sighed. He inched closer and that fear arose again. But all he did was tuck a loose strand of hair behind my ear. "We better go back inside." He sighed, looking regretful. I nodded and he took my hand leading me inside again. Once inside I dropped his hand and smiled, slightly.

"Um, I'm just going to go to the bathroom and uh…" I rubbed my lips slightly and he smirked at me.

"Ok. I'll see you in there." He nodded towards the hall.

"Don't say anything!" I said sternly. He tried to give me a look of shock.

"Who am I going to tell?" He smiled.

"Don't say anything! Because I remember you telling me that you love me. Bet your friends would love that!" I know it was cruel, but when was I ever nice to Adam? He scowled at me.

"I knew you would use that against me!" He snapped. Then a thought crossed his mind, which made him smile. "I still mean it though." I stared at him. He seriously thought he loved me. I couldn't wrap my mind around it and walked away from him flabbergasted.

I opened the bathroom door, thinking over what had happened, and walked right into Debbie.

'Woa Sis. Where's your mind?" She smiled at me. I exhaled, clutching my rapidly beating heart.

"Oh sorry Debbie, I uh… didn't see you there." I passed by her and went to the tiny sinks. I looked in the round, silver mirror. My lips were not as puffy as I thought, but they were red and both of my cheeks had a pink tinge to them. I turned to Debbie and gave my most convincing smile, but she crossed her arms and studied me.

"What did you do?" She asked me in a 'scolding mother' tone.

"Nothing. Why would you think I did anything?" I asked.

"Because you look guilty and…weird." She squinted at me and I couldn't help but laugh.

"Oh Debbie you'll never believe what just happened to me!" I laughed and laughed. I couldn't stop laughing. I laughed so hard that tears rolled down my cheeks. Debbie smiled at me, because when you see someone laughing you automatically want to join in, but she had no idea what was going on. I never got the chance to tell her because Heather walked in and our moment together was gone.

She nodded at me, turning her nose up and smiled brightly to Debbie. She was wearing a white dress that hung off her tiny body. It was tight around the neck, no sleeves and no design to the material. It was just long and loose, and very plain. Especially for Heather! Her blonde hair was in tight curls and she had two golden pins in her hair to hold it out of her face.

"So…Did you see Adam out there? I mean he was practically staring at me the whole time he was dancing with…well while he was dancing. I mean he couldn't stop staring." She said to herself in the mirror, touching up her pink lip stick.

"I don't think so." Debbie frowned. She hadn't caught on that Heather wasn't all that fond of me.

"He definalty was Deb! I mean he was drooling at the sight of me." I rolled my eyes at her disgusting narcissism. Then I spotted it. I wasn't sure if I should make a comment because after all it was embarrassing, but I just couldn't pass it up. I knew I would feel horrible later, but I told myself I could live with it.

"Maybe it was your dress." I said and she looked at me in the mirror. She scowled for a second, thinking I was making fun of her and then she must've thought that I liked it because she then said,  
"I know isn't it amazing." She smiled brightly and turned in a circle. I reached over and grabbed the red lipstick from Debbie's clutch.

"No I mean…maybe it was the spot on your dress." I shrugged, applying lipstick to my own lips.

"What? A spot?" She freaked searching over her dress frantically.

"Yea, on the back." I pressed my lips together to blend the lipstick and snapped the lid back on. She tried desperately to see the back but she couldn't.

"I don't see anything. Susanna Simon if this is your way of getting back at me for stealing your boyfriend, its not my fault!" She said sharply. I smiled at her slightly and shrugged.

"Well…You can think that I'm lying to you, but I honestly think you made a bad decision wearing a white dress when you're…friend has come to visit you." She looked at me curiously and I stared at her directly back. It was like watching an egg timer. I could even hear the ding in her head when she realized what KIND of spot it was. Her hand went to her mouth, her face was purple with embarrassment, and she looked at me completely horrified.

She looked from me to Debbie and back. Debbie looked worried, because she had caught on too. I shrugged again and headed out of the bathroom. As I was leaving I heard Debbie say, "Here…uh…let me check." She paused and then, "Oh my gosh!" She said. I smiled to myself. Payback was sweet! After this little adventure I went and sat at the table and to idle chatter between the mothers.

Gina noticed me sitting by myself 10 minutes later and came rushing over to me. She grabbed my hands and pulled me up. "Come on! You're only 16 once!" She said quoting our mother's perfectly. Just as she said this "Saw Her Standing There" By the Beatles started to play. I went with her quickly to the dance floor and we started dancing. We danced and danced to our feet hurt, just the two of us. Of course we danced with other girls that we knew from school and such, but for the most part it was just her and I. When a slow song came on, Gina went to dance with Andy and I scooted to the bathroom each time. I had a pretty good idea of when a slow song was going to play and this way I could avoid Adam and his talk of LOVE!

But one time I was not so lucky to escape. Just as the song started to play I scooted off to the bathroom. I had just passed the last table when a hand grabbed my wrist. I groaned and rolled my eyes. I had been successful so far in avoiding him. I inhaled deeply and turned to him ready to rolls my eyes and complain. But when I looked into blue eyes instead of brown I exhaled, shocked.

"Wanna dance?" Tad smiled at me smugly. I rolled my eyes and smiled back.

"Sure." I said. He led me to the floor, catching the smiles of older people and the jealous glares of the younger people. The perfect song came on just then and I smiled at him, knowing that he must have requested this song. Strangers In the Night by Frank Sinatra started to play and everyone coupled up and started to dance.

"So…You've been avoiding your boyfriend." He smiled down at me. "Why?"

"He's not my boyfriend." I said and he inhaled sharply, as if he was shocked.

"Well well…you are quite the mischevious one. First you are smoking with a complete stranger and then your kissing another behind the hall. My my…You defiantly aren't like the other girls." He laughed and I couldn't help but laugh too. From his perpective I must seem like a right tart. I could feel my cheeks heat up but I shrugged it off.

"If you must know, he kissed me! And You offered me the cigarette if I can recall."

"Yes but I didn't force you to take it. And I imagine he didn't force you to kiss him back either." He smiled down at me, a smile full of mischief. I laughed and nodded my head.

"Alright you caught me. I'm not like the other girls." I laughed.

"Good. Its about time we had a change around here." He said frankly. I laughed again. I couldn't help but laugh. His facial expressions amused me.

"So…Are you dating anyone?" I asked him. He looked weary at first, but then smiled. He brought one finger to his lip and smiled. "Alright you're secrets safe with me." I smiled.

"What about you, oh daring one?"

"No…not really." I shrugged, looking around the dance floor. I spotted Debbie and Dave, they were glued to each other. It was cute. Gina and Andy were off together and there was no sign of Heather which meant that she must've gone home. I spotted Adam, sitting at a table with Jake and Brad and he was scowling at me. I quickly looked away, back to Tad and pretended like nothing was wrong.

"What do you mean by not really?"

"Well…I have been writing a friend in the army. Obviously it wont go past friendship because, well he's in the army, but he is an extremely good dancer and seems to know me very well." I sighed remembering that day at Di's diner. It seemed like years ago, as apposed to two weeks.

"Well…you don't know that it won't go anywhere. The war will be over soon and then you can see what happens after that." He said with encouragement. I smiled and nodded.

"How do you know that the war will be over soon?" I asked.

"I just have a feeling. I mean look at all the troops that we have over there. It's bound to make somewhat of a difference." I nodded to make it seem like I agreed with him, but I really didn't. Sure we sent over troops by the thousands, but the lists that were sent back were just as lengthy. Boys were being killed left and right and no matter how many there were it wouldn't make a difference. All of a sudden I felt glum.

"Don't fret for your loved one Susanna. He'll be fine, just like the rest of them." He said more to himself than to me. I looked into the face of my new friend and saw fear and sadness. Just like the rest of us the rich and famous were concerned as well.

When the song ended, Tad bowed to me, kissed my hand and left me standing in the middle of the dance floor. But it wasn't long that I was by myself before Adam was at my side.

"What was that all about?" He said, jealousy practically oozing out of his voice. I smiled after Tad and shrugged.

"It was just a dance." I said. I turned to him and smiled, which I knew would make him smile back. Then out of no where I yawned. I was all of a sudden so tired. I mean it had been a big day for me. He looked down at me with amusement. It was a look that you would give a child.

"Apparently you're tired." He said. I nodded, noticing for the first time how heavy my eyes felt and how tired my legs were.

"I think its time for me to go home." I said.

"Here I'll drive you." He said.

"No, no it's ok." I held up my hands and he looked taken back. A look of pain passed over his face and he sulked. I reached out and touched his arm gently. "It was kind of you to ask, but I don't have a key to get into my house." I lied, but I could see that it made him feel better. He nodded to me, smiled sweetly and kissed my cheek lightly.

"I'll see you soon?" He said it more as a question and I nodded once. I left him smiling at me, and went to tell Mom and Papa that it was time to leave.


	13. The Red '66 LeSaber Buick

"He really said that to you?" Debbie sat on the edge of my bed in her yellow night gown. Her once perfectly curly hair was now a poof of curls on her head and her eyes were puffy, yet twinkled with happiness.

"Yes he really told me that he loved me. Can you believe it?" I laughed with disbelief. Now it just seemed like a weird dream.

"Wow I can't believe it." She said in wonderment and amusement. She had loved the fact that Adam, big, strong, mean Adam had a soft side to him that only I seemed to bring out. She had killed herself laughing. She laughed so loud that Mom called up the stairs and told us to keep it down, or we might wake the neighbours. This only made us laugh more, seeing as it was after 10 o'clock in the morning and most of the neighbour's were awake.

"Yes it was an eventful evening that's for sure. I mean first there was the letter and then Tad-"

"The letter! That's right! Can I read it?" She popped up onto her knees looking hopeful.

"No!" I shrieked, but she didn't listen. She bounced off my bed and raced over to my vanity. She opened the top drawer and pulled out the tiny envelopes. I had tied a blue ribbon around it to keep them organized. Debbie flashed me a devious smile and I could feel my cheeks heat up. I covered my face and groaned. She was very quiet and I knew she was reading it. I waited and waited and waited. I waited for what seemed like forever before I looked up to see what she was doing. She was staring at me, with a smile on her face.

"Don't look at me like that!" I whined and hid my face again.

"This is my favorite part…ahem." She cleared her throat and I groaned. "I just want to see your face…one more time…and then I would be set to go off to war!" Debbie said dramatically. I groaned again, yet still found it amusing.

"No! NO! This is my favorite part…It makes all the guys jealous when I get a letter every DAY and they get one once a week!" She laughed out loud at this and I hid my face under a pillow.

"What are we doing?" Gina said from the doorway of my bedroom. At the sound of her voice I poked my head out from under the pillow. I smiled at her.

"We're reading Susie's letters from _Jesse_!" She sang out his voice and my face heated all over again.

"Oh…sounds like fun!" Gina said and she sat on my bed.

"Did you know that Susie here sends Jesse a letter EVERY DAY?" Debbie teased. I pouted playfully at her and Gina laughed out loud.

"You don't?" She said to me and I nodded, continuing my pout. She laughed even louder.

"I didn't realize I wrote that much until he said it." I defended.

"What do you talk about?" Gina asked me.

"Well..."Debbie spoke up. "They've talked about me." She said proudly. "He called me Notorious! Me!" Gina smiled at her. "I think I like him already."

"He was very cute." Gina admitted. Debbie and I nodded in sync and we all shared a smile. "So do you think you'll marry him?" She asked me with a wink. I was shocked at this thought. I mean its not that I had never thought of it, but we barely knew each other and people were curious if we would end up together.

"Who knows…" I shrugged and played with the lace on my comforter.

"Yea, I mean Adam might beat Jesse to it." My head shot up at the sound of Adam's name and I saw the look of curiosity on Gina's face. She looked at Debbie then at me and I shrunk. I tossed the blanket over my head and fell back onto my pillow.

"Adam told her that he loves her and he wants to be with her for the rest of his life…" Debbie said. Even though I couldn't see her I knew what her expression was like just from her voice. She would be smiling that mischievous smirk that she had since a small child and she would give Gina a wink that hinted to something a little bit cheeky. All of a sudden the sheets were pulled down from my face and Gina's face appeared.

"He asked you to marry him?" She looked shocked.

"No. He just said he loved me. And some more stuff."

"Like what?" Debbie was back on the bed again.

"Like how he always thinks about me and how he hasn't dated any one else since me. It was really weird! Seriously!"

"Wow, Andy never tells me that he loves me." Gina sulked.

"Yea neither does Dave." We both looked at Debbie shocked. "Although we just started seeing each other." She recovered and we laughed.

"Honestly ladies, its Adam. That is not even close to a compliment." I sighed. "Its just his way of trying to get what he wants and the sooner he realizes that it's not going to happen the better." I said with a stern tone. It seemed to dull the laughter. We sat quietly around the bed and just looked at each other. Mom broke the silence when she peeked in the doorway.

"Um, ladies its 11 o'clock. I think it's about time you got ready. Please." She said it with a smile but both Debbie and I got up from my bed. Gina went to wait for us downstairs. We were going to go out to town and maybe see a movie, seeing as we both had the day off.

Debbie took longer to get ready because of her out of control curls, but I managed to get dressed in my white skirt and pink blouse, accessorized with a pastel blue scarf, a blue lace bow and my white tennis shoes, in under half an hour. I put my hair in a pony tail curling my hair into one big curl and put on some mascara and a little bit of pink lip stick.

Debbie came down in her house coat looking glum. Gina and I sat at the table reading my mother's latest edition of Life Magazine, when she came into the kitchen. I looked at her and frowned. She reached into the cupboard and pulled out a bottle of asprin.

"What's up?" I asked. She looked over to me and clutched her stomach. I nodded with understanding and felt bad for her. 30 minutes ago she was fine.

"So your not going to come out with us then?" Gina asked, clearly catching on to Debbie's situation.

"No…I cant stand to walk around with this pain!" She said dramatically. I rolled my eyes slightly. I men every girl gets it, and life goes on. You cant dwell on the pain and that was one thing, about Debbie, that bothered me. Debbie liked to dwell on EVERYTHING!

"Well that's too bad. We'll bring you back something if you want. Like a chocolate bar or something?" I said trying to cheer her up. She did look very pale. She nodded and smiled, gave a wave to Gina and headed back upstairs.

"Looks like its just you and me kid!" Gina said getting up from the table and grabbing her purse. "Mom gave me the car today." She smiled and flashed the set of keys at me.

"Really? I didn't know you got you're liscence!" I said admiring her new key chain.

"I got it last Wednesday. I didn't tell you for this reason of course! So lets go!" She said with much enthusiasm. I kissed Mom and Papa good bye and told them I would be home later. We got in her mother's red '66 LeSaber Buick. It was amazing. The top came off of it and let the wind run through your hair. This was the best car!

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We drove into town and parked in a mall parking lot. She locked the doors and we, happily, skipped into the stores. We went into many little stores and tried on different things, like hats and dresses and even pajamas. As we were walking we spotted a men's clothing store. Gina looked at me and then at the store.

"Come on." She grabbed my hand and pulled me into the store.

"What would I need in a Men's clothing store?" I whispered, uncomfortably, as we entered the store.

"You can buy something for Jesse here." She said.

"Why would I buy Jesse anything?" I asked, looking around at the different things.

"Because, silly he's a solider going off to war and he needs something to remind him of you. Even if it's a pair of mittens! I mean come on. Haven't you read Gone With the Wind?" She looked at me incredulously as she picked up a wool toque.

"I have but what does Gone With the Wind have to do with Jesse?" I asked, picking up a woolen scarf.

"Remember how Melanie makes Ashley the coat and he saves it barely making a scratch on it?" She moved on to the coats now.

"As I recall, Melanie gets it made by a tailor she doesn't make it herself." I said.

"It doesn't matter! It's the fact that she gave it to him so her cherished it and didn't ruin it!"

"Gina, I'm not getting Jesse a present." I laughed at her persistence.

"Fine." She sighed. "You can help me pick out a gift for Andy. It's our one year anniversary on Friday." She smiled brightly. I nodded trying to not to look like I knew more than she did about what was going to happen that day. I went over to the mittens again, while Gina inquired about the dress shirts. I picked up a pair of blue mittens, made of wool and soft yet thick. I put my hands in them and imagined that Jesse was wearing them. I jumped when Gina popped up next to me.

"Gonna buy them for him?" She smiled.

"No, I was just thinking that they are very warm. I might buy a pair for myself." I laughed as did Gina, because they were three sizes too big for my tiny hands.

We left the store and walked around the mall a little bit longer. Gina bought a pair of shoes to match her red dress that she was going to wear on Friday and I bought a new night gown. It was a light pink that fell just past my knees. It had white lace around the bottom and the sleeves were short and also had white lace. It had buttons on the front that came to the middle of my chest, to make it easier for my head to fit. I loved it as soon as I saw it and it would keep my cool for the upcoming summer nights.

We laughed as we walked back to Gina's car. It was very noticeable, it being the only one in our small town of Monroe. It made me feel special just to sit in it. When we got to the car though there was a group of people surrounding it, majority of them were boys. Gina and I exchanged glances and then smiled. He straightened our posture and walked right through the crowd. The boys were shocked, and the girls were jealous.

"Is this your car?" One boy asked. Gina smiled broadly and nodded at him as she unlocked the door and we jumped in.

"Wow! It's amazing. Looks brand new!" Another boy stated.

"What year is it?"

"How fast does it go?"

"What's it like to drive it?"

All these questions hit us a mile a minute, people were just that curious about the car. Gina smiled, but was starting to look uncomfortable, especially when one boy asked to drive it. She smiled poiletly but shook her head.

"Sorry." She said, with a shrug. "I don't want to damage it." The guy pouted for a second but then smiled. He knew that if he had a car like this he wouldn't let anyone else drive it either. We pulled out of the parking space with a crowd of admiring faces watching to see how it drove. We kept our cool smiles on our faces and put on our white sunglasses to make us look even better. We got about half way down the road when we both exhaled.

"How nerve racking was that?" She said and I nodded in agreement.

"It was a bit uncomfortable. I mean all those questions!"

"And that guy! Actually having the nerve to ask ME to drive MY car!"

"Well…your mom's car." I added with a smile. She frowned at me, but then she smiled too.

"What they didn't know wont hurt them." She said sticking her nose in the air like we did when we imitated someone who had a rotten attitude.

"It is a nice car though. I mean it's so comfortable…" I said feeling the seat with my hands.

"And the stereo is groovy!" At this Gina turned on the stereo and You Can't Hurry Love by the Supremes came on the radio. I shrieked.

"I LOVE THIS SONG!" I said turning up the volume as high as it would go. It caused a couple of people to look over at us, some smiled and some just turned away like it was nothing abnormal. I started dancing, to the best of my ability, in the front seat and of course I sang along.

"What song is this?" Gina asked and I looked at her shocked.

"You've never heard this song before?"

"Obviously not, if I'm asking you what song it is." She said laughing.

"It's called Can't Hurry Love. Its by the Supremes." I said and she looked at me with a blank stare. "You know who the Supreme's are Gina."

"I know. I just don't know this song." She shrugged.

"Well it's good." I shouted and started to sing again. Gina laughed at me and continued down the road. Our next stop was going to be the movies. We were a street away from the theater when the worst happened.

Hold Me Tight by the Beatles came on the radio and we screamed. Both Gina and I loved this song and would constantly sing it as we walked down the hallways at school, sometimes singing it, like fools, to the boys that passed by. So naturally when the song came on we both started singing and bobbing our heads, moving our arms to the music. We never thought anything of it because it was so much fun.

But as it came to the middle of the song tragedy struck. All I remember hearing was…_It's You, You, You, You!_ And then everything faded away…into darkness. Maybe Gina's red '66 LeSaber Buick wasn't so amazing after all.


	14. The Hospital

I awoke from my dark world with groggy heaviness in my head. There were bright lights and shapes moving back and forth, back and forth. As I followed the moving shapes with my eyes and tried to make out what the shapes were I got a wave of nausea and quickly shut my eyes. I didn't need to look at the moving shapes. Something would clear up soon. As I became more conscious, I began to feel heavy and sore. My head was throbbing, my ribs ached everytime I took a breath so I tried to hold my breath for as long as I could, but I found that it was a lot harder to do than I thought. I felt something grip my hand, and hold on to it tightly. Then in the background someone was saying, _Hold on Susie…it's going to be ok. There here now…Hold on._ After that I drifted back into my dark, hazy world.

The next time I awoke I could see a little better. I didn't feel nauseous anymore and I felt calm; pain free. I opened my eyes slowly and all I saw was pink. I closed my eyes again and just listened. Everything was so quiet. I could hear a phone ringing in the background, a woman's voice loud and echoing and a beeping; a slow and constant beeping sound almost directly beside me. I opened my eyes when I realized where I was and this time I could focus on things. I was in a hospital, but I had no idea why. I looked around the room. The sun was just starting to set and the room had a pink tinge to its white walls. The room was empty of people, apart from myself, which made me even more confused. I tried to sit up to get a better look around the room, but when I leaned on my right arm to help me a stabbing pain shot through my arm and into my chest. I collapsed from the pain and was too afraid to try again.

I felt tears start to fill my eyes as confusion and worry took over my brain. I couldn't remember a single thing. Why was I in the hospital? Why did I hurt so much? Where was my Mom and Papa? What Happened to me? Just as one tear fell from down my cheek Mom came into the room. She looked very tired. She had no make up on and her hair was flat and poker straight. I had never seen her like this before. She looked desperate and sad, as she studied the cover to her Life magazine. She sat in a chair beside my bed and looked at me. It took her a second before she realized that I was awake but when she did she jumped up and called for a doctor.

"Oh Susie! Oh my Poor Susie!" She sighed, tears pouring down her face. She came and sat beside me on the bed and held my hand tightly, for she was too afraid to touch any other part of me.

"M-Mom? Why am I at the hospital?" I asked, my voice was dry and raspy and my throat ached.

"Oh Susie. You don't remember?" I shook my head and she brushed back strands of hair from my face. "Well, honey…you see. You and Gina were…in an accident." I looked at her puzzled. I mean, how could Gina and I gotten into an accident we were perfectly fine, singing away. I never saw any sign of danger or anything.

"But…" I frowned at her, I could feel myself start to panic. There was so much that I didn't know or couldn't remember.

"Sh…Honey the doctors here. He's going to check you and make sure you're alrght." She left my side and a tall bald man took her place. His round glasses hung on his nose and a gray mustache wiggled when he sniffed. He shone a light in my right eye, then my left and asked me some questions like what my name was, or what my address was. After I aced all the questions he nodded to mom and she came back to sit with me.

"Mom, is Gina ok?" I was afraid to find out the answer to this. If I couldn't remember anything then it must've been bad and if it was bad then there was a chance that Gina might be…

"She's fine Honey. She just got a couple of bruises and a broken arm. It was you who got the worst of it." She sighed.

"What happened?"

"Well, dear, I only know what Gina told me…that you were singing to the beatles and then a car hit you. It hit on your side and spun the car around. You…You crashed into a tree dear." She said, tears filling her eyes again. "A branch landed on you when you hit it and gave you a concussion, and put you into a coma."

"A COMA?" I would have sat upright at that moment if I could, but I didn't dare try it.

"Yes dear. At least that's what the doctor called it. You're brain put you're body in sleep mode because it had been through a huge shock. It needed to regain it's strength. They told us that you…" She started to sob now and covered her face. I felt so guilty. I had obviously caused her a lot of pain for however long I was out for. How long was I out for?

"Mom, how long was I in this coma for?" I clenched her skirt tightly and she wiped her tears away.

"A week dear. 6 days and 4 hours to be exact." She smiled slightly at the fact that she had counted each hour I was asleep for. I frowned at her and wished I could have taken it all back.

"I'm so sorry Mom. I didn't mean to-" Mom interrupted me by putting a finger to my lips.

"Hush Baby. Don't worry. It was an accident and for a while we were scared but, you'll be fine now. You'll see. You need to sleep though." As she said the word sleep, a yawn crept out.

"Where's Debbie and Papa?"

"They went home. I'm going to call them, but they wont be able to visit till tomorrow. Visiting hours are ending."

"Mom, you're not going to leave are you?" I held on to her skirt for dear life. I was all of a sudden afraid to be by myself. I needed my Mom to be close to me, to know that I had someone who would take care of me and be there when I woke up. She smiled down at me, her eyes filled with pity.

"Not if you don't want me too dear." She said brushing my hair back again. I pressed my face into her hand and sighed. I let the tears fall, after holding them in for so long.

"Hush now baby. Don't cry." She got up and walked around the bed. There was more room on the left side and she laid down beside me. As best as I could I turned towards her and rested my head on her chest. I feel back asleep listening to the sound of her heart beat and feeling her fingers running through my hair.

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"Well sis. You did it again!" Debbie said with a smile on her face. She sat at the end of my bed, her hair was still damp from when she washed this morning and she was wearing an old skirt and t-shirt.

"Did what?" I asked. I was able to view things a lot better now, because Papa had brought some pillows from home and propped me up to see everything.

"You caused chaos in the house once again! I mean seriously. Do you always have to be center of attention?" I laughed at Debbie's joke, which made my sides ache. She smiled at me, hugging her knees to her chest just watching me. After my laughter died down she looked very serious.

"What's wrong?" I asked, studying her face.

"You really scared us Sis."

"I know. I sorry Debbie."

"No I mean. I honestly thought I was going to lose you." Tears poured down her cheeks. I reached out for her to take my hand. She reached over and grabbed it. She pressed it to her face and cried some more. I didn't know what to say, so I just let her cry. It made me want to cry just watching her pain, but I realized that it was better for her to let it out than to keep it in, so I watched in silence. After 5 minutes she was finished. "Look at me, crying like a baby when your perfectly fine. I mean you have a couple of bruises and cracked ribs, but you'll be fine."

"You forgot my sprained wrist and cracked skull!"I joked back and she smiled.

"Cant forget those." She smiled. "OH!" She jumped off the bed, jostling the bed and causing me pain. "I almost forgot these." She reached into her purse and pulled out two envelopes. I knew what they were right when she pulled them out. When she handed them to me I shook with anxiety. I couldn't steady my hands long enough so I passed them back to her.

"Read them aloud to me." She looked at me shocked. "Please?"

"I don't know Sis. I mean there personal." She looked at the envelopes in her hands.

"I know you've been dying to read them." I laughed and she smiled brightly.

"Alright." She started opening the first one. "But if I get to any mushy stuff you're going to have to read it youself." I laughed because this made no sense. She would have to read it to find the next part of the letter that wasn't mushy. "Ahem…" She cleared her throat and smiled at me.

"Dear Susanna,

I have just found out the best news. I will be allowed to return home in two weeks. The exact date is August 20th. I also learned that Paul's girlfriend lives in Monroe and he says that if we put our funds together we can rent a room and bunk there. He says we should stay there for a week and then travel home to visit our parents for the last three days, because we get a total of 10 days "vacation".

I have to return to my group, so my letter is short. But I hope to see you when I return on the 20th and I hope all is well.

Yours truly, Jesse."

She finished reading the paper, looking it over one more time. I exhaled, realizing that I had been holding my breath. "That wasn't too bad." I said with a smile.

"Ya, not too bad at all."

"When did it come?" I asked.

"The day after the accident. Mom almost threw it out because well…you know. But I made her save it just in case." I smiled at her.

"Thank you." She shrugged. "Read the next one." I said before she could get upset again.

"Ok." She opened the next one. "Dear-" then she stopped. She read the next couple of lines and blushed as each sentence went on. I cringed only imagining what the letter could say that would make Debbie blush this much.

"What Debbie? Is it really mushy?" I said with some amusement in my voice. She shook her head and didn't look at me. "What is it Debbie? Tell me?" I said with a stern voice.

"Ok, but you cant be mad at me. Promise?" I studied her face carefully.

"What did you do Debbie?"

"Promise me!" She said, guilt was all over her face. I nodded, because I knew that was the only way she was going to tell me what she had done.

"Ok well, the thing is that…I um…"

"Debbie! Just tell me already!"

"Ok I wrote a letter to Jesse and told him."

"Told him what?" I could feel my heart beat quicken and anger was starting to pump through my blood.

"I'm sorry Sis. I didn't mean to, I just…I mean…I just wanted to keep him informed that's all."

"What does the letter say Debbie?" I sighed with frustration and relaxed my head back onto the pillow.

"It's to me." She whispered. I looked at her and motioned for her to continue. She cleared her throat nervously this time. "Dear Debbie, I was shocked to hear of Susanna's accident and I deeply appreciate that you wrote to me to tell me this. I cant even come close to describe how I feel about this. But I want you to know that I will still come and visit, even if the unthinkable happens. I know that Susanna will pull through this. I mean she must. She is so young and still has so much to do with it. So I don't think she will give up on herself. Have faith my new friend, she will pull through. My heart broke when I read those words that described her accident and her injuries, but it broke even more when I noticed the tear stains on the letter. I can't even imagine what you will be going through and so I send my deepest sympathies and will be there in two weeks to help in whatever way I can. For I have a secret I need to share and I think with you it will be safe. But my new friend, I think I am falling in love with you're sister and I need to be close with her in this time. So until my arrival, give her my love. Sincerely, Jesse."

She looked up at me and she studied my face. I was shocked yet delighted to hear that he loved me. I had never thought that our letters could bring us to love one another, but maybe with time we would grow closer. I looked at Debbie's panicked face and smiled.

"Thank you." I sighed and closed my eyes.

"You…you're not mad at me?" She asked. I shook my head, keeping my eyes closed, because I felt so tired all of a sudden. "Oh thank god! I thought for sure you were going to kill me." She gushed. I opened my eyes and lifted my head.

"No I'm not going to kill you for writing to him. But I will kill you if you don't let me go to sleep." I said and she closed her mouth. She kissed my cheek and left the room quietly, leaving me to sort through my feelings on whether or not what I felt for Jesse was truly love or just infatuation.

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Gina stopped by a couple of times, but when she looked at me, guilt flooded her face and tears filled her eyes. She never stayed longer than half an hour. She had told me the second day that she had gotten distracted and went right through a red light. A car had hit the side of us and we spun, like mother said into a tree. The force of the car hitting the tree was so powerful that a branch broke off the tree, scraping Gina's cheek and hitting me on the side of the head. She was stuck in the car, her side being stuck against the tree. She held my hand through the whole process of getting us rescued and when we finally were rescued she was taken to St. Ann's Hospital in Monroe while I was flown to St. Jude's Hospital in the city.

I was able to walk by my fourth day in the hospital and managed to make it to the bathroom on my own, without any help. While I was washing my hands I happened to look into the mirror that was above the sink. My heart sank. No wonder Gina couldn't look at my without feeling bad. I had dark purple bruises on my left eye and cheek bone and smaller yellow/green bruises on the right side of my forehead. Tears filled my eyes at the sight of my face, because this would take weeks to heal and Jesse was supposed to arrive next Saturday. I cried over that for a while, until Papa told me to stop crying and that I was beautiful with or without my bruises. He said more than that but that was pretty much the jest of it.

I was released from the hospital on the 15th and told to take things easy at home, not to busy myself to much and to make sure I got plenty of rest. But how could I have plenty of rest when Jesse was coming home in FIVE DAYS?


	15. Anticipation

The week passed by in a blur. Monday I spent the whole day in bed. Just leaving the hospital and going home had been exhausting enough for me. I was so tired from the commotion and the 45 minute drive that I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. Tuesday Mom told me to stay in bed. She made me breakfast in bed and made Papa go to the store and buy some magazine's to keep my occupied. When Mom went out to get groceries I ventured down the stairs. I thought I was the only one home and was rummaging through the fridge before I got caught by Papa. He smiled at me and allowed me to watch T.V with him. I got a small scolding from Mom when she got home, but I could tell that she was glad things were starting to get somewhat back to normal. Wednesday Mom took me to the beach and out for lunch just to get me out of the house, but by Wednesday I was pretty much back to normal. My ribs still hurt and I still had bruises but they were a yellow colour and I could hide them by the way I did my hair and a pair of big black framed sunglasses. Thursday came along and I was so jittery and anxious that I couldn't sit still. I cleaned my room and the bathroom, then walked to the store and got snacks and other things that I thought Jesse might eat for when he came to visit. By the time I got back home I was so tired that I fell asleep on the couch. Mom woke me for dinner and before I knew it, Friday was here.

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I woke up early on Friday morning. I had some last minute things before Jesse's bus arrived, which would be at 4 o'clock. Debbie had wanted me to write to him to tell him about my recovery, but I thought it would be a lot more fun if I surprised him at the station. Mom didn't think it would be a good idea if I went to the station, because she was still desperately worried about me. Luckily Debbie came to my rescue and she volunteered to walk with me to the bus station.

I went downstairs to get something to eat, and noticed that no one was awake yet. Or at least Mom wasn't awake yet, because the kitchen was cold and quiet. I frowned at the idea of having to make my own breakfast, but sucked it up and grabbed some bread from the bread basket beside the stove. I turned up the oven and placed the bread on the rack. After 2 minutes I reached into the oven and pulled out the bread. This is how we toasted our bread. Mom had asked for a toaster for Christmas last year but Papa said it was too expensive, seeing as it was $495.00 and that the oven worked fine. Instead he bought her a bottle of Madame Rochas perfume, which cost $70! So she was quite happy that Christmas.

I sat down to my bread and listened to the quiet house around me. The sun shone brightly through the curtains and made the whole kitchen bright and warm. There was movement upstairs, which gave me the thought to check the clock. In the living room over the fireplace was a golden clock, and it said 6:45. I groaned. I hadn't woken up this early since I was 10. Even for school I was always up after 7 and I knew as I ate my toast that I would be very tired later on tonight. I put my dishes in the sink and went back up stairs to get another couple minutes of sleep, to balance myself out.

I heard voices as I passed my mother's room, at the foot of the stairs. I would have kept going if I hadn't heard my name pass through the door. I froze and inched closer to the closed door.

"I don't like it Jack. I just don't like the way she is acting about this boy." Mom said to Papa.

"Oh Maureen, relax. It's just a crush. Besides you seemed to be alright with it a couple of days ago." Papa sighed. His voice got louder as he spoke and I knew he was getting ready for work.

"Just because I said I was ok with this didn't mean I actually was. I couldn't say anything to her, after…well after what we've just been through." Mom whined.

"I'm sure she'd understand. She's not a stupid girl." Papa said. He grunted, probably struggling with his big belly while putting his socks on. "Maureen, I think you need to let it go. Their just young kids. Nothing to worry about." He sighed.

"You and I married when I was 19, Jack. That's 2 years from now she could be married." Mom sounded genuinely concerned. The bed squeaked and I heard Papa exhale.

"You and I both know that if it were any other boy, you would be perfectly fine with this situation."

"No I wouldn't." Mom said stubbornly and I shook my head.

"Yes you would and you know it. It's because he's not…well…Times are changing Maureen. We are to accept them and not fight them."

"I have no idea what you are talking about!" Mom snapped. I could picture her, sitting up in bed, her brown hair in curlers, her arms crossed stubbornly over her chest and a pout on her lip.

"Yes you do. You are trying to keep things the way they are by not allowing our daughter to date a man of a different race." I covered my mouth, as the realization hit me.

"I…I…" but she couldn't answer because she knew that Papa had caught her. Papa sighed, with somewhat victory. I heard sounds of sniffling and I knew Mom had started to cry.

"Dear, it's only natural for you to be…concerned. I mean we grew up that way, but Susanna, and even Debbie are growing up in a different world than we did and we have to join the current instead of fight it." Papa never ceased to amaze me. His wisdom and the words he chose shocked almost anyone who would listen. I shook my head and left Papa consoling Mom out of her guilt.

As I passed by Debbie's room, she opened the door. She looked at me through sleepy eyes and gave me a groggy smile.

"Today's the big day." She said loudly. I grabbed her arm tightly and pulled her back into her bedroom. "Hey I gotta pee!" She said, but I closed the door gently behind me and put a finger to my lips. "What? What's the problem?" She whispered, looking more and more awake with each second.

"I was just listening to mom and Papa talking." Her eyes went wide with shock, then she smiled with pride. "Mom doesn't like Jesse because he's…well because he's not white, like us."

"What!" Debbie shrieked and I jumped on her, covering her mouth with my hand.

"Sh…I don't want them to know I was listening." I said and she nodded. She rubbed her mouth when I let go and sighed.

"How does she know that he's not white? What is he by the way?" She asked, tilting her head to the side, like a puppy does when he's curious.

"He's a human! That's all that matters." I snapped.

"Sorry, I was just curious as to his racial background." She rolled her eyes. "I mean I personally thought he was like Mexican or something in that general area, like Spanish maybe? I mean he looks Spanish-"

"Debbie, please." I had to stop her ramble, because who knew how long it would last for. "You're not seeing the big picture here."

"Sure I am…Mom is a little bit racist." She shrugged and I gaped at her.

"And you're fine with that?"

"No, but what can we do? I mean look at every other family in this stupid town…their all pretty much racist, well the parents at most. Some of the kids too. I mean just last week I saw Millie Johnson being picked on by-"

"Debbie!" I said a little louder and she flinched. I rolled my eyes and smirked. "What are we going to do? I mean what if she says something to Jesse?"

"She wont. She's too worried about her pride and how it would make her look to…wait how did mom find out that he wasn't white?"

"I…I don't know. I don't think I told her." I said racking my brain for a time when I had told her he was of Spanish decent. I gasped and put my hand to my mouth. "Someone must have told her."

"Like who?" Debbie asked, leaning closer to me, enjoying this little bit of drama.

"I don't…"It was like I was having an epiphany. "Mrs. Anderson."

"You don't know it was her."

"No, but I have a good feeling. I mean the way she acted that day at the post office, remember? She gave me this look, that I couldn't understand until now. She's the only one who would have motive to tell mom. She must've seen us in the park."

"What were you doing in the park?" Debbie smiled playfully, pulling me out of my train of thought. I smiled back and tossed a pillow at her.

"You need to stop thinking that way Debra Marie! That's un-lady like." I mimicked our Mother to a T!

"Well…its your fault. You can't just blurt out thoughts and not explain them."

"I just held his hand that's all."

"That's it? Just held his hand?" She looked somewhat disappointed.

"Well, we sat under a tree and talked. Then we went for Dinner at Di's Diner and we danced." Her face perked up as I recalled everything about our first date. "Then I walked him to the station. Nothing happened, so I couldn't see anyone else telling Mom. And besides Mrs. Anderson is the biggest racist I have ever met." I shook my head with disgust and Debbie agreed with me. We heard Mom and Papa's door open. I looked to Debbie and put my finger to my mouth. "Don't tell her that I told you!" I whispered and she crossed her heart. I waited till there were no sounds of people around before I left Debbie's room and scurried down the hall to my room.

Once in my room I opened up my wardrobe and searched for an outfit to wear. I found my favorite dress and bit my lip with excitement. It was light blue dress that had a dark blue tight bodice, with short sleeves that only covered my shoulders and a curved neckline that showed very modest cleavage. The bottom of the dress, was pleated with a nylon petticoat, that made the dress "pouf" out at my knees. To accompany the dress I had a matching short jacket, with sleeves that reached my elbows and dark blue buttons up the front. I would put that on when I left my room, for my mother's sake. I loved this dress and only wore it for special occasions and this was a special occasion. So naturally I pulled out my white satin gloves and size 6, pale blue, 2 inch high heeled shoes to go along with it. I looked at the outfit lying on my neatly made bed and smiled. This was going to be an amazing day!

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At 3:30 I was starting to panic. The whole day I had remained calm, mostly because Mom was in such a state about the house and having a guest over that I needed to be or else we would have a quarrel. I was constantly checking the clock and counting the hours until we could leave. At 1 o'clock I went for my bath and got myself ready. So by 2 I had nothing left to do. I paced my room and fiddled with my hair. I put on my Four Season's record and turned up the volume when Sherry started to play. I danced around my room and belted out the words to the song so loud. I found at the end of it, my butterflies had pretty much retreated to their nests and I was able to sit down and read for a little while. I was so caught up in the book that I completely forgot about the time. Luckily Debbie had been watching it and knocked on my door at 3:30. Then the butterflies came back.

I put on my jacket and gloves and raced downstairs, carrying my shoes in my hands, so I didn't have to worry about falling. If I was afraid of overdressing I wasn't anymore. Debbie was wearing a yellow dress that had short sleeves up to her shoulders and had a pouffed, pleated skirt like my with white gloves and shoes and Mom was wearing her best suit that actually resembled something that we had seen Jackie Kennedy wearing recently. It was a dark pink colour, with black buttons on the jacket and black stitching on the hem of the skirt. She wore black high heeled boots and her hair was fit to perfection. I smiled brightly at her and she smiled back . She held my face in her hands and looked over my yellow bruises, which I had done a pretty good job of hiding with a lot of make-up. She nodded at me and kissed my cheek softly.

"Be careful, you hear?" She said to me, worry filling her eyes.

"I will momma. My ribs are still sore, so there wont be much getting into trouble today." I smiled and she rolled her eyes.

"Their probably sore from all the dancing and singing you were doing up there." Debbie smirked from the front door. I felt my cheeks heat up and mom nodded, "I thought the roof was going to cave in." She teased.

"Huh! That's not very funny!" I said to both of them and they smiled back at me.

"Go on. When you get back, we'll have some supper." She said with a half smile. I waved to her and skipped out the door.

I linked my arm through Debbie's as we walked down the streets to the bus station. We smiled at people who passed by and greeted those who nodded to us and complimented our dresses. I could feel the anticipation of Jesse's visit, practically radiate off of Debbie. She had wanted to meet him from the first day I had told her about him and now she was going to get the chance.

"So, what are we going to do after he gets here?" She asked me.

"What do you mean?" I looked both ways before we crossed the street.

"I mean, like are we just going to go home after? Or are we going to go out for something to eat?" She said. I looked at her worried.

"I don't know. I never planned that far." I pouted and she burst our laughing. I smiled at her laughter, as did many around us.

"What's so funny Debbie?" I whined playfully.

"I love how you've known he was coming back for about a month now and you never planned to do anything with him." She burst out laughing again. By this point we had reached the bus station and it was crowded with people. They were spread out all along the stop, which wasn't that big.

"Was there this many people when you left him?" Debbie whispered to me. I shook my head and looked around at the familiar faces. If any one of these people had been there the night of departure then they could've seen our kiss and could've told my mom. I was so certain before that Mrs. Anderson had told them about Jesse and I, but as I looked around and spotted ladies from the church committee's and their families, I cringed.

"What's up?" Debbie said looking at me concerned. "Are you ok?"

"Yea…just…uncomfortable." I shrugged and she linked her arm back through mine, as if to give me support. We smiled to people that passed, some looked rather glum, some were crying with anticipation and a couple looked as if they might faint to wait any longer. But fortunately they only had to wait an extra ten minutes. The bus pulled around the corner and the crowd burst out in cheers and laughter.

I jumped up on my tip-toes and gasped at the pain from my tender ribs. Debbie took my que and stood on her tip-toes. The crowd was silent for a minute and then we heard the doors open and the crowd started again.

"Do you see him?" I asked clenching Debbie's hand. She didn't say anything, just kept scanning the crowd. A young man approached the couple in front of me and they greeted him with hugs and tears. Then they cleared away and left a space for me to see the door of the bus perfectly. A tanned blonde boy, with a strong jaw-line and piercing blue eyes got off the bus and pulled his bag onto his shoulder. He stood at the bottom of the steps waiting for something. He looked from side to side and then looked glum. He said something back up the stairs of the bus and then I saw him. I almost fainted when I saw him, but Debbie held me steady.

He stood at on the last step, searching the crowd for a familiar face. His skin was darker than usual, and his eyes were brighter. He smiled at the blonde man, who I assumed by this point must be Paul and nodded to the bus driver. He got off the bottom step and, like Paul pulled the bag closer to his body. He ran a hand over his now shaved head and turned to Paul to talk to him. He looked nervous, and so did Paul. I smiled at how cute their humility was.

"Do you see him?" She asked me excitedly. "Look Sis!" I smiled brightly, but felt shy and nervous. All the anticipation of him coming here and now that he was I was too nervous to go and see him. She pulled me forward, but I barely budged, something was stopping me. I needed him to see me first. I felt weird running out to him. But he wasn't looking. He didn't expect me to be here. "What are you doing?"

"I…I'm too nervous." I said backing away a bit.

"What! Don't be such a puss! Go and get'm sister!" Debbie laughed and pushed me forward, hurting my ribs, but it was nothing compared to my nerves. I could feel the vomit rising in my chest as I took another step closer. I took a deep breath and held my head high and kept walking. Then he turned and looked at me and I froze. I couldn't move, and neither could he. We just stood there staring at each other. And then, I smiled. I don't know what possessed me to do it, but I smiled and I smiled a big, teeth sparkling smile.

Next thing I knew he dropped his bag and raced towards me. It was like something I had seen in an Ingrid Bergman movie. He ran towards me, with a smile on my face and when he reached me he picked me up and twirled me around. I gasped slightly, but still smiled. He placed me down and cupped my face in his hands. He studied my face like he was trying to burn it into his memory. I stared back into his green eyes and just watched him. His thumb traced my right cheek and a look of worry and pity flashed over his face. I smiled brightly to show that it didn't bother me anymore and he smiled back. His eyes flickered to my lips and then back to my eyes. He lowered his head and kissed me, softly, and gently, his hands never leaving my face, mine never left his waist. But it was a kiss I would never forget. A kiss that confirmed just how we felt about each other. And that no matter how long he was gone for, time would only bring us closer together.


	16. Dinner With the Family

"How have you been?" Jesse asked me, holding my hand tightly in his right hand and his duffle in the other. Paul and Debbie were walking ahead talking lightly between them, giving us time to ourselves, yet leaving us chaperoned.

"Well, I was pretty bad a week or two ago." I shrugged.

"I know I heard. I'm so sorry that that happened to you." He said, his eyes barely leaving my face.

"I'm better now." I smiled at him and he kissed my forehead.

"So, what's the plan?" Debbie asked turning around and walking backwards. I rolled my eyes at her and she just smiled.

"Well…what did you have in mind?" Jesse asked and I shot Debbie a look that clearly said, "Say anything and you're toast!" So she kept her mouth closed and just shrugged. Paul stopped walking at the corner, catching Debbie before she fell off the curb and smiled at me.

"Oh, you're girlfriend lives here doesn't she?" I said and he nodded.

"She had to work today." He sighed.

"Well let's go and see her then. Where does she work?" I smiled.

"She works at Shannon's Hair Salon?" he said looking from Debbie to myself. "Do you know it?" He looked hopeful.

"Do we know it?" Debbie snorted.

"Of course! It's very popular around here. Always busy!" I smiled at him and he looked glad that we knew where we were going.

"Yea, she said she wouldn't be able to be here when I arrived but she would meet me later for dinner." He smiled and you couldn't help but notice his attractive qualities. He was very handsome. His teeth were perfectly straight and extra white. He blonde hair, though shaved short, was still golden giving him almost an angelic look. I knew Debbie thought he was cute by the way she acted. She was more outgoing around good looking boys, rather than shy, like I was.

"Well, Shannon's is just down the street from here." Debbie smiled. "Come on." She motioned for us to follow her and she skipped ahead. Paul was trailing close behind her.

"She's something isn't she?" I said to Jesse as we watched her flirt with Paul and wave to an older couple we saw frequently at church.

"She is very amusing." He nodded with a smile. "A lot like you in that sense."

"I'm not half as funny as she is. And she is a lot more outgoing than I am. I mean look at her. No matter who it is she'll go right up to them and talk and talk and talk like she doesn't have a care in the world." I said with admiration. I could tell Paul was trying desperately to keep up with Debbie's quick pace and rambling sentences.

"You seemed to talk to me quite alright that first day." He said, giving my hand a quick squeeze. I could feel my cheeks blush and I started to feel like maybe I talked to much that day. What if I rambled on and on like Debbie does? "You ok?" He looked at me worried, and brought me back to the real world.

"Yes, just thinking that's all." Paul and Debbie disappeared into a pink building and we picked up the pace to catch up with them. When we entered the salon, Paul and Debbie were waiting behind the big mahogany desk.

"She's gone to get the girlfriend." She whispered to me. Paul stood at the desk, his bag on the floor by his feet, fiddling with a pen while he waited. We heard a gasp and a shriek from the doorway into the salon and all looked up. Little Maria from school came rushing out and jumped on Paul all in one movement. Debbie stepped back a bit and smiled at me. It was a whole different side to Maria than what we had seen in school. Maria was about 5 ft 3 and was very shy. She had long brown curly hair that she always wore in a pony-tail and her dark brown eyes twinkled with mystery. She was one of the friendliest girls at our school.

"Oh Paul! I missed you so much! When did you get here? How was the bus ride?" She said all in one breath. He laughed at her and kissed her. It was an intimate moment and we all looked away, to give them a moment. We heard an "Oh my." And looked back. Maria had noticed us standing there and now looked embarrassed.

"Hey Maria." Debbie said, giving her a wave. Maria was in my classes, but knew Debbie through the choir at church. She smiled at Debbie, her cheeks a bright pink.

"I didn't even…I'm sorry." She said smoothing out her skirt.

"It's ok Maria." I said, giving her a reassuring smile.

"When can you get off?" Paul practically begged. She smiled sweetly and then frowned.

"I don't get off till 6." He pouted slightly. "But I have the next week off." She said happily. His face lit up like a Christmas tree.

"I'll be here!" He said. Just then Maria was called back into the Salon and we said our goodbyes. We waited outside for Paul, giving them a moment alone.

"That's so cute, don't you think Sis?" Debbie smiled. "I mean who would have thought that Little Maria…"She laughed.

"Yes they look good together." I said with a nod, one that I had copied from my mother.

When Paul came out he had a second wind. He looked like he could fly. I smiled at Jesse and he just rolled his eyes. It was cute to watch Paul offer his arm to Debbie and practically skip down the street with her.

"He really loves her huh?" I said watching him.

"Yes, he does." Jesse laughed. Debbie turned down our street and I panicked. It was now or never.

"Are you ready to meet my parents?" I looked up to Jesse and he studied my face. He thought about his answer for a second and then smiled.

"Are you ready to meet mine?" He asked. I gazed at him with curiosity. "I wrote home to them and might have told them about you. I hope that's ok." I nodded showing that it was fine, but I was screaming with nerves on the inside. "They want to meet you."

"How…how am I going to meet them?" I asked.

"That's the thing…I haven't exactly figured it out yet. But I will." He said confidently. I laughed and shook my head.

"Alright. You meet my parents, I'll meet yours." I stuck out my hand to make a deal.

"Deal!" He shook my hand and we both laughed.

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"Mom? We're home?" Debbie called from the front entrance. The house was completely spotless and there was a strong aroma of roast beef coming from the kitchen. Debbie and I exchanged smiles and took the boys' bags, placing them out of the way of traffic.

"I'm in the kitchen dear." Mom practically sang. Debbie turned around and looked at me with one eyebrow raised. I rolled my eyes and nodded for her to continue moving. The boys stood frozen at the front door. I laughed and Debbie crossed her arms over her chest.

"You can come in you know!" She laughed and they bent over to take off their shoes. I shook my head and continued on into the kitchen. I turned to make sure that they were following and then turned back to mom. She was humming while she mashed the potatoes. The table had a white table cloth on it with two yellow candles and was set for 5 people. I looked at Debbie nervously and she jumped out of her seat and got another plate, from Mom's good china, and cutlery for Paul's place.

" Mom, this is Jesse, and this is Paul, Jesse's friend." She turned away from the stove, wiping her hands on her apron she smiled at us. She looked over each boy quickly, her smile remaining on her face. Then she stuck out her hand and each one shook it.

"It's nice to have you over. Please sit down and we'll eat." She said with a swooping hand. When her back was turned I glanced at Debbie and she was staring at Mom like she had three heads. I covered my mouth so that I didn't laugh and sat at my normal place, beside Papa. Debbie sat beside me and the boys sat across from us. They looked so nervous, sitting there. Jesse I could understand but I couldn't understand why Paul was nervous.

"Where's Papa?" I asked.

"He'll be down in a moment. I told him to change so he wouldn't smell like ink from the factory." She said. Now this was normal Mom behavior. "Now boys, both of you like mashed potatoes I hope."

"Yes ma'am." Jesse said and Paul nodded. I could practically see their mouth's watering from here. It was amusing to watch. It was like they hadn't eaten in years.

"What do you guys eat out there?" Debbie asked, reading my mind, as usual.

"There pretty good meals." Jesse said with a shrug and Paul stared at him.

"Are you crazy? Their awful! We get rock solid porridge for breakfast, soggy sandwiches for lunch and cold, pretty much frozen vegetables with some dry meat for dinner. It's wretched." Paul complained.

"Then you might not want to eat here boys. The Mrs. can't cook very well." Papa said from the foot of the stairs. Debbie laughed out loud and stopped when she saw Mom swing around with the mixer in her hand.

"What were you saying dear?" She teased and he held up his hands.

"Nothing darling. Just talking about your wonderful cooking!" He said and cowered into his seat. Debbie and I exchanged smiles.

"Their only kidding." I whispered to them, because they looked terrified. It was going to be a long night the way these two were acting. The smiled and nodded.

"So boys, how long are you in town for?" Papa asked as if they were old friends.

"Just one week sir." Paul said.

"One week?" Mom said passing them their plates.

"Yes ma'am. We are visiting our families the last couple of days that we can."

"Oh?" If mom were a dog her ears would have perked up. "And where do you live?" She asked them, passing us our plates. Papa was the last one to get served, which was punishment for his teasing comments.

"Well I live in New York ma'am." Paul smiled.

"And I live in Maryland." Jesse folded his hands in his lap, looking intently at Mom. She finally sat down and we said grace. The boys, we all knew, would have dove into that meal and torn it to shreds, but they somehow managed to take their time and eat slowly. Never once did they speak with their mouths full or belch at the table like Papa did. Before we knew it dinner plates were taken away and dessert was being served. Mom had made apple crumble with some vanilla ice cream.

"So Jesse, Susanna tells me that you are an only child." Mom said, before taking a bite of her food.

"Yes, I had a sister, but she passed when she was younger." He said, playing with an apple on his plate. I shot mom a warning look and she shrugged an apology.

"Do you're parents have hired help on their farm?" Dad asked, trying to change the subject. Jesse shook his head, swallowed his food and then spoke.

"No, they just have me. They might have help now that I've been…um…helping them, but they didn't before." Jesse said. I could tell he was uncomfortable talking about this with my wealthy parents.

"Want to see a movie?" I asked completely changing the subject, hoping someone would help me. Jesse looked at me suddenly, he was confused by my change of conversation and I just stared back. He looked from one parent to the next and then nodded.

"I would love to." He smiled slightly and I could tell he wasn't being completely honest.

"You've got to see that new Elvis Presley movie." Mom said, with a dreamy look on her face. Both boys smiled at her.

"Mom fancies him!" Debbie said. Mom snapped out of it and frowned at Debbie.

"I don't fancy him." She whined and Papa, Debbie and I laughed out loud. "Fine I do fancy him. But honestly can you tell me that you don't?" She looked from Debbie to me and back.

"Are you kidding…He's a total babe!" Debbie said, causing me to choke on my last bit of crumble.

"Debra!" Mom said, with a slightly amused voice. Debbie shrugged and went back to her dessert. Papa patted me hard on the back, which caused me to cough even more, from the pain. Mom shot him a murderous look as I stood up and fled up the stairs to the bathroom. I shut the door and puked into the toilette. After flushing, I sat back and just waited for the pain to pass. But it wouldn't, and that was because I was shaking so much from the choking and then the vomiting. Mom knocked on the door and opened it.

"Are you alright honey?" She asked me.

"I will be in a couple of minutes." I sighed, trying to calm myself and she nodded. She came into the bathroom and closed the door behind her. She sat on the edge of the bathtub and played with my hair.

"He's a nice boy, Susie." Mom said. It took me a while to figure out what she was talking about but when she did I smiled at her brightly. "Now I still don't know him quite well, but I am sorry for being so hard on you about this. You're father talked some sense into me this morning." She rolled her eyes at the fact that Papa had a certain way with her that she could not fight.

"I just want you to like him Mom, that's all." I said, my shaking was fading and I stood up to brush my teeth.

"Well, I think I do. He almost came running up here after you." She laughed and I smiled. She kissed my head and looked at me in the mirror. "Just be careful, alright?" She looked sad all of a sudden and I frowned trying to figure her out. I nodded, seeing as I had a toothbrush in my mouth, and she smiled then left.

When I went back downstairs, Paul had his shoes on and Jesse was putting his on too. Debbie was at the sink with Papa doing dishes while mom cleared the rest of the table.

"Are you leaving?" I asked once I had reached them. Jesse looked at me worried, saw that I was ok and exhaled.

"I told Maria I would meet her at 6." Paul said. I looked at the clock and he still had 15 minutes. I was about to mention this when Jesse said, "We still have to check into the motel."

"Motel? I thought you were staying at a hotel?" I said. The thought of them staying at grubby motel gave me the shivers.

"It's just for a night or two." Jesse smiled at me.

"A friend of ours said we could stay at his house next week, because he's got the extra space." I nodded and looked down at my feet.

"I'll see you tomorrow." Jesse whispered to me, lifting my chin with his hand. I looked into those bright green eyes and smiled.

"Ok." I said. He kissed my forehead lightly and then called a thank you to Mom for dinner. She poked her head out suddenly, letting me know that she had been listening, and waved.

"Come back again tomorrow and I'll make Sheppard's pie!" She said enthusiastically.

"OK." Jesse smiled and waved again. He touched my cheek, smiled and then left. I watched him and Paul walk down the street, before going back inside to face my family's 1 million questions.


	17. Devious Ideas

That night I climbed into bed and laid back on the covers. I looked at the alarm clock beside my bed and it said 10:34. Gina would surely still be up now. I got out of bed and went to my vanity where my telephone was. It was the newest style, commonly called the Modern Telephone and it was a dark red colour. It had a long cord attached to the wall so I could carry it if I wanted to sit on my bed. I picked up the phone and dialed Gina's number.

"Hello?" She answered.

"Hi Gina! How are you?"

"Hi Susie. I'm ok." She answered. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing why?" I said sitting back in my chair and playing with the cord.

"You're calling me pretty late." I could pretty much see her roll her eyes. She hated when I didn't realize the obvious, which I tended to do. But I couldn't help to over think things; its just what I do.

"Oh right sorry. I…um…"

"Come on, tell me. Is it about _Jesse_?" She sang his voice in a teasing matter and I could feel my cheeks heat up.

"No, well yes, sort of." I sighed. "I need you're help with something.

"Ok, sure. What is it?" I sat back and smiled. I knew Gina would help me. I crossed my fingers and just hoped that it would work out all right.

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The next day Jesse arrived at 12 o'clock. I knew he would have came sooner, but he didn't want to disturb my parents from their Saturday morning rituals. When he came to the door, Papa was terrorizing Debbie and I with this weeks' newspapers. I groaned when he pulled out the Saturday edition, after going through the Monday, Wednesday and Friday paper. When the doorbell rang, Debbie and I both saw it as an opportunity for our Escape Papa Plan. But Debbie was always out of her seat before me. She raced to the door and Papa leaned over to me. Mom sat at the other end, writing out a letter to Grandma, and gave me a smile over her glasses. Mom wrote to Grandma, because she refused to use a phone, which made Mom groan and Papa start a debate on how useful technology was these days.

"See here." Papa pointed to the paper. "We had originally put an article about the war here, but I thought it would be better to put it on the front page. You know-"

"To catch the reader's attention. Papa, I know." I sighed and he turned to the next page, completely ignoring my obvious disinterest.

"Now this page-"

"Look who's here!" Debbie said from the entrance to the kitchen. We all looked up and saw Jesse standing there. I smiled at him and then took in his outfit. Instead of his army greens, which he had to wear for the past month, he was wearing Dark Blue Jeans and a black sweater that buttoned up on the front. But his sweater was open, showing a white t-shirt and his sleeves were pushed up to his elbows. What really caught my attention at how enhanced his muscles had gotten since he went away to the army. He was huge! I had to force myself to look away.

"Hi." I smiled brightly and he smiled back.

"Oh Jesse! Nice to see you." Papa said. "Would you like to join us? We're just going over the weekly papers." He said with a proud smile.

"NO!" I said jumping up and Papa looked shocked. "I mean, no we're going out. Sorry Papa." I smiled slightly and he sighed, shaking his head. Mom smiled behind her letter and dared not look at him, in case she let out her laughter.

"We're are you going?" Debbie asked, looking hopeful. I felt bad for her, because she was going to be stuck in the house, but I really didn't want to take her out with us.

"Um, well…we're going to see a movie, maybe get some lunch after." I said looking at him to see if he was up to it and he nodded that it was fine with him.

"Oh." Debbie looked down at her hands.

"Do you want to come with us?" Jesse asked her. She looked brightly at him and then at me and the look on my face must've told her that she wasn't wanted, because her smile faided slightly.

"No, that's ok." Debbie shrugged.

"Are you sure?" I asked her, to show that I wouldn't really mind, although I would.

"Debbie, you said you would help me with the groceries anyways dear." Mom said. If even possible, Debbie sulked a little more.

"Oh yea." She rolled her eyes and sat at the table. Papa leaned over to her and she held up a hand. "No Papa, I don't want to know." She snapped. He looked at her like she had just told him that she was pregnant.

"Debra Marie! Don't you dare talk to me that way!" He started to shout. I could see another one of their father/daughter fights coming.

"Ok, we're leaving now. Bye." I waved and pushed Jesse out the door as she shouting started. I heard Mom say goodbye somewhere between the shouts. I shook my head and closed the solid wood door behind me. Jesse just stood there, not saying anything. He looked like he could laugh, but I knew that he wouldn't.

"Sorry about them."

"She's got quite a short fuse." He nodded to the house and I sighed and nodded back.

"Yes she does. Especially when things don't go the way she wants them too. Plus Papa's been bothering us all morning about that silly paper of his."

"He write that paper?" Jesse looked shocked.

"No, he edits it." I rolled my eyes, but Jesse looked impressed. "Don't get him talking about it, because then he wont stop!"

"So what's the real plan?" Jesse smiled down at me.

"Well what would _you_ like to do?" I smiled up at him. He looked at me over and then looked back at my face, which made me blush slightly.

"I don't know." He shrugged and I could feel his finger trace one of the pleats in my pink skirt.

"Well that's not very helpful." I said turning to face him and smiled brightly. He smiled back and took one of my hands.

"Lets go to the pier."

"The pier? Why?"

"Because…it's like, our place." He shrugged and I smiled.

"Ok."

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"So, I have a plan." I said when we sat down, an ice cream in our hands.

"Oh yea? What's that?" He said, licking his vanilla ice cream.

"It's about how I am going to meet your parents." I said and watched him carefully. He didn't really display any emotion. He was concentrating on his melting ice cream. He looked at me when he realized that I had said something. He blinked and then smiled.

"Sorry what did you say?" I shook my head and smiled.

"I figured out a way that I can go with you to your house. To meet you're family, remember?" I nudged him and he nodded.

"How are you going to do that?"

"I asked Gina for a favour."

"Gina? She's the redhead right?"

"Yes." I nodded, licking the melting ice cream off the cone. It was hot outside and the ice cream was melting very quickly.

"What is this plan?" He looked at me intrigued.

"Well…don't think badly of me, but I asked her if she could…well, I'm going to go home later tonight, after we visit Gina, and tell my mother that Gina's aunt asked us to go and visit her."

"Is Gina coming to my house too?" He looked somewhat uneasy.

"No, no. I'm going to pretend that we're at her aunt's. Because if I said I was staying at her house, mom would wonder why I would be there for so long. That was the only thing that we could think of." I shrugged.

"So, what day are you planning on leaving?" He watched a couple of kids chase after the birds.

"Well, what day did you want to go and visit you're family?" I asked him.

"Well, I was going to go and spend a day or so with them, so I could spend more time with you, but if you're coming too, then we could leave earlier."

"We can't tell my mother that you're leaving at the same time. You're going to have to lie to them as well." He looked at me with a scared expression. "Don't worry its not hard. Although I don't do it very often." He still didn't look convinced. "Fine I'll tell them that you're still going to be here if the topic comes up." He nodded his head and I rolled my eyes.

"What are we going to tell you're parents?" I said, the idea just occurring to me.

"What do you mean?" He said finishing off his cone. I looked at him shocked.

"I mean about me staying at you're house. Wont they want to know why I'm there?" I asked.

"No. As long as they think you're parents know then they'll welcome you into their house?"

"Really?" He nodded with a fond smile. "There different from parents around here." I sighed.

"Yea…they're foreign."

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We sat by the pier for an hour and then decided to go to visit Gina, like I had originally planned. We got to Di's diner and it was packed, especially for a Saturday. We sat in a booth close to the one we sat in last time, and looked around the place. Gina was running around like a chicken with it's head cut off. She was taking orders and delievering food faster than I could at Sue's.

She came up to us, spotted me and then smiled brightly at Jesse. "Hello. Remember me?" She sang. He smiled and laughed.

"Of course. It's not everyday you meet someone with red hair like yours." He said. Gina pouted and then looked at her red pigtail.

"Yes I suppose it does make me memorable." She shrugged. "Trust you to pick my busiest time to visit." She said to me and I shrugged.

"I didn't know it was this busy!" I defended.

"Yes well, I don't have that much time for talk, but I think our plan should work. I told mother that you might stay over a couple of nights next week."

"But what if I'm not there wont she notice?" But even as I said the words I knew she wouldn't be around long enough to notice. It was Gina's father that would notice, but he wouldn't say anything. So I was safe.

"I hope you appreciate what my girl here is doing for you!" Gina said to Jesse and he looked shocked. Then she smiled showing that she was joking and he nodded.

"I do. I really do appreciate what you b_oth_ are doing. You'll like my parents I promise." He said with a genuine smile and I knew that I would like them.

"So what can I get you?" She said and we both ordered a Coca-Cola. "Ok, be back in a jiff." She smiled and skipped away. I looked around the restaurant and spotted Dave by the washrooms.

"I'll be right back." I said with a smile and left him alone. I walked in the direction of the bathroom, but stopped when I got close to Dave. "My sister's at home in case you're curious." I said under my breath. He jumped at the sound of my voice and smiled brightly.

"I was thinking about calling her, but I didn't want…I um…wasn't sure how to call there and ask for her."

"Just ask if she would like to go out. My mother already knows." I said with a smile. He blushed.

"Is that because of the dance?" He asked and I nodded. He blushed even more and I laughed.

"Oh Dave don't worry. They're not going to become angry because you fancy her." I said, touching his arm gently. He smiled at me and then nodded.

"Ok. I'll go and call her now." He said. "Thanks." I smiled again and went into the bathroom. I checked my appearance, smoothed out my pink skirt, white blouse and rearranged my pink scarf before I left the bathroom.

"Who was that guy?" Jesse asked me when I got back to the table.

"Who Dave?" I chose to ignore the frown in his eyebrows. "Oh that's my sisters beau. He's cute. He was too afraid to call the house." I said with a laugh watching Dave. He walked over to the cash register, paid for something and then went back to his table. I groaned when I spotted Adam at his table. He was looking right at me and had a glare to his stare. I looked away quickly, but my actions did not go unnoticed.

"What is it?"Jesse asked leaning closer.

"Oh, nothing. Just that boy, from the dance remember? I wrote to you?"

"Adam right?" Jesse said with a snarl. "Is he here?"

"Yes." Jesse looked over his shoulder at all the tables. He spotted him of course, because Adam's staring was very obvious. I gabbed his arm and tugged slightly. "Don't stare." I begged.

"Why? He's staring just as much." Jesse said turning back to me.

"Because I don't want to start anything." I sighed. He shook his head. "Just don't say anything to him. Please?"

"I wont say anything, but I'm not going to not hold you're hand and ask you to dance just because he's here." Jesse said standing up and pulling me along with him. There were other couples on the dance floor. Jesse twirled me and then pulled me close.

"This probably is just going to make things worse." I said, guilt completely filled my stomach. It seemed like yesterday I was dancing with Adam and then he told me that he loved me.

"No, this would make things worse." He said with a smirk. Then before I could think he bent forward and kissed me. I would have backed away, but I mean it was Jesse not Adam! His hand, on my lower back, pushed me closer to him and he deepened the kiss. His lips were soft and they moved in sync with mine. It was…magical. My knees felt like jell-o when he pulled away, after what felt like hours, when yet it was only seconds.

"I can't believe you did that!" I said, my words were shaky and I clung to him for fear of fainting. He laughed into my hair and continued dancing. No one else had noticed that we had kissed, it was like it never happened. Except that Adam was out of his seat and his friend's were holding his arms. Dave pushed him back into the booth and was talking to him calmly. He would never forgive me for this. I thought about this and then I laughed. Why did I care? After all it was only Adam! I had never cared before he told me how he really felt about me, why should I care now? I took my mind off of him and concentrated on Jesse.


	18. Deception

The week flew by in a whirlwind. It was fast and painful; the painful part being my healing body. Jesse arrived right on time for the Monroe Summer Fair, which always came the second week of August. It was full of fast rides and more cotton candy than you could imagine. The Summer Fair was always packed with people and Mom thought it would be a good idea for the FIVE of us to go out and enjoy it…together. As it turned out, Dave was there so Debbie disappeared with him; Mom met up with some of the church ladies (Adam's mother included) and went off with them. Papa looked at Jesse and me, kissed my head and said he would be back at 7:00 to see the fireworks with us, and went home. Which left Jesse and myself to go on all the rides alone. And we went on ALL the rides. Jesse insisted that we do everyone, even after he threw up, his hot dog, in the bathroom. So my ribs were a little bit sore the next day.

But that didn't stop Jesse. The next day, after talking with Andy, they took Gina and me out for a drive to the country. It was a long and bumpy ride and Gina and I were so tense with fear, from the accident. We were squished together in the back seat and were stuck listening to the two boys talk about which sport was better, Soccer or Football. I rolled my eyes at them while Gina laughed. When they stopped, there was a picnic blanket and basket in the boot of the car and we ate under a big willow tree. Andy fell asleep under the tree and the three of us sat around talking about Jesse's training.

The next couple of days were shopping days. Mom got so attached to him that she started to buy him things. Not expensive things, but things none the less. She bought him a new toothbrush and toothpaste, a couple of plain white t-shirts that were too small and that made his muscles look that much better. She bought him more writing paper and envelopes, in hopes that he would continue writing "us" and a couple of new pens, which I knew he would lose the moment he got there. Jesse was so grateful for her generosity that he tried to talk me out of our plan. I just laughed at him and told him not to be ridiculous. She was never going to find out.

The day that Jesse "left" was a hard one. I was supposed to be sad, and crying, but I knew that I would meet him in the morning at the bus station, ready to go to Gina's Aunts house. So I couldn't muster up the tears. Instead I kept my head down and sniffled occasionally to make it seem like I was trying to hide the tears. And to make it even worse, Jesse kept laughing at me and making comments, under his breath, that would make me laugh. He came for lunch and we took him out for dinner. Then Papa let us walk home, and we strolled hand-in-hand all the way back to my house. We discussed our plans for meeting up the next day: meet at 9:30, catch the bus at 10, be at his house by 12. When he left, Debbie cried into his chest and told him to come back soon, mom shed a couple of tears and Papa slapped him on the back, hard enough to make Jesse wince. That was how Papa showed his emotions. I kissed his cheek and said, "See you soon." With a sly smile on his face, which he returned. When he left I raced up to my room and barricaded it. When I thought someone was listening I would let out a crying sound, but when I thought I was all clear, I packed my bags and was ready for the next adventure.

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At 7:00 Mom knocked on my door. I had pulled the blinds closed, so the room was dark and she could only slightly see my face. She sat on the edge of the bed and brushed back my hair. I looked at her half-awake and smiled slightly.

"It's going to be ok dear, you'll see." She sighed. I pouted as if I was about to cry and covered my face with a pillow. "There, there darling. No more crying. It's time for you to get up and get washed. Do you need to pack anything?" She said, her voice trailing away as she looked around the room.

"No, sniff, I already packed." I said from under my pillow. I listened carefully and eventually she let out a loud sigh.

"Oh darling I wish I could've…Well…come on. No more dwelling on the past, lets look to the future. You're going to have a great time at Gina's Aunts." She said with a little bit of pep. I slid out of bed and went for my bath. To her it would seem like I was completely rejuvenated from my bath, but I knew that I was excited to see Jesse and meet his parents.

I laid out my best traveling suit, which was an A-line navy blue dress, which had a thick white collar and a grey pea-coat that reached my knees, to go over top of it. I added a matching hand bag and my white gloves to finish off the outfit. I tied a blue ribbon through my hair and tied it into a bow at the top of my head, then slid it to the side so that I didn't look like such a child. I smiled at myself in the mirror, once my make up was done and packed away. I nodded, grabbed my black traveling boots and headed down stairs with my suitcase.

Mom was in the kitchen, frying some eggs, and Papa was at the table reading the paper; Debbie was no where to be found. I sat down in my regular seat and Papa put the paper down.

"I'll drive you to the bus station dear." He smiled at me brightly.

"Thanks Papa."

"It's going to be strange not having you around." Mom sighed.

"It's only for 4 days Mom." I shrugged.

"Yes but, it just…it will be quiet." She said placing my plate in front of me.

"Debbie's here dear." Papa smiled. "It wont be quiet."

"I heard that!" Debbie shouted down the stairs and Papa flinched playfully. I smiled at him and rolled my eyes. Sometimes he was such a child, but I loved that about him.

"Call when you get there!" Mom said, sitting down beside me to eat her own breakfast.

"I will try, but she might be like grandma and completely dispose telephones." I laughed and Mom nodded.

"Alright, well…just be safe then. Please?" She begged and I groaned.

"Mom, what do you think I will be doing? Climbing mountains and hunting for rattlesnakes! I'm going to visit a poor, sick lady who would like some company for a couple of days because she is tremendously lonely." I snapped and she pouted.

"I just don't want…I don't want to lose you." She said, tears in her eyes. I hated this about my mother. Almost everything made her cry. I looked to Papa, but he was purposely avoiding the situation. I exhaled and grabbed mom's hand.

"Mom, I will be fine. I will call you from a payphone as SOON as I get to the station." I said. She nodded, brushing away the tears and I sighed. Now I was going to need to come up with an idea for calling in Maryland not New York.

I quickly finished my breakfast and checked over my things one last time. Debbie came skipping down the stairs with a meek smile on her face. She looked at me and nodded. She seemed cross with me and it was probably because I was going away and not bringing her with me. She gets like that sometimes.

"Make sure you remember everything. I don't want you to miss one single detail." She said to from across the table. I laughed.

"I'm going to help an old lady, not traveling across Europe."

"Of course." She smiled a sneaky smile and gave me a wink. I gaped at her. "Just don't

forget…ANYTHING!"

"I…um…wont." I smiled briefly to show that I knew what she was talking about. She winked again and then picked up Papa's paper and flipped to the comics section. I looked at the clock and it said 9:23. I jumped out of my chair. "Papa. We gotta go!"

"Ok. I'll just get my hat." I rolled my eyes, knowing that he would take 5 minutes to get his hat. I kissed mom on the cheek and smiled at her.

"Don't worry Mom! I'll be fine. Besides, this is good for me." I said, making myself frown a bit. At the idea of my sorrows over Jesse, Mom planted a fake smile on her face and nodded.

"You're right! This is good for you. Have fun dear. Don't drive Gina's aunt too crazy."

"I wont mom."

"Don't get into any trouble Sis!" Debbie called from the kitchen doorway. She was smiling deviously at me and I shook my head. I walked to her and wrapped her in a tight hug.

"I'll miss you Debbie!" She hugged me tight.

"You'll only be gone three days! Jeez!" She said, but I could tell she would miss me too. I held on to her for a couple more seconds, so that the tears would leave her eyes and then I let go. Papa came down the stairs, hat on his head and keys in his hands.

"Ready?" he asked me.

"Yes." I nodded and smiled at my mother and sister again before leaving the house. Step one was finished now onto step too. Meeting Jesse without Papa seeing.

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Papa pulled into the bus station and parked in the closest parking space to the exit. This meant that we had to walk all the way over to the station. I would've grumbled the whole way across but Papa was carrying my case for me, so I kept my mouth closed.

When we got up to the bus I looked around for Jesse and spotted him at the window buying my ticket.

"Well Papa." I said with a nervous sigh. "I'm going to miss you."

"I'm just going to wait for Gina's parents to get here." He said with a shrug. I looked at him curiously. He had never cared this much before. Maybe he had caught on that I wasn't really going to Gina's aunts house! I started to panic. I looked around frantically for anything to give me an idea and saw Jesse look at me. He smiled hopefully at me and I shook my head. His smile dropped when he spotted Papa and turned his back to us, in hopes that Papa wouldn't recognize him.

"Papa, Gina's parents…aren't coming." I said.

"Why not?" He frowned at me.

"Because…well…Andy's bringing her." I said.

"Why wouldn't her parents bring her? I mean she is their only daughter."

"Yes but she visits her aunt all the time, so it's normal for Gina to travel." I shrugged, trying to downplay how nervous I actually was.

"I…just want to…"

"Papa, when Andy get's here, it's going to be very uncomfortably for both of us. I mean he's so…emotional when it comes to Gina." I said looking him square in the face. "I will be quite fine waiting here over there for Gina to arrive." I said pointing to the long line that was in front of the bus.

"Susanna, I don't know if I'm…" But what could he say? He couldn't stop me from going right before I was about to leave. He looked at me and then sighed. This broke my heart. I had just lied to my parents and they were going to be worried sick about me for the next 4 days. But I couldn't go back on Jesse now so I had to grin and bare it.

"Papa, I'll be ok. I mean I'm pretty tough. There's no New Yorker who can out toughen me!" I said puffing out my chest, like Shirley Temple did in the Little Colonel. He smiled down at me.

"Alright. I'll go, but I'm going to wait in the car, just so that you're mother doesn't think I'm neglectful." I smiled thanking God that she had chosen to stay home, or I would have never left.

"Bye Papa." I smiled and he kissed my cheek lightly.

"Bye Princess. Be safe."

"I will." I nodded and headed off to the line, only looking back at him once. He watched me walk to the line and I knew he would stand there for a couple of minutes and watch me. I pretended to be looking for Gina, so that he wouldn't suspect anything.

Then suddenly someone said excuse me, bumped into me and slipped something into my pocket. When I looked at it I saw that it was my ticket and I smiled brightly. I didn't dare look up, in case Papa was still there, but I knew who put it there.

The bus doors opened 10 minutes to 10 and I found my seat pretty quickly. I made sure to save a spot for Jesse and did this by placing my bags on the seat beside me. I looked out over the bus station and saw Jesse, who was just about to board the bus. I looked over the parking lot and my heart sank. Papa was still there. He was looking over the bus station parking lot, obviously looking for Gina and Andy. As Jesse sat down I groaned.

"What is it?" He asked me.

"Papa. I thinks he's caught on!" I covered my face with my hands.

"How do you know?" Jesse said looking out the window at Papa.

"He's been watching for Gina. The whole time." I looked at Papa again. He was standing straighter this time, more alert like he might do something.

"I think he should be fine." Jesse said with a confident smile.

"Trust me. I know when my father is-"

"Susanna look." He pointed past me, to the entrance of the bus station. There standing in the middle was Gina and Andy. Gina reached up and grabbed his collar, kissing him long and hard, completely catching him off guard. To us it was an obvious decoy, but to Papa it was what he had been waiting for. When he spotted Gina he relaxed and walked around to the car. When the door shut I exhaled and that's when the bus started. Everyone had gotten on and the bus was about to leave. I rested my head back on the seat and closed my eyes. All that lying had made me exhausted.

When the bus started rolling I opened my eyes again. Papa was gone but Gina stood staring at the bus. When she spotted me she waved frantically and I waved back, grining broadly.

"How did you manage that one?" I asked Jesse, still waving at Gina.

"It was her idea actually." He said, with amusement in his voice. I turned to him and smiled. This was really happening. I was really going to meet his parents! I looked around us and saw that there were young people and old people, mothers and children, husbands and wives. People who were going home, or people who were visiting. It was peaceful to know that somehow, you fit in with these people. I leaned back on the chair again and stared out the window. I watched the town pass by us and got lost in my thoughts about what the next four days would hold, what Jesse's parents would be like.

"Susanna?" Jesse whispered into my ear, making my jump out of my thoughts.

"Yes?" I whispered back.

"I want you to wear this." He said. "Just for the bus ride." I looked at him and then down in his hand. I covered my mouth when I saw the rings in his hands.

"Their not real!" He scrambled to find the right words to say. "I just don't want people thinking badly of us." If he had lighter skin he would have blushed a deep red. I smiled at this idea and then held out my hand. He looked at me shocked.

"Well, put them on already!" I playfully rolled my eyes and he slid the rings onto my finger. The "engagement ring" was a perfect fit, with a fake diamond on a painted gold ring. But the "Wedding band" was a bit big, so I put it on first, so that the engagement ring would keep in on my finger. For the next couple of hours I would be Jesse's wife. He must've thought the same thing that I did, because he slipped his arm around my shoulder and I leaned into his chest. Then I fell asleep.


	19. The Dream House

The bus pulled into the Baltimore bus station at half past 12. I had slept for pretty much the entire bus ride and Jesse had gently woke me when we had entered Maryland. As the bus pulled to a stop, I noticed that there were a lot more people here than I had expected. I scanned the crowd for someone who had similar characteristics to Jesse but saw no one. As the bus started to empty, I turned to him.

"Are you're parents here?" I could feel the butterflies fill my stomach.

"No." I exhaled. "We have to take another bus, just a city bus, but its another half an hour to get to the house." He smiled tiredly. I smiled slightly, trying to calm my nerves and he gave my hand a tight squeeze. It was our turn to get off the bus and Jesse took both my bag and his and carried it off the bus.

As I stepped off the last step I looked around. I had never traveled farther than my grandmother's house and she lived out in the country, in Virginia. For some silly reason I thought it would be different here. What I mean is that it was different, but I thought it would smell different, or have people who dressed differently. But people here were exactly like people back home and I shrugged off that bit of disappointment. I guess to see KNEW types of people I would have to travel to Europe.

Jesse grabbed my hand suddenly, passing my bag to me and pulled me through the crowd. "Come on." He smiled. "We're going to miss the bus." He anxiously pulled us through the crowds until we reached a road. He quickly looked both ways before he darted across, dragging me along with him. I squealed at the sight of an approaching car, but we reached the side before it could cause any damage. Once in the line, he turned to me and smiled, "That was fun." He laughed at my scowl and dug into his pockets for 20 cents for the bus. The bus driver smiled at us as we passed and then closed the doors. We found a seat at the back and put out cases under out seat.

"Are you nervous?" He asked, sliding his arm around my shoulder and I rested on him.

"Are you kidding?" He laughed. "I'm pretty sure I will be sick by the time we get to your house." I cringed at the thought.

"Don't worry. You'll be fine." That wasn't good enough. I needed more soothing, or at least something to get my mind off of my nerves.

"Tell me about them?" I said watching the people and stores pass by in a blurr.

"Well, my father doesn't speak English very well, so Ma and I will translate for you. Ma taught me everything I know, except for the farming bit. She works in the small garden out front of the house, but not in the fields." He smiled fondly.

"Why not?" I asked.

"Well she thinks it is improper for a woman to work that hard." I smiled, already fond of her.

"Well she's absolutely right. Women shouldn't have to work that hard. I mean what are men truly for, if not to work hard?" I teased and an older woman turned around and gave me a secret smile. I met her eye contact and smiled back. Then she turned to her husband and nudged him with her elbow, saying something to him and making him stare at her with curiosity. I smiled into my hands.

"Well, I don't know about that, but that's the way Ma thinks. She is very gentle and will fuss over you like crazy." It was plain as day that Jesse was homesick and I felt guilty for keeping him away from them for so long.

"What is you're father like?"

"He's very quiet. He likes to give orders and shout, but for the most part he keeps to himself. He loves my mother a lot, you'll notice it almost instantly, or so I've been told. He doesn't like to admit it but she has him wrapped around her finger." I smiled at the picture playing out in my head.

"So are you still nervous now that you know all about them?" He asked.

"Yes." I sighed and turned back to the scenery. The older couple got off, giving me a smile before she left, and we were the only ones left on the bus.

"Not a lot of people take this bus." Jesse said and I nodded, clearly thinking the same thing.

"You live that far?"

"It's about a 20 minute drive to the closest town." I looked at him shocked and he smiled. I rested my head on his chest and he kissed it. For the next 20 minutes I watched as the town dissolved into country. The fields were big and green. Some had corn and some had small pumpkins getting ready for Halloween; some had sheep and some had cows grazing in the fields. I exhaled my nerves and relaxed. It was truly beautiful out here and I was truly glad that I had come out here, if only to see the country side.

Then the ocean came into view and I gasped. Of course I had seen the ocean before, but the way the sun glimmered off of it made it look like tiny little diamonds that dazzled and sparkled no matter which way you turned them. And along the coast, instead of rocks there was actual sand! In Monroe there were only rock beaches, but here there were sandy beaches and people were down at the beach playing in the water and laying on the sand.

"There's a path behind the house that leads to the ocean." Jesse whispered and I smiled brightly. This was going to be so much fun.

"It's beautiful here." I sighed.

"Wait till you see it at night." I looked at him, urging him to explain. "In the city the lights dim out the stars, but in the country there aren't half as many lights, so you see ALL the stars." He said with excitement and I smiled. We passed a sign that said "Welcome to Newark. Population 303." I smiled, Monroe had beaten this population by 100 people, but yet it still seemed very small.

"Almost there." Jesse said, he sounded nervous and that made me even more nervous. The bus continued on for another 5 minutes, when Jesse went up to the driver and asked him to stop up ahead. He nodded and stopped right where Jesse wanted him too. He waved for me to follow him and got off the bus. I took a deep breath and then followed. I smiled to the bus driver and thanked him and he tipped his hat before closing the doors and continuing on. Jesse grabbed my case from me and we started off down the road.

"It's just up here." Jesse said, swinging a case forward to point forward. I smiled and linked my arm through his. We walked for a couple of minutes, barely speaking because we were both nervous. Jesse smiled as me as he turned behind a thick bush and I followed him. I stopped and took in the scene before me.

There was a long steep drive down to a small, (well large house but it looked small from atop the hill) white house that had a red truck in front of a white garage. In behind the house was a red barn and behind the house were fields upon fields of grass. Jesse stopped walking when he realized that she was not following him and turned to look at her. She gazed past him at the black shingles and the green shutters, at the white porch with a swing and a rocking chair. She smiled at the small rose garden in front of the house that his mother had clearly put a lot of effort into.

"What's wrong Susanna?" Jesse called up the hill to me, and I shrugged.

"It's beautiful." I sighed. I could have sat down and just looked at the house all day, but I knew I couldn't. Jesse waved me on eagerly and I sighed, skipping down the hill to catch up with him.

"Don't be nervous." He said to me.

"How can I be nervous, this house is enough to take my breath away." I sighed, mesmorized by the house. It was exactly what I had dreamed that MY home would look like. It was perfect right down to the sleeping Labrador on the porch. When we got closer it's ears perked up and it watched us. It must not have recognized Jesse, in his soldier uniform because it didn't move from it's spot just watched us. It wasn't until we got close enough to see details to the dog that it jumped up, started barking and raced towards Jesse. He excitedly dropped the cases and bent down to pet the excited dog that circled his legs and covered his hands and face with kisses. Then when it was finished with Jesse it came over to me and circled my legs. I scratched behind it's ears and it settled down, placing one paw over my outstretched arm, as if to hold it in place. I laughed at its reaction to my touch and so did Jesse.

"He loves that don't you buddy?" He said ruffling the golden hair.

"What is his name?" I asked, reaching both hands to scratch behind both ears.

"Alano." Jesse said with emphasis on his accent. "It means Beautiful."

"Acutally it means handsome. Son have I not taught you anything?" A woman appeared behind Jesse completely catching us off guard. She was a short woman, of about 5 ft and had dark skin like Jesse, but bright blue eyes. Her dark, graying hair was in a bun that had loose curly strands of hair poking out of it. She wore a dark brown skirt that touched the floor, a white blouse that she rolled up to her elbows and a white apron, that had turned yellow with age, was tied around her waste. A huge grin broke out on Jesse's face and he laughed. He reached down and hugged his mother tightly.

"Hola mama. Como Estas'? He said to his mother in Spanish. She looked into his eyes, holding his face with her hands and smiled at him. Tears appeared in her eyes as she spoke.

"Su bueno tener a tu casa hijo" She kissed each side of his face, the tears now pouring down her face.

"Mama, don't cry. I'm fine see!" He held out his arms and turned around to show her no marks or scrapes on his body.

"Yes, well it wasn't the past couple of months that I have been worrying about." She said to him and then looked past him directly at me. I felt the nerves fill my stomach again and I smiled, to the best of my ability.

"You must be Susanna." She said, giving me the same smile that she gave Jesse. "She is just as beautiful as you said Jesse." She smiled at him, and gave him a wink. I blushed and looked down at my hands and then gasped inwardly. The rings! I quickly hid my hands behind my back and tried desperately to get them off, planting a fake smile on my face to hide my concentration. Jesse raised an eyebrow at me and I coughed.

"It's nice to meet you." I gave one more hard tug and then stuck out my bare left hand. I held the rings in my right hand, so I couldn't shake with that. But it didn't matter anyway, because she smiled at my hand and then wrapped her arms around me, like we were old friends.

"It's nice of you to come and visit us. Please come in." She said, placing a hand on my back and steering me into the house. "Jesse you carry her bag upstairs." She said over her shoulder. "You can sleep in the barn while you're here." I looked at her worried. I had never thought that I would be putting anybody out.

"I can sleep in the barn if it is a problem. I mean, I didn't…I don't want to put anyone out." I said looking from Jesse's mother to Jesse. She smiled at me and shook her head.

"Dear, he'll be perfectly fine sleeping in the barn."

"Yea the hay is really comfy." Jesse said with sarcasm.

"What are you talking about? There's a bed in there dear, so he wont be cold or uncomfortable. Actually he'll probably be more comfortable out there than we will be in the house. So do not worry." I looked to Jesse for reassurance and he shrugged, giving me that sly smile of his.

The screen door creaked open and we stepped inside. It was very narrow in the entrance way. The floor was solid wood, except for a long red rug that had white flowers on it, and that lay in the middle of the hallway. The walls were a pale yellow colour, giving the room just enough light. There was a white door to the left and a set of stairs directly in front. Down the hall was another door, but it was closed so I had no idea what it was. Along the walls were pictures; some of the house and some of things that must have been important to the family, like a horse or a tractor.

"This way dear." His mother said and she led me through the door on the left. When the door opened I knew it was the kitchen, for it smelt delicious. It smelt like spiced apples and sugar. When I looked around the kitchen I spotted the flour on the white counter tops and the warmth coming from the stove. She was baking some sort of dessert. The walls were white in here, with pale blue flowers hand painted onto the walls and the floor was solid chestnut, except for in front of the sink there was a small blue, circular rug. There was a tiny table on the interior wall, and it had a vase with pink daisies on the table. It had two chairs and at one spot there was a chair and mug of tea, which was still hot.

"Would you like something to drink? Something to eat? I mean you must be hungry." She said, starting to fuss just like Jesse said she would.

"I'm fine thank you." I said, sitting at the empty spot at the table.

"Are you sure? Not even a cup of tea?" She folded her hands in front of her and looked at me with a worried expression.

"Ok, I'll have a cup of tea please." I smiled at her persistence and she nodded and turned to make another cup.

"Jesse will probably want some tea as well." She mumbled to herself. I watched her make the tea quickly add milk to each one and subconsciously she added two sugars to each. "Oh my." She touched her head with embarrassment. "I forgot to ask you what you take in your tea." She went to pour out the tea when I stopped her.

"No, no that's perfect. Two sugars and some milk is the way I always drink my tea."

"Well then." She said smiling brightly and passing me the cup. "You will fit right in here."

"You take two sugars as well?"

"So does Jesse. My husband doesn't though." She shook her head in wonder. "Speaking of which he should be in from the fields soon, and that means I will have to get dinner ready." She said standing up. "Jesse!" She called leaving me in the kitchen to drink my tea. She was gone for a couple of minutes and I could hear her talking to him on the stairs. Then she popped back into the kitchen and smiled brightly.

"Jesse is going to give you the tour of the house, and show you where to sleep. That way I can start peeling my potatoes and start the chicken. You like chicken right?"

"Of course. I will admit that I eat almost anything." I smiled sweetly and could feel my cheeks blush. She smiled brightly, staring at me with some sort of emotion that I could only relate to as pride and then turned to the sink.

"That's wonderful. Its about time there was a girl who liked to eat." She sighed, dealing with the changing generations wasn't only hard on her parents apparently. I took a big sip of my tea, gulped it down, instantly regretted it and then left the room to go and find Jesse.

I went back into hallway and looked around. "Jesse?" I called softly.

"I'm up here. Come on up." His voice floated down to me and I headed upstairs. Along the wall going upstairs was like a family tree. At the bottom was pictures from when the house was first built, a couple and 7 children stood in front of the house. Then the next picture was a wedding picture and then more children and on and on. When I got to about half way up the stairs I stopped. A face jumped out of the frame and I couldn't help but smile back at the little boy in trousers, that had a weed in between his teeth and a big smile on his face. The next picture Jesse was 12 and he wasn't alone in this one. A little toddler, with long black curly hair stood staring at the camera with two fingers in her mouth. Jesse knelt down beside her, wrapping an arm protectively around her back, and smiled brightly at the camera.

"She had just turned 2 in that picture." Jesse said causing me to jump. I looked up at him and noticed the grim look on my face.

"She was beautiful." I smiled at the picture, looking at the frilly dress that I imagined being a baby pink and the cute bonnet on her head.

"She was and she was funny. She always did things that could make you go from being miserable to laughing till you cried." He said fondly moving down the stairs to stand beside me.

"This one was taken a month before she died. On her first day of school." He said proudly. The little girl was smiling brightly at the camera. She had tiny baby teeth and bright eyes that looked gray in the photo. She had two long braids with what I imagined were red bows and a red jumper with a black skirt and a white blouse.

"Where is your school photo?" I said looking back down the rows of photos.

"Ma taught me at home. When Theresa turned 4 Ma and Dad thought it would be better for her to get a proper education than to be taught at home like I was." He smiled at the photo then grabbed my hand. "Come on. I want to show you my old room." He smiled brightly and led my up the stairs.

This hallway was just as narrow as the hallway downstairs. The only difference was that the floor was carpeted. It was still strange to me to see carpeted floors, but I loved the feeling of the soft white carpet under my stocking feet. At one end of the hallway was a door, it was closed and Jesse didn't even look in that direction.

"This is my parents room." He said pointing to the first door to his right, before moving on. "This is the bathroom." He said opening the door and showing me a toilette and a small tub, along with a sink and some clean cream coloured towels. "This…is my room." He said standing at the door at the end of the hallway, opposite to the door he avoided. He paused before opening the door and stepped inside with a bright smile.

The room was a pale blue colour with blue checkered curtains, that covered the window when closed. The room was bright and clean. It had a rather large bed in the middle, with a hand-stitched blue and white quilt on the bed and a night table on each side of the bed. There was a dresser on the wall opposite the bed and a long mirror beside it. There was a tiny white bookshelf by the back window and it had a couple of history books on it. Plus others that were in Spanish and one Shakespeare play. I looked around the room and spotted my case beside the mirror. I sat down on the bed and noticed that it was very comfy.

"Well what do you think?" He asked, never moving from the doorway. I looked around the room once more before smiling at him.

"I love it!" I said brightly and he came and sat next to me. "It's amazing." He grabbed my left and held it tight, looking around the room with pride.

"I never got to see your room." He said with a smug smile.

"That's because a woman's room is private." I smiled, sticking my nose in the air. He laughed and looked down at my hand, tracing each finger with his.

"The rings! When did you take them off?" He looked at me with a certain fondness.

"Outside before I met your mother." He smiled.

"That's what you were doing." He laughed. "Well you are smarter than I thought." He laughed, then winced when I pinched him. Once he stopped laughing we looked around the room.

"So…this is my house." He sighed. "This is my life."

"I love it!" I smiled at him, meeting his eyes. His hand reached up and brushed my cheek and I leaned into him and kissed him. This was going to be the best trip I would ever take.


	20. Julio and Ella

"So this is the barn." Jesse said opening the door and stepping inside. It smelled like cow droppings and hay. I looked around the dim, quiet barn and noticed three horse stalls, one pig pen, a large space to keep sheep and a hay loft above. Jesse held my hand as he directed me around the barn showing me different things, like riding saddles and what they use to collect the dirty hay. He led me up to the back of the barn, where the doors were open, but also where they kept the cows. This pen was huge. It was about the width of the barn and 50 ft long. All of the animals were outside, or so Jesse said, and they would be brought in just before dinner, which was always at 6.

"Come on. I'll show you my quarters while you are here." He smiled at his joke. He led me to a ladder and looked up. I gulped as I saw how high it was and I was in a dress.

"Maybe you could show me another day?" I asked looking down at my clothes and wished that I had brought something old that I didn't have to worry about getting dirty. He looked my clothes over and nodded.

"Alright, tomorrow then." He smiled. "Anyways I sleep up there." He pointed.

"Looks cozy." I shrugged. "Doesn't the smell bother you?"

"No. I guess I'm used to it. Even being away for weeks I still don't mind this smell. It's the noise in the morning that bothers me. But normally I had to be up early to get all the work started." He shrugged picking up a rake and holding it in his hands. I smiled as I watched him feeling the familiarity of the rake in his hands.

"You miss it?" I asked.

"Of course." He sighed. "This is my life." He said shifting the rake in his hands. I nodded and turned away from him, giving him a moment to his thoughts. I wandered around and then decided to go outside. As soon as I stepped out the door I bumped into someone.

"Oh! I'm sorry…sir." As I looked into the man's face I knew it was Jesse's father. He looked identical to Jesse, or Jesse looked identical to him. He had tanned skin, with bright green eyes and wrinkles on his forehead and around his eyes. His dark hair was grayer as was his mustache.

"Disculpe señorita." He said to me and I smiled.

"Hola Papa. Me alegro de verte." He said hugging his father in a tight hug. His father smiled brightly and tears lined his eyes.

"Mi hijo!" He said looking into his eyes, studying them. He looked passed Jesse and looked at me and smiled brightly. "Susanna?" He asked, raising an eyebrow at Jesse. Jesse nodded and looked down at his feet. His father studied my face and then smiled. "Bienvenido a mi casa." He said. I smiled and then looked to Jesse.

"He said welcome to his home." He smiled at me. "Papa, ella no sabe hablar español." Jesse shook his head.

"Oh, so sorry." His father said. "Welcome." He smiled at me and, as Jesse's mother did, leaned forward and hugged me. He smelt of pipe tobacco, like Papa did. "I Julio." He said.

"Hello, my name is Susanna, as you already know." I smiled. "You're house is lovely." I said, but he just smiled at me. It was exactly what I had done when I couldn't understand him.

"Ella dice que la casa es preciosa." Jesse told Julio, coming to my rescue. He nodded at me and took my hand. "Come." He said pulling my gently towards the house. "Meet Ella."

"Papa, ella ya la madre." Jesse said walking behind us. Julio looked back at him briefly and then smiled at me.

"Excellent cook." He said and I smiled. "Pot Roast." He said then kissed his fingers in a way that showed that it was delicious. I smiled brightly and nodded that I understood. We went inside and just in 10 minutes the house aroma had changed, and changed for the better. As soon as you walked in the smell of roasted chicken filled your nose and made you're stomach grumble. But it wouldn't be dinner time for another 2 hours.

"Ella!" Julio called from the front entrance.

"Ci?" She called back from the kitchen.

"Tenemos un visitante." He said hanging his hat on the coat rack that stood beside the front door.

"Ci, Julio, Yo sé." Ella appeared in the entrance wiping her hands on her apron. "Sorry about him dear. He likes to think that he knows more than me." She said smiling brightly. "Vamos Viejo!" She said, placing a hand on his back and pushing him through the door. I heard Julio say something back to her and then heard her laugh.

"Those are my parents." Jesse sighed, appearing at my side.

"They are so sweet." I smiled up like him. "You are lucky to have them." I said and he smiled down at me.

"Come on you two. I need you're help in here." Ella called from the kitchen. I smiled at him and he kissed me quickly before we went into the kitchen to help out "around the farm".

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Jesse and Julio disappeared out to the fields and Ella and I stayed in the kitchen. She gave me a pink apron, which had white lace around it, to put on and gave me the shop of peeling and chopping up carrots. As we cooked dinner we talked and talked.

"So, how old are you dear? Jesse never said." Her back was to me, as she stirred the pot with the boiling potatoes.

"16." I said. I saw her stop stirring the pot and could pretty much hear her thoughts.

"You're parents do know that you are here right?" She said turning to me. I swallowed hard and looked back.

"Yes. They know." I said. She studied me and then smiled.

"Well as long as they know, then you are welcome." She said.

"Thank you, for letting me stay here, even on such short notice." I said.

"Jesse told us that you were coming with him." She said, and when I looked shocked she smiled. "He called us yesterday." At the mention of a phone I hit my self.

"Oh no!" I said and kicked myself for being so stupid.

"What is it dear?" Ella said rushing to my side.

"It's nothing serious. I just forgot something." I shrugged and then gave a smile. I would have to find someway of calling later.

"Are you sure? Is there anything I can do?" She asked and I shook my head.

"It's nothing really! I just forgot this silly thing at home that I had…um…wanted to give you." She looked at me with wonder.

"Well, you'll have to save it for the next time you come over." She said, and I smiled brightly.

"I will." I said. "So how did you and your husband meet?" She smiled, looking away, clearly remembering the day.

"We were childhood sweethearts." She said. "He was my father's servant's son and I was the daughter of a rich family in Spain. He was a year older than me, but it never seemed to stop us from playing together and finding a companion in each other. When I was 14 I knew that I loved him, but he was still too young to see it. In fact he never noticed that I loved him until years later. I mean it wasn't like it was that hard not to notice, he was just too thick in the head to take notice." She laughed. "I remember this one time I PERSONALLY cooked his favorite meal for him and set it up all nicely in my old tree house where we used to play. When he got there he gave me a funny look and then sat down and shoveled all the food into his mouth, clearing his plate in less than 5 minutes." She laughed and so did I. I could picture then as teenagers and her pretty much pouring out her heart while he is completely oblivious to it. "When I was 17 Julio was working full time for my father and we rarely saw each other. As time went on we grew in separate directions. By that age I was ready for marriage but he was just starting his career and to be honest father wasn't really to keen on him. So that summer I met a man named Hector D'Ablo. He was an older man, looking for a wife and had a wealthy ranch out in the country about a half an hour ride to my parents place. So he was perfect for me. I remember the day that I was getting married; Julio came up to me in the garden, after months and months of avoiding me. He approached me and told me that I couldn't marry this man! It wasn't meant to be, is what he said. I remember I cried so much as I walked away from him and left him standing under the willow tree in my front yard. Walking down that isle was the hardest thing I had ever done." She shook her head with sadness. "If only the fool had known sooner that he loved me things would have been different."

"You married him? This Manuel guy?" I asked, completely fascinated with her story.

"Yes. I married him, and moved out of my parent's house in two days. Never once did I see Julio, not at the wedding and not while I was packing my things. I thought he had fled town and was finished with me, I mean I was a new bride and it would harm both families if he had pursued me."

"So what happened?" I asked, turning back to the carrots.

"Well, we settled into married life. I was didn't have to do very much, except look pretty and throw amazing parties. We had servants who did every chore that a wife was supposed to do." She paused thoughtfully. "Well almost every chore." She said giving me a wink and I smiled, feeling my cheeks go hot. "I had my first child a year after we were married."

"You had a child?" I asked completely shocked.

"Oh dear I've had many children." She shook her head. "All boys mind you, except for one." A black shadow slid over her face and she fell silent. I scrambled for a way of bringing her back.

"What was his name? You're son I mean?" She looked at me for a second and then nodded.

"Oh, his name was Carlos Manuel. He was the fattest baby you would ever see and when I looked at him, my heart sank for I had always dreamed that I would have my children with Julio and even though I never saw him I still thought of him constantly, especially when I felt the baby move within me. I fell into a depressed state after Carlos was born and some blamed his distance with me on that. See as Carlos grew he became more and more like his father, money hungry, and I was a girl who didn't care for money. I grew up with a poor best friend who showed me that mud was more fun than expensive dolls and such."

"So did you only have Carlos then?"

"No, no I had three more children in that marriage. One died, during child birth but the other two survived. Carlos and then Diego. Now if I had to choose my favorite it would have been Diego, apart from Jesse that is." I nodded to show that I understood. "He was, well my baby. Manuel focused all his attention on his first born son, the heir to his money and his power that he pushed aside little Diego and Diego was little. He was born a couple of weeks early and was a tiny baby, with a tiny cry and bright blue eyes like mine. He looked so much like me that people started to talk and say that it would be hard to tell if Manuel was the father, because there was no similarities. Of course as Diego got older he started to look more like Carlos, but for the most part he was like me. He was quiet around Manuel and yet extremely funny and very smart. He was a romantic at heart and had his first love at 6. But the problem with his first love was that she was a lot older than him, so I had to teach him that loving someone that much older was incorrect and that a girl closer to his own age would be proper. Then he came back with how Manuel was so much older than I was and that lesson was out the window, so to speak. When Carlos was 9 and Diego was 6 I took them to visit my parents. My father had been ill and my mother was worried about him, so we went to help lighten the mood. Manuel had been out of town, with one of his mistresses, so the house seemed very empty. "

"He had mistresses?" I said, somewhat shocked. This story just seemed to become more horrible as it went on.

"He had plenty my dear. Only in the first year of marriage did he not have a mistress. Once Carlos was born, there was no purpose for me anymore." She sighed, clearly still hurting from being rejected."But as I was saying I took the boys to my parent's house and of course you know who I encountered on that visit." I smiled and nodded my head. "After 10 years I saw him, and he had changed dramatically. He went from being a scrawny 18 year old boy to a tall muscular 28 year old man, who was single and had saved up a lot of money, with plans on going to America. When I started talking with him I couldn't stop all the feelings that came rushing back to me. It was like, I was seeing clearly for the first time what my life would be like if I had been with him. I went home after that trip with a new buzz, which I would only ever get from meeting with him. It started out just meeting in secret to talk, but then it turned into more. After a while the passion between us took over us, and it became a real affair. It lasted for months and months; we would meet once, sometimes twice a week and spend a couple of hours together before I would leave and return to my family. I knew that Manuel suspected something, but he never had any proof so what could he do. Then the unimaginable happened and I got pregnant. That was proof enough for Manuel. He called me all sorts of names and told me that I was a disgrace to the family. He threatened to kill Julio if he ever came near me again and forbade me from leaving the house without a chaperone."

I stared at her with a blank expression. "But I thought he didn't love you?"

"He didn't, but he didn't want anyone else to love me as well. He was insanely jealous about everything and this was just one of those things that he would be able to use against me." She sighed and we both sat at the table, finished with our vegetables. "When my third child was born, I was so overjoyed, that I cried. His name was Hector, and I loved him more than anything. Even Diego liked him too. Carlos wasn't too fond of him and tried to fill Diego's mind with all sorts of things about how I wouldn't love him anymore because I had the child that I always wanted and all that. By this point Carlos was 14 and Diego was 11. But no matter what my boy stayed true to me and he stayed by my side to help me with the baby when I needed it. You see, I would not let any wet nurse take over this child, I mean in reality this was the child that I had always wanted. He was the child that I had imagined when I had been pregnant with Carlos." Her face softened and looked sad again.

"What happened?" I frowned, sensing more despair.

"He got sick about a month after he was born. He caught consumption or something. It was a slow and painful death that could not be stopped and when he died I shut myself away from the world, only allowing Diego to sit with me, but never speaking."

"That's horrible." She nodded in agreement.

"By this point I was 32 and ready for a change. I had lived my life to be in the command of my husband and now that my job was done I needed something else. That baby had been that something else and when he died I was back in my pit of despair. One day though, I had the craving to go outside and sit on a little swing we had set up on the porch. It was the middle of the night and I crept downstairs as quiet as I possibly could. I opened the door and wrapped a blanket around me as I sat swinging on the porch and looking up at the stars. I had closed my eyes for a second when I heard someone cough, scaring me half to death. When I saw the person, I cried."

"Julio." I smiled. "He seems to be you knight in shinning armor." She smiled brightly and nodded.

"He was that night for sure. He sat on the swing, wrapping his arms around me and just let me cry over our lost son. When I had finished crying, the sun was starting to rise and he told me that he would be back the next day to sit with me again. And he did come back then next night, and the next. After a week of meeting at midnight, every night, he told me to run away with him. He had saved enough money to get us a nice place in the country where we could raise whatever children that we had, and still be able to survive and live happily. Of course I was ready to jump on the next ship and sail for America, but when I sat back and thought about it I couldn't leave Diego behind. I told him this and he shrugged, suggesting that I bring him along. But how could I make this child come along with me, leaving behind the life that he knew, the father that he had known, for a completely different one. I told him that I would speak to Diego and he left.

When I spoke to Diego, I told him to keep it a secret. I told him that I was leaving and that I wasn't happy, that Manuel did not love me, never did love me and that he was never going to make me happy. I told him that I was going away and then I asked him to come along with us. I remember seeing the look of despair in his eyes, when he shook his head and told me that he could not leave his father and brother behind. Family was everything. Those were his exact words to me. I kissed him and held him tightly, never wanting to let go, but knowing that this life was not meant for me. I fled from the house and made it safely to America without having any problems." She smiled brightly and I frowned.

"That's it?" I said.

"What do you mean that's it? That's quite a life." She crossed her arms over her chest and sighed.

"No, I'm sorry. I meant…well were you not still married to Manuel? I mean how did you manage to marry Julio, if you were already married?" Her face brightened.

"Well you see. When I moved to America, Julio and I bought this little house that we are currently in, and settled in living pretty much as man and wife. People who passed us on the streets smiled at us, thinking we were already married. Then one day I decided that I would write home to Diego and tell him that I was alright, and to check up on how things were going. Months later a letter returned and he told me of how after I left; Manuel had searched for me high and low, knowing that I had run off with Julio. When I was know where to be found he turned to the bottle, whiskey to be precise, and one night he got so drunk that he choked to death on his own vomit. Carlos was then appointed master of the house and Diego inherited my father's property, seeing as I was an only child. He wrote to me of my freedom and hoped that I was truly happy now that I was free. He said that he had no hard feelings against me and that he wished the best for us. So Julio and I had secret wedding months later and our second son, Hector was born. But of course you know him as Jesse." She smiled brightly at me and I stared back, shaking my head.

"That is an amazing story. All the things that you went through, and in the end you both ended up together." She nodded.

"Yes what ever is meant to be, truly will be." She shrugged.

"Have you seen you're sons since then?" I asked.

"Diego, yes. He came to visit me, just after my daughter died. And he brought along his little girl. He had married, as I had always thought he would, an older woman and they had two children. She was 10 years older than him! Can you believe it?" She shook her head fondly. "But he did me proud that boy. He named her after me."

"His daughter's name was Ella?" I asked and she nodded. "That's…I don't even know what to say."

"He was a wonderful boy and will always be the one who was saving grace through those tough times." I shook my head in disbelief. What a story that this woman had lived to tell! I only hoped that my life wouldn't be as dramatic and painful as hers had, and that even thought it was less dramatic, I would still turn out to be happy.


	21. Sunsets

Dinner came and went in a blur. When the vegetables were finished cooking, Ella and I set the table in the dinning room, which had a cherry wood table that could seat 6. We set the table for four, Julio and Ella sat at the ends, and Jesse and I sat across from each other half way down the table.

The boys came in just as we were setting out the plates and sat down to eat. We talked about everything, and anything. We talked about school and how Jesse was homeschooled. We talked about my sister, Debbie and what my parents were like. We even talked about Jesse's little sister Theresa. She was very spontaneous and very active. Jesse told us a story that he had taken her riding once, when she was 3, and she had loved it. He said the next day he went out and saw her trying to get on the horse and almost got hoofed in the face when she grabbed the horse's tail. He smiled, shaking his head as he talked about her and I saw the same look in his father. Ella, however, returned to that dark, sad place she went when she thought about her. To pull her out of her despair I started to talk about my job at Sue's Café. I told them about our regulars who came in everyday and ordered the same food. This brought her back and she laughed at the stories that I told about some of the older regulars, who were starting to lose it a bit.

After we finished off the apple crumble, Ella and I cleared the table and the boys went back out to close the barn up for the night. We washed the dishes and I listened to Ella sing a song, in Spanish, while we wiped down the table and the counter tops and then put the dishes away. When dishes were done, she invited us to sit in the parlor and listen to her read, but Jesse rolled her eyes and told her that he wanted to show me the sunset on the lake. Ella exchanged smiles with Julio and nodded that we were allowed to go.

"Just don't stay out too late. I don't want to come looking for you in the pitch black." She said, frowning slightly.

"We won't mother." Jesse said kissing her cheek. "Besides you would end up sending Pa out to look for us." He said smiling as he dodged a playful swing from his mother. She translated it for Julio as we left the room and he gave a warm chuckle. "Ese es mi hijo." He said.

"Yes he certainly is YOUR son." Ella grumbled.

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Jesse took my hand and we started off through the field. The sun was just starting to set and it gave the field an orange tinge and the tall trees a glow. We raced across the field, laughing and constantly tripping over things in the ground. We got to a narrow, dirt path that went through the trees. The path led down to the ocean, I could hear it as we got closer, and I could feel myself become excited. When we passed through the trees I sighed. The view was beautiful.

The setting sun tinted the sky with pinks, oranges and a light purple. This reflected off of the ocean making it sparkle even more. When we got to beach I reached down and took off my shoes, and then my stockings, which thankfully, were only thigh high. I placed my shoes and stockings in the sand and walked slowly to the water. As my toes touched the water I shivered and got Goosebumps. The feeling of water running over my feet always gave me Goosebumps. I closed my eyes and let the wind kiss my face and the water caresses my feet. This was so calming, so relaxing, that I completely forgot that I wasn't alone.

Jesse appeared at my side and sighed. "Beautiful isn't it?" I jumped.

"Yes. It is. It's gorgeous." I smiled. "You are so fortunate to have this, place." I said looking up and down the beach. It was about 20 meters long and blocked off on each side by boulders of rock and cliff.

"I love coming down here, especially during the summer, on days that we've been working really hard on the farm. When you're hot, the ocean the so refreshing." I sighed as I imagined the feeling. I turned and went back to my shoes and sat beside them. Jesse came and sat beside me. We sat silently and just watched the sun set. It was calming and a mood passed between us. I reached over and linked my arm through Jesse's, resting my head on his shoulder. He rested his head against mine and we watched the last of the sun disappear into the ocean.

"Beautiful." I sighed again. He turned to me and smiled. Then the smile faded and he studied my eyes. I knew what was coming, but it was like watching in slow motion. He bent his head forward and kissed me. His lips were soft and warm against mine. Our lips moved in sync, perfectly matched. He turned towards me now and cupped the side of my face, as if to bring it closer to his. I grabbed the waist of his shirt and pulled myself closer and all of a sudden the kiss heated. He lowered me to the ground and was on top of my before I could take my next breath. Don't get me wrong, I loved it, but it frightened me a bit. I broke the kiss and took a deep breath. But he didn't stop. His lips traveled down my cheek to my neck and he kissed it lightly, making my body tingle.

"Stop." I breathed out a whisper. He kissed me a couple more times, groaned and then pulled away. He looked at me with lust-filled eyes and smiled slightly.

"Sorry." He sighed, running a hand over his head. I sat up and took deep breaths. I couldn't answer, I just sat there shaking and trying to regain myself. I would have given myself to him right there if I hadn't let myself think. But I wasn't sure if that was what I wanted to do. What if he really wasn't the one for me? How was I to be certain that we were truly meant to be together? He stood up brushed off his pants and smiled down at me. He offered his hands to me to help me up. When I grabbed them, he pulled me up quickly and I collided with his body. He laughed slightly and looked at his lips that were eye level.

"Jesse, I…" I what? I didn't have a clear thought in my head.

"It's ok Susanna." He said, causing me to look up. "It's not the right time anyways." I nodded in agreement and liked my arm through his. I gathered my shoes and stockings and we walked back up the hill to the fields. By the time we got back to the fields, we were laughing again, forgetting the awkward moment we had both just shared. I dashed across the field of tall grass and dared him to race me back to the house. Of course I thought I had a better chance, because I was halfway there and he was so far behind, but when on is running in bare feet and a skirt and the other in running in trousers and shoes they tend to be faster. So he gained on me in two seconds. He passed me right before I got to the steps and jumped up onto the porch. He raised his hands in victory, shouting and hooting at his win. I raced up the steps, by this point out of breath, and punched him in the stomach. I didn't punch him hard, just enough that his pride would take a hit, even if it was a little one. He bent over and made an "oof" sound. I went around him laughing, which was difficult because I was out of breath. He recovered and grabbed me by the waist, pulling me towards him, and he started tickling me. I shrieked and laughed.

"Just because I won the race doesn't allow you to punch me." He said, tickling my sides. I laughed and shrieked and squirmed to get away.

"That's…not…fair!" I squealed. All of a sudden the screen door squeaked open and Jesse let got of me. I fell into the porch swing and turned to see who had come out. Julio stood at the door and looked at us curiously. He smiled slightly at me.

"Hora de dormer." Julio said to me and I smiled, but looked to Jesse for an answer.

"He said goodnight." Jesse explained, looking nervously at me then his father. I took the hint and nodded to both of them, scooting by Julio and closing the door behind me. I raced up the stairs, but stopped at the top. I didn't think they could see me here and I could hear running water in the bathroom, so I sat close to the wall and listened. I couldn't hear very much and I couldn't understand very much either, but I did hear Jesse sigh a lot and his words that he mumbled back seemed agitated. Then he said words that would haunt me for the rest of the night.

"I love her! Do you understand? Amor, Papa." He sighed. I held my breath and collapsed onto the wall, gently. I stared at the door in front of me. He loved me! ME! Susanna Simon! I couldn't believe it. I got so wrapped up in my thoughts that I completely missed Ella coming out of the bathroom. When she touched my arm, I jumped.

"Are you alright dear?" She asked. She was wearing a long light blue night gown that had ruffles around the sleeves and buttons on the front. Her hair was tied back in a long braid and she had reading glasses on that I had not noticed before. I nodded to her and smiled.

"Yes. I'm fine." I sighed.

"Would you like to call you're parents? Just to say goodnight?" She asked. I stared at her and couldn't register what she was saying. I was still so shocked by hearing him actually SAY that he loved me.

"Um…" I said, thinking hard if it would be a good idea or not. "It will be long distance." I said. She smiled at me and patted my shoulder.

"That's ok darling. Being a parent myself, I like to get phone calls to know that my child is alright. So I think it would be good if you called your parents." I smiled at her brightly. "The phone is in the parlor, beside the bookcase." She nodded to me and I skipped down the stairs, rushing by the front door and into the parlor. I closed the door behind me so that they boys wouldn't think that I was listening and then looked around the room. There were two cream coloured sofas in the room, facing each other with a mahogany coffee table in between them. There was a dark fire place on the far wall and a writing desk under the large window at the front of the house. The bookshelf was small and dark brown but it was filled with novels and documentaries, a bible, a dictionary and so on. There was a small black phone, right beside like Ella had said, on a tiny table. I picked up the receiver and dialed the number home, praying that they wouldn't freak out.

It rang four times before someone answered.

"Hello?" It was Debbie. I exhaled the breath I had been holding and smiled.

"Hey sis." I smiled.

"Susie! How are you? Are you having fun? Getting into lots of…trouble!" I chuckled as I pictured her face, that one eyebrow raised playfully at the word trouble and that sneaky smile on her lips.

"Tons. But I'll tell you about it when I get home. Is mom there?"

"Yes. But do you really want to talk to her?" She said and I could hear mother in the background say, "Let me talk to her Debra!"

"Yes please." I said.

"Oh alright. Talk to you soon." And then the phone was passed to Mom.

"Susanna? Are you alright dear? I thought you were going to call sooner?"

"I was Mom, sorry, but there were complications with the bus, so we had to catch another one almost as soon as we got off the first bus." This wasn't a lie, completely truth! I was doing well so far.

"So how is it there?"

"Um…it's…beautiful! Very colourful and bright. I love it!" Another truth. Two for two.

"That's wonderful dear. Are you helping out a lot?" I gulped.

"Yes. And I'm learning some amazing things about people out here." I said recalling Ella's story.

"Well I'm glad you're having fun darling. You should go to bed though dear it's late. I want you to be safe and call me again soon, alright?" She sighed.

"Ok Mom. Love you." I said, seeing a whole new meaning to the word Love.

"Love you too darling. Bye-bye." I hung up the phone with a satisfied smile. I never once lied to her in that conversation. Of course she thought I was in New York, but what she didn't know wouldn't hurt her right? I turned off the light and went back upstairs to Jesse's room to get ready for bed. As I passed Ella's room she called out to me.

"That was quick. Is everything alright?" She said, propped up in her bed with a book on her lap and her glasses at the end of her nose.

"Yes. Mom didn't want you're expenses to be more because of the long distance call. It was enough for her to hear my voice." I smiled, thinking fondly of my mother.

"Well, you don't have to worry about that dear. But I'm glad everything's fine."

"Yes. Thanks again for letting me stay."

"You're welcome here any time dear." I smiled at her brightly and imagined myself coming back out here to visit.

"Good night." I said and she smiled brightly back, before I headed off down the hallway for bed.


	22. A Day on the Farm

I awoke the next day to a quiet rapping on the door. I opened my eyes slightly and studied my surroundings. It took a moment for me to remember where I was and when I did remember I smiled. I jumped out of bed and scurried to the door, in my "respectable" pink nightgown. I opened the door slightly and peeked out.

"Morning dear. It's time to get ready." Ella said, smiling brightly. She was wearing pretty much the same thing as yesterday only today's outfit was yellow. "These are for you." She said holding a bundle of clothes in her hands. I opened the door wider and she passed them to me.

"Thank you." I said completely puzzled.

"It's for working in the field dear. Jesse said you were interested in helping." She said, smiling at my ignorance.

"Oh, oh yea I would. Thank you." I opened the bundle of clothes and a white t-shirt fell out of a pair of faded blue overalls. I looked at them warily, studying each crease and each stain from hard work.

"They were mine when we moved here. I would still where them if I were, well if I was that small again. When I saw you I knew these would fit you perfectly. It will make it easier for you to move around and not have to worry about your undergarments showing." She smiled and winked. I could feel my cheeks heat at even the mention of my undergarments. I couldn't find my voice, so I stood in silence. "Breakfast will be ready in half an hour." She said clearly telling me to hurry and get ready, with out being pushy.

-------

I skipped down the stairs in the overalls, and went into the kitchen. I was instantly in love with them. I could see why men chose to wear them. They gave you freedom that skirts did not. The t-shirt was a little bit short on my waist but I wouldn't have to worry unless I lifted my arms very high it might show my back a little. I had found a rubber band under the sink in the bathroom and tied my curly black hair into a pony tail. I debated putting on a lot of makeup, but then thought against it. I was going to work in a field and get hot and sweaty. So I put on a little bit of mascara, pinched my cheeks and tied a blue bow in my hair, to match my overalls.

I instantly smiled as I entered the kitchen. Ella was sitting at the table, reading the April edition of Life magazine that she had clearly read over and over. What I smiled at was the two men, at the stove cooking breakfast. Jesse was stirring up scrambled eggs and Julio was flipping the bacon in a frying pan.

"Well this is different." I mumbled, in shock.

"Oh, Susanna. Come in. Sit down." Ella said from the seat closest to the stove. "Would you like some tea?" She asked.

"Yes please." I smiled, sitting in the opposite chair.

"Jesse." She said snapping her fingers, without even looking at him and I laughed. Two seconds later he brought over the tea pot and a cup and poured me a cup of tea, barely breaking eye contact. He winked at me and I smiled. He bowed, foolishly before turning back to the stove. Ella smiled and rolled her eyes seeing out interaction.

"So, Susann are you ready for a day in the fields?" She said, reading over her magazine.

"I…think so. I don't know exactly what I am doing though." I said, studying the cup of tea in my hands.

"That's ok. Jesse can show you. All you'll be doing is picking the ripe food off of the plants." She shrugged, like it was no big deal, but I was lucky if I could tell the difference between a raspberry and a blackberry.

"It's not hard Susie." Jesse said and I blanked. He had never called me that before and I didn't know if I liked it. It reminded me of…well…Adam.

"Why did you call her that?" Ella said sharply. Julio picked up on the tone and turned to look at us.

"That's what people call her where she lives Ma." Jesse said, stirring the eggs.

"Well, you may not call her that because that is not her name, unless she tells you to call her that. You hear?" She scolded.

"Yes Ma." She sighed. He looked at me over his right shoulder and smiled brightly. I returned the smile and then looked down as I felt my cheeks blush.

Julio held out two plates with bacon to Jesse and Jesse scooped eggs onto the plates. Julio gave Ella her plate and then placed my plate in front of me. He smiled at me and then turned back to the stove. It still shocked me how much Jesse and Julio looked so much alike.

"So, in case you were curious, this idea of getting you to work on the farm was not my idea. It was Jesse's." She said rolling her eyes. Jesse flinched slightly.

"I see." I said and smiled with amusement. "Well then…" I winked at Ella and she chuckled.

"They already let the animals out, at the crack of dawn. That's why their cooking." She said. "So you will help them with the plants."

"Ok, sounds like fun." I said, finishing off my plate. When our plates were cleared the boys sat down and ate theirs. While they ate, Ella and I washed the dishes, dried them and put them away. While we washed they dishes, they talked about the plans for the farm. In the spring they were going to expand the drive way and buy another truck. They planned on hiring extra help to help during Christmas time. This fall they had talked to neighbour's about breeding their horses and then selling the foals, keeping just one to help out in the years to come.

"Well I'll be back soon to help out Ma, so it wont be too hard." Jesse said. Ella sighed and Julio, taking in the emotion, shook his head.

"Yes well…We hope to see you too, Susanna." Ella said, smiling brightly. I felt my cheeks heat and bowed my head. I didn't even dare looking at Jesse. "Well? You will come and visit us right?"

"Sure. I'd love to visit again." I said, smiling slightly to Ella. I looked back at Jesse and he shrugged, giving me that smile that made my heart skip. I'd defiantly be visiting here again!

-----

As we were leaving out the back door Ella handed me a large straw bonnet that tied around my neck into a white silky bow. I could tell that it was really old, probably from when she was younger. This made me love it even more.

"It's so you don't burn your head. You know that hot sun can be deadly." She said smiling. The hat not only covered my head but it shaded my face as well. I had to tilt my head back to see the men in front of me. When I looked up at Jesse, he smiled and put his own straw hat on.

"Ready?" He asked.

"Defiantly." I said going down the porch steps. Julio led the way to the garden shed. It was a small white shed that had dark windows with cobwebs in them. When you went in it was dark and musty and tools lined the wall, pots covered the tables and there were packets of seeds scattered anywhere and everywhere. Julio turned to us and smiled.

"Jesse, le muestras qué herramientas utilizar para recoger el tomate y luego se pueden recoger las fresas. Después del almuerzo iremos a través del campo de maíz y recoger las maduras."

"Ci papa." Jesse nodded.

"Asegúrese de señalar los maduros, de modo que isnt confundido." Julio said, leaving us in the shed, alone.

"He wants me to show you the ripe tomatoes and strawberries because that's your job today." Jesse finally translated, smiling brightly.

"I'm excited." I said smiling brightly. Jesse chuckled and looked around the shed. "It's not every day I get to work on a farm." He smiled over his shoulder.

"Guess not." He reached into a wooden bucket and pulled out a fork like object. "This is for weeding the gardens. If you see any stray plants, that don't match the others, pull it out. You can use your hands, but it's easier to get the tough ones with this." He placed the tool on the table and looked around the dark shed. He walked over to the wall and grabbed a utility belt. "Perfect." He whispered.

"Here." He said passing it to me. I took it but didn't move. It had so many strings I didn't know where to start. He laughed as I bit my lip. He stood behind me and grabbed the belt, gently, from my hands. He slid it over my lower stomach and began tying it to my waist. After 2 seconds he was finished.

"Finished." He said whispering into my ear, making me shiver. I didn't dare look at him for fear of doing something foolish. He sighed deeply and went back to the wooden box. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

"The tomatoes are really easy to pick with your hands, so I'll just give you the basic tools to picking the fruits, lick scissors and such." He carefully put each item in a pocket of the belt, grazing my stomach each time. He looked at me when he was finished, clearly thinking the same thing that I was. I blinked back at him, butterflies filling my stomach. He leaned forward and I breathed in with anticipation. His lips were inches from my mine.

"Jesse, Vamos." Julio called from outside the shed, causing Jesse and I to jump. He looked at me and smiled.

"Good luck out there." He said it like I was about to play an important football game. I smiled and nodded, too nervous to speak. When he left I held onto the table and let out a shaky breath. I shook my head, clearing out all THOSE thoughts and left the shed to start my job.

------

Picking the tomatoes was the easy part. The orange ones you want, the green ones leave and the black ones you toss. They came off the plant very easily when I tugged and I put them into a large bucket beside me. The hardest part was weeding and sometimes I would have to use all my strength just to get the stupid things out. I was sweating in under 10 minutes.

Jesse was two rows over and a mile away from me, picking cabbages. Julio was 2 rows away from him and he was hoeing the ground. I sighed as I moved onto my 10th tomatoe plant. I had 15 more plants to go and the strawberries, and already I was bored. I started to sing some of my favorite songs from Frank Sinatra to the 4 Seasons. I found that I covered more ground quicker when I sang.

As I was singing away, completely lost in my own world, I spotted a tomatoe that had fallen off of the plant. It was a dark orange colour, probably the ripest tomatoe. I bent forward and picked it up. I looked it over and saw that it was half eaten so I threw it away. But when I turned back to the plant I got the biggest shock.

A small green snake was wrapped around the tomatoe plant and was inches away from my face. I choked and froze for a second. The snake never moved. It was like we were stuck in slow motion. When the snake's tongue touched my face I screamed and jumped up, running down the row, a bit. I turned around and saw both Jesse and Julio running towards me. I shook with fright and started at the spot as Jesse approached me.

"What's wrong Susanna? Are you alright?" Jesse asked me, grabbing my shaking hands.

"Qué sucedió?" Julio asked as he reached us.

"I…I…I saw a snake." I sighed. Jesse looked at me studying my face.

"Snake?" Julio asked looking at Jesse. Jesse nodded at that's when I saw he was trying not to smile.

"It's not funny!" I whined, feeling my cheeks heat. "It was this close to my face." I measured out the distance that the snake was to my face. He just smiled even more. "It licked me!" Jesse busted out laughing now and told Julio what I had said. He gave a slight chuckle and patted me on the back.

"It ok, Susanna." Julio said, in broken English, comforting me before going back to his work. Jesse pulled me into his arms and hugged me which was difficult because of my hat.

"I was really scared!" I whined, but even I saw that I had over reacted and was kinda funny. Like hell if I was actually going to let him know that.

"Come on. Show me your snake." He said taking my hand and pulling me back to where I was. When we got there Jesse noticed the snake almost immediately. "That little thing?" He said picking the snake out of the plant.

"He's not little!" I said, cringing as I watched it slither over Jesse's hands. He smiled at me and started to walk away.

"I'll get rid of it for you. If you get LICKED by anymore snaked, just give me a call." He chuckled.

"NOT FUNNY!" I shouted after him, which made he laugh even more.


	23. A Day at the Beach

The afternoon flew by with fresh corn and laughter. We had stopped for a quick lunch break and then headed to the corn fields to pick the corn. Jesse stuck to my side and we picked corn together, while Julio wandered off into the field. Jesse talked about things that he and Paul had done while on the base. He talked about one night they had gone out to a diner and met a group of young girls. Paul had flirted with each one, but yet he never stopped talking about Maria. I raised my eyebrow when I asked him if he flirted with the girls as well. He looked down and didn't answer. I laughed at his guilt and moved on. I wasn't going to scold him for flirting. I had kissed a boy while he was away, so if anyone had guilt it was me.

Around 2:30 the sun was so hot and we were both dying. My white t-shirt clung to my body and one of the buttons had broken off the overalls, so my stomach was showing on one side. Jesse had taken off his shirt by now, working only in a white "wife beater" and was using it to wipe the sweat from his face. I was mesmerized by how tanned his skin was, and how his muscles flexed in his back. He caught me staring and gave me a smug smile, while I blushed a crimson colour and looked away. He grabbed my hand and we sat down in the partially shaded ground, to take a break.

Julio approached us and shook his head. "Bebés." Jesse rolled his eye, but smiled. Julio sighed and said "Vamos. Tómese un descanso." Jesse jumped up and grabbed my hands.

"Gracias Papa." He pulled me through the corn maze towards the house.

"Where are we going?"

"Swimming." He said smiling back.

"Swimming? But what about the corn?" I said, not really caring about the corn, but being polite.

"Pa said we could take a break. Come on. It's so hot out here." He said running through the screen door. When I opened the door, he was already half way up the stairs. I shook my head and laughed. "Oh, you did pack a suit right?" He said, leaning over the banister.

"Yes."

"Good, wouldn't want you to go naked." He smiled at me and I blushed again.

"JESSE!" Ella screeched from the living room. She spoke, in Spanish, very quickly that I couldn't even pretend to know what she was saying.

"I was only kidding mother." Jesse rolled his eyes and continued up the stairs. I followed him up the stairs and stopped outside his bedroom door. I leaned against the door frame and watched him shuffle through the top drawer of his dresser. "I know it's in here somewhere." He mumbled. When he found it, he pulled it out and smiled at me. "I'll get you a towel and meet you downstairs." He said, kissing my cheek quickly before he dashed down the stairs. I shook my head and smiled. He was so excited about going swimming, it was like being a child again.

I pulled my favorite swim suit out of my bag and closed the door over, so I could change. I could hear Ella talking to Jesse in a scolding tone downstairs. I slipped my damp clothes off and hung them on the clothes line that was connected to the window. I slipped on my bathing suit and looked myself over in the mirror. I took out the bow in my hair and fixed up my ponytail. I smiled at myself, because I looked good.

My favorite swimsuit was red with white polka dots. It tied around my neck, had a sweetheart neck line that just covered the tops of my chest. The nylon material covered my entire torso and stopped just underneath my butt. I smiled as I turned and looked at myself from each angle. This was going to be fun. I grabbed the hat that Ella gave me, my pair of black sandals, that some people called "flip-flops" because of the founds that they made when they clicked against your heels, and a pair of black sunglasses, that I had seen Audrey Hepburn wear, and headed downstairs. At the bottom, Ella was holding onto a towel and glaring at Jesse, who was smiling back. I could only imagine the smart alike remark that he had given her. He was wearing a pair of dark blue swimming trunks, which reached mid thigh and clung to his legs, and a white t-shirt. He glanced up at me and dropped his smile. Just the reaction I was going for. Ella gave me a knowing smile and handed me the towel.

"Behave yourselves." She said and smiled at her.

"Of course." I said and walked out the front door leaving him to watch me walk away.

I wrapped the towel around my waist, when I saw Julio and slipped on the flip-flops, sunglasses and tied the hat around my head. I sat on the step and waited for Jesse to…pull himself together and meet me out here. I didn't have to wait long, but I had to wait none the less. When he came out, he coughed and walked right by me. I smiled and shook my head.

"Ready?" He said, heading to the path at top speed. I laughed quietly and chased after him. I walked behind him, just to go easy on the poor guy. But when we got to the steep hill, he held out his hand for me and helped me down the hill without slipping, or cutting his feet.

The beach was quiet, except for the waves and the gulls, but it was beautiful. The sand was a pale golden colour and the water was so blue. I folded my towel and put the hat and sunglasses on top. Jesse had thrown his towel on the ground and pretty much ripped off his shirt. He raced into the water and dove under. I on the other hand, liked to take things slow. I walked into the water and shivered when the cold water reached my thighs.

"Come on, Susanna. It's not that cold." He teased, about a 12 feet away from me. He was treaded water so I knew it was deep.

"It's freezing."

"Only because you're hot." He said. I looked at him and smiled.

"Thank you. You're not so bad yourself."

"I meant from working in the field." He shook his head with a smile. "Hurry up! Or I'll come and get you."

"Don't you even think about it!" I said. But I knew, as the words left my lips that he would do just that. He inched forward and I felt my heart race. "No Jesse!" I said holding my hands up as his torso appeared above the water and he moved closer and closer. He just laughed at me. I started to back up but he was to fast for me. He smiled down at me, before he picked me up and raced into the water. I screamed and screamed but he didn't stop. Then the cold water hit me and I gasped, choking on some water. When I surfaced I coughed out the water and shook my head.

"Thanks!" I said and he smiled.

"You were taking to long." He said swimming out farther and I swam after him. I stopped swimming and floated on my back, closing my eyes and feeling the sun on my face. I will admit that this cold water felt really good on my hot skin.

"Do you always do that when you go swimming?" He whispered in my ear and I jumped.

"What? Float?" I asked, without even opening my eyes.

"Be extremely boring!" He teased and went under the water before I could punch him. I looked around for a sign of movement but there was none. No bubbles nothing. I could feel my heart start to race, knowing that he would appear any moment and scare me.

"Jesse! That's not funny!" I said hoping he would hear me. I waited but he didn't resurface. All of a sudden a hand grabbed my ankle and I was pulled under water. He was there in front of me and smiled foolishly. I, to the best of my ability, rolled my eyes and kicked to the surface.

I resurfaced before he did and jumped on him when he did, catching him off guard and making him choke on the water. I laughed at my accomplishment and he shook his head.

"Very funny." He said, smiling.

"Well you know…I am the funniest person there is."

"Is that right?" He said, moving closer.

"Yes. You'll never meet anyone else like me." I said and dove under the water. I swam away from his legs and tried not to let any air leave my body, so there wouldn't be any bubbles.

When I surfaced he was no where to be found. I rolled my eyes and swam frantically to the shore. I wasn't going to let him catch me again, so for I thought. I had swum pretty far, but he had longer arms than I did so he caught up quickly. When he reached me, he resurfaced and pounced on me, pushing me under the water. I squirmed out of his grasp but he kept a hand on my wrist. I took a deep breath of air and wiped my eyes, with one hand. He smiled at me foolishly.

"I don't know how you can swim that fast." I said, panting.

"I'm a born swimmer." He said.

"Oh really?" I rolled my eyes.

"Yes." He moved closer. It turned away from him and started walking to the beach, but he still had a firm grip on my wrist. "Where you going?"

"To get my towel." I said, looking nervously at him.

"Why are you so afraid of me?" He asked, walking closer to me.

"I'm…I'm not afraid…of you." I shuddered as he inched closer and closer.

"You run every time I try to get close." He said. I looked into his eyes and saw pain and confusion. I sighed and shook my head.

"I'm not scared of you, I'm scared of me." He looked at me curiously. "I mean, I'm afraid of what I might let happen."

"Susanna. I would never do that to you. I would never even…I wouldn't." He said looking into my eyes and speaking with complete sincerity.

"Ok." I said and nodded. He pulled me into his arms and held me. His skin was cool to the touch and the muscles in his back were strong and tight. I moved my hand slightly on his back and his skin broke out in Goosebumps. I smiled and moved my hand again. For some reason this new power of mine fascinated me. I pressed my lips to his shoulder and he shivered. I moved my lips along his shoulder to his collar bone, gently move an inch/second. I jumped up, which wasn't difficult in water, and wrapped my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck. He held on to me and stared at me. I stared back and then smiled. He rolled his eyes and shook his head. "Ha!" I laughed.

"That's not very nice Susanna." He said, with a sigh.

"What's not very nice?" I said playing the coy character.

"Teasing. Not very nice." He said, still holding on to me.

"It's fun though. You're so easy to wind up!" I said and kissed his neck, just under his ear. He exhaled a shaky breath.

"Susanna…" He groaned. I kissed his neck again and again, enjoying the sound his throat made when I kissed it. I smiled as he groaned again. "Susanna. You just said you were scared. That you didn't…didn't…" I stopped kissing him. What was I doing? I had been so nervous about what I would let myself do, what he would do. Now that I knew he wasn't going to do anything unless I wanted to I felt like I wanted to. I dropped my legs and let go.

"I'm sorry." I sighed. "Come on lets go back to the house."

"We don't have to go back." Jesse said. He held my hand all the way to the shore and then laid out his towel beside mine and laid beside me.

"What do you dream about?" He asked me. I slipped the sunglasses on and sighed.

"Well…I dream about…going to school and what the next years will hold for me. I dream about dances and my friends, sometimes movie stars coming into the café." I laughed at that, and he chuckled.

"Sounds interesting."

"They are. Sometimes funny, sometimes sad. I remember when I was 12 I really wanted a puppy. For 3 weeks I had the same dream every night about this little black Scottie that I found on the side of the road and Mom just let me keep it, despite her allergies." I smiled as I remembered. "It went away when I got my first crush and I started dreaming about him instead." Jesse chuckled. "What do you dream about?"

"I dreamt that I won a million dollars once and I was the most popular person in the entire world. I've dreamt that I moved back to Spain and met my brother's family over there. I've dreamt about owning this house and what changed I would make to it." Jesse sighed.

"Hopefully you won't make to many changes when we're gone." Ella said from the pathway. She was in a yellow sundress with a white bonnet and sunglasses, carrying a red and white checkered blanket. Julio smiled behind her and he was wearing red swimming shorts and a big white t-shirt. He had a baseball cap on from New York which made me smile.

"Sorry Ma, I didn't mean it-"

"Dear, it's normal to want to make changes when you know this house is going to be yours one day. My biggest fear is that your changes will be your own ideas and that they won't have a woman's touch. That is what truly scares me." She smiled at me and I chuckled. I helped her lay out the blanket and we all sat on it.

"We thought that we would bring down some food and spend the day on the beach."

"Sounds good." Jesse said, opening the picnic basket as soon as it was on the blanket. "What are we eating?"

"Jesse! Be patient please." Ella shook her head. "Sorry Susanna. He doesn't have manners. His father's son and all." She shrugged. Julio shook his head, completely understanding what she had just said. He whispered something in her ear which made her blush and smiled to herself. "I hope not." She said back.

Jesse cringed and gave me a frown. I couldn't help but smile back. This kind of love was rare to me so it made me happy to see that people actually loved each other these days. I knew my parents loved each other to an extent, but it was nothing like this.

"So have you told Susanna about the party tomorrow?" Ella said, offering a bowl of chopped up grapes and strawberries, oranges and other fruits.

"Party?" I asked taking a bit out of a ripe strawberry.

"There is a party at one of the farm houses down the street tomorrow night. They have one at the end of every summer. We go every year." Jesse said, lying beside me, eating a sandwich.

"A couple of the farms from around here get together every now and then and throw a big pot luck dinner. Seeing as it is you last night here, we weren't sure if you would like to go." Ella said.

"Of course. It sounds like fun." I said.

"It is fun." Ella said.

"There is music and games, and a lot of food. And its good food too."

"Well that's a bonus. I can't stand eating bad food." I joked and Ella chuckled.

"Listen here missy." Jesse said tickling me briefly. "There's a lot of dancing too."

"Huh…I never took you as the dancing type." I lied. Jesse placed a hand to his heart and looked pained.

"I am the best dancer around." He said.

"Apart from me." Ella said, with a smile.

"WE are the best dancers around." He said. "Come on Mama. Let's show them." He said holding out his hands to his mother.

"Not now Jesse."

"Come one Mama. I know you want to." Jesse whined.

"Vamos." Julio encouraged and Ella sighed and stood up. She grabbed Jesse's hands and they started dancing. It was a fast dance, similar to the Jive, but they added their own twist to it. They were amusing to watch. Jesse was very light on his feet and led his mother into every move perfectly. Ella danced with grace and elegance.

"Beautiful." Julio said to me and I smiled at him and nodded.

"Certainly is." At that moment, as I looked at the boy who had said just last night that he loved me, an epiphany hit me. As he smiled at me from where he danced with his mother I knew he was the one I would spend the rest of my life with. There would be no other boy for me. No one would ever be able to make me fall this much in love with them as Jesse could.

I sat back, eating fruit and watched Ella and Jesse dance some more, thinking about what was in our future.


	24. A Night in the Barn

**A/N: This chapter is a little more…mature. If uncomfortable with mature scenes, you can skip this one and will miss nothing very important. The bigger things will be mention in the chapters to come.**

**-Thanks**

I laid in bed, looking up at the ceiling and listened to the sound that the night made around me. The afternoon on the beach had faded into the evening playing cards in the parlor and listening to songs on the small radio. Ella talked about the party tomorrow night while she stitched away. Jesse and Julio played a game of chess and I played solitaire by myself. At about 8 o'clock Ella told us all that it was bedtime and made us say our goodnights. I had packed my new nightgown, the yellow one that I had bought the day of the accident. Somehow it had survived without even a tear in it. It was light and short and would keep me cool during the hot night. But as I lay there, I could not find comfort or sleep. Something inside me was excited and restless and sleep was not going to come quickly.

I sighed and sat up. There was no noise in the house and all the lights were off. I walked to the window and looked out at the moonlit fields. I sighed and leaned on the window sill. I saw a fox race across the tall grass, I saw an owl swoop down in the sky to catch its meal, and I watched the stars twinkle in the sky. I looked towards the barn and my heart skipped. There was a light shinning from a small window at the top of the barn. I smiled and bit my lip. I grabbed the white through blanket at the end of the bed and wrapped it around my shoulders.

Quietly I opened the door and listened for movement. I heard a loud snoring from Ella's room and a soft hum of sleep. I tiptoed past their bedroom and crept down the stairs. I looked at the front door and remembered how squeaky the screen door was. So I went out the back door. It creaked once and I froze. Julio stopped snoring and everything was dead silent. I waited, barely breathing and when I heard snoring again I exhaled and shut the door. I raced down the stairs and skipped across the grass to the barn door. I took a deep breath and opened the door.

It was very quiet in the barn, apart from the breathing of the animals and the turning of pages from Jesse. I crept passed the sleeping animals, which didn't really matter because they stirred slightly when I walked by, their ears pricking up and whining a bit. I looked at the tall ladder that led up to Jesse's bunk and took a breath. I hung the white blanket over the fence to an empty stall and thanked God that I had packed a short nightgown, and was able to climb up the ladder.

I took each rung slow and steady, barely making a sound. About half way up Jesse turned the light off. I started to panic and almost fell off the ladder. I was so scared of heights and I was somewhat scared of the dark. I don't know why I thought that this idea was a good one. Before I could turn around and go down I reached the top. It was a little difficult to climb up in the dark and especially difficult to do this quietly.

"Who's there?" Jesse said, with fear yet danger in his voice.

"It's me." I puffed as I pulled myself up onto the loft.

"Susanna?" Jesse said. His bed creaked and he jumped out of bed.

"Yea it's me."

"What are you doing up here?" He asked. I couldn't hear his voice but I felt his hands reach out for me in the darkness. I grabbed on to them and he pulled me closer to him. I felt my chest collide with his and I sighed, knowing that I was safe from falling off. He wrapped his arms around me and I laid my head against his bare, hard chest. I could hear his heart beat and this relaxed me. "Are you alright?" He asked me when I never answered. I searched my brain for a reason of why I had come up here but I couldn't find one. I sighed and looked up. I could see the outline of his face but couldn't make out every feature.

"Susanna?" His voice sounded concerned. I reached up on my tip toes, pulled his head down to mine and kissed him. At first it was a very chaste kiss, but then as I realized that I had come up here for more than this, I deepened the kiss. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he pulled my waist closer to his body. His tongue grazed mine and I sighed deeply. His hands ran up and down my back, gently and slowly, teasing me with each light touch. When I ran my hands down his chest he shuddered. I moved my kisses to his neck and then his chest and he groaned with each kiss.

When my mouth reached his he pulled me up and I wrapped my legs around his torso. His hands touched my bare skin, on my legs and it was like I could hear his thoughts in his head. He was hard against me and the fact that there was a thin bit of material separating us drove him crazy. He stopped being so frustratingly gentle and kissed my more passionately. He laid me down on the bed and it creaked loudly when he climbed on top.

I felt his hand drift to the bottom of my nightgown and felt his hand touch my body as it drift up to my chest. When his rough hand cupped my breast I gasped with pleasure and he froze. I panicked when he didn't move.

"What's wrong?" I panted and he got off of me. He sat on the edge of the bed, shaking and rubbing his face. "Jesse?" I felt tears in my eyes for some strange reason and the only thing I could link it to was embarrassment. "Please. Tell me what's wrong!" I begged.

"You…I thought…Are you sure you want to do this?" He sighed. "It could change everything."

"What do you mean?" I sat up and inched closer.

"I mean, you don't know what could happen in the future. What if…" I realized that he was nervous too and this made me love him even more. I put my hands on his shoulders and kissed his neck, gently, slowly, teasing him. "Susanna, if we do this. We can't have any regrets." He sighed.

"I'm not going to ever regret this Jesse. I…well…I want this. I want you!" I said fear suddenly filled my heart when he went stiff. I felt like an idiot for telling him this. I mean who says that? It felt like years before he moved again.

"Are you sure?" He asked again, turning his head to look at me. I could see his eyes studying my face, inch by inch.

"Yes." The word was barely a whisper. He looked into my face and leaned over and kissed me. I cupped his face with my hands and kissed him. He leaned towards me and before I knew it we were back to where we were 10 minutes before. Only this time things changed.

My nightgown was on the floor next to the bed and my bare chest was against his. I could feel his heart beat through my skin and the feeling was amazing. His mouth left my lips and traveled down to my breasts the feeling of his lips, his tongue, excited me and took my breath away.

As he hands touched my hips, my underwear, he stopped moving. I thought he was going to ask me one more time and I never wanted this to end. I grabbed his hands and pulled down my own underwear and tossed them to the side. He gazed at me and exhaled a shaky breath. I didn't give him another moment to be nervous I grabbed his head and pulled him closer to me. I gasped when I felt him enter my body. He was warm and hard and it sent shivers up my spine.

It didn't last long but it was…the best feeling I had ever experienced. We rose and fell together, perfectly in sync. His body was made to fit mine, like two puzzle pieces. When it was over, he collapsed against my chest and we lay there, breathing heavily and letting the feeling over pure pleasure wash over our bodies.

He rolled off of me and laid on the bed beside me. He opened his arms and I leaned against his chest. He stroked my hair back and kissed my neck. I shivered, finally feeling how truly cold it was in the barn. He grabbed the blanket from the bottom of the bed and pulled it up to cover us. His left arm, the one I leaned on, rested in between my breast and his right hand stroked my thigh.

"Susanna?" He mumbled into my hair, waking me from my dozing state.

"Mmhmm?" I answered rubbing my cheek on his arm.

"Will you…do something for me?" I nodded my head, only partially listening to what he was saying for sleep was taking over me. "Susanna?" He shook me slightly and his hand slid into me and shook me from my sleep. I gasped and he chuckled. "Stay awake for a least a little bit longer." He said, his hand leaving me.

"Ok, I'm awake. What is it?" I said, pretending to be displeased.

"I want you to...will you come back here and visit?" He said.

"Of course." I said.

"Even if…If I don't come back." My heart broke.

"Don't talk like that Jesse!" I sat up and looked at him. "You're not going to die." I said, trying to convince myself that more than him. I saw the look in his eyes and he looked very doubtful.

"Well, will you visit them at Christmas time then?" He sighed and rubbed his face. "They'd really like to see you again. It would…well….it would be good for them."

"I will visit your parents, but not as your "dying wish", because I want too." I smiled slightly down at him and he just stared back. I bent down and kissed him. His kiss was deep and passionate with the feeling of regret and longing intertwined in it. I leaned my chest against his and studied his face. He was hotter in the moonlight. I sighed and placed my head on his chest. I closed my eyes and listened to his heart beat. Before I knew it, I was asleep.

------

"Susanna, wake up." Jesse nudged me and I opened my eyes. I was lying on my stomach at the edge of the cot. I lifted my head and rubbed my eyes, trying to make them see a little better.

"What time is it?" I said putting my head back down on the pillow.

"5." Jesse was standing in front of me putting on a pair of pants.

"In the morning?" I groaned.

"Obviously it is not the evening." He said smiling over his shoulder. "But you should get dressed because my father wakes up in half an hour." I jumped out of bed and grabbed my night gown. I threw it over my head and looked around for my underwear. But there were not to be found.

"What's wrong?" Jesse said, standing in front of me.

"I…um…can't find something…" I said, biting my lower lip.

"What are you looking for?" He asked moving closer. The front of my night gown had buttons on it and they started from the chest and up. Jesse touched the buttons and started doing up my nightgown for me, kissing my chest with each button.

"That's not helping!" I sighed.

"It's not supposed to." He chuckled. He stopped buttoning my nightgown at the fourth button, which left some of my collar bone showing. He kissed me one last time and headed for the ladder.

"I'll go first!" I shouted and started climbing down before he could. How humiliating would that be, for him to look up and see…ugh! I took each step cautiously and slowly and shook with the early morning. At the bottom I found the blanket where I had left it and I tossed it around my shoulders and waited for Jesse to reach the bottom.

"Come on." He said wrapping his arm around my shoulder and we walked back to the house. Outside the back door his pressed me up against the wall and kissed me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and sighed.

"See you later." I said and he nodded. I opened the screen door and looked back at him. I listened for sounds of movement and when heard nothing I raced upstairs to his room and shut the door. I collapsed on the bed and smiled. What a night!!


	25. The Barnyard Party

There was knock on the door and I jumped up. I looked around and sighed. I had forgotten that I was back in the room. The night with Jesse had tired me out and I was still exhausted the next morning. I smoothed out my nightgown before I answered the door. Ella stood before me and she smiled at when I came into focus. She looked me over and her brows creased slightly at the sight of my short night gown. I crossed my arms over my chest, self-consciously, and smiled back.

"Morning." I said, yawning slightly.

"Morning dear. Time for breakfast."

"Oh ok, thanks."

"You don't have to work today. We're going to spend the day making food for the party. Sorry, it will be boring but it will be worth it in the end." She smiled and winked at me. "Just wear something light, because it will get very hot in the kitchen."

"Ok, I will. Thanks." She looked at me, smiled and then her eyes narrowed in on something in my hair. She looked at me for a second studying me very carefully, before she smiled and turned away. "Foods ready in 5 minutes." She said over her shoulder.

"Thanks."I said and shut the door quickly. I rushed to the mirror and looked at the spot that Ella had studied. My heart sank when I pulled a chunk of hay out of my hair. She knew! She had to know. I groaned and sat back on the bed. It wasn't hard for her to figure out that her son and I had spent the night together last night, especially since there was HAY in my hair and the only hay around here was in the barn. I shook my head and groaned.

I grabbed a light blue dress that had a v-shape neckline and stopped at the top of my cleavage, with a white bow that hid anything immodest. I pulled my messy black hair into a ponytail and tied a white bow into my hair. I took a deep breath and headed downstairs.

------

The day passed by so quickly that before I realized it, Ella was showing me how to work the bath tub so I could get ready for the party. Jesse and Julio had been out in the field all day and I hadn't seen one bit of Jesse since very early this morning when he walked me back to the house. Ella and I, like she had said, spent the whole day in the kitchen. We started off the cooking with a roast and an apple pie and finished with a batch of chocolate chip cookies and little cakes that were covered in vanilla icing and sprinkles for the kids.

As I sat I washed myself in the bathtub I thought over what was going to happen at this party. I was going to meet people that Jesse had known all his life and they were going to judge me and study me, watch my every move, or at least that's what I was afraid that they would do. So I had to be extra careful around these people. I didn't want them to get a bad impression of me.

I wrapped a towel around my body and turned on the blow dryer. I flipped my hair upside down and started blow drying my hair straight. When I was finished I curled the ends, with a curling iron, that I had borrowed from Ella, and put on the yellow dress that I was going to wear to the party. It was a light yellow, not too hard on the eyes, with white lace on the bottom and a white petty coat that gave it just the right amount of "poof" to make it look pretty. It had a white sash that was sown on with a white bow on the back and had a round neck line. I topped the outfit off with a set of pearls and make up and I was set to go. I debated whether or not I should wear a bow in my hair, but with the way that it was curled, a bow was not going to match this outfit. I smiled at myself and left the bathroom.

When I went downstairs Ella was sitting at the table writing a letter to someone. She was wearing a blue dress that had short sleeves, which were lined with white lace. The collar was white lace and it just lined her collar bone. Her hair was in a neat bun and she had some mascara on, nothing compared to the way my mother wore make-up. I smiled at her and shook my head at how completely opposite they were. Julio was at the sink washing his hands. He was wearing brown dress pants, with black suspenders and a white dress shirt, rolled up at the elbows and a red tie. He had brushed his graying hair back and put on after shave that smelt like the woods. Ella smiled at me as I walked in and Julio nodded with approval.

"You look lovely Susanna." She said. "That's a beautiful dress."

"Thank you." I blushed. "Your dress is lovely too."

"Oh this old thing. I wear it almost every year!" She shook her head with pity. This was the first sign that she showed unhappiness with her farm life. Julio sensed it too and gave her shoulder a quick squeeze before he left the kitchen. She sighed and watched him leave. I sat at the table across from her and folded my hands on the table.

"Who are you writing to?"

"Diego. His wife, somehow, miraculously had another baby."

"I thought she was…"

"Yes well…these things happen."

"Well congratulations. You're a grandma again." I smiled brightly and she groaned.

"I'm too young to be a grandmother." She sighed and Jesse's laughter rang behind me.

"Yea ok." Jesse said. My heart jumped at the sound of his voice and I froze, a smile pasted on my face. Ella looked at me, with an annoyed expression and I gulped and smiled back, giving a slight shrug.

"Listen here mister. If you want to live to see tomorrow you better be nice to your mother!" She said, grabbing the front of his shirt as he tried to walk to the fridge. She pulled his face close to hers and looked in his eyes. He smiled that mischievous smile, back at her and I practically saw her heart melt. "Don't smile at me like that." She said releasing his shirt. He kissed her cheek, gave me a wink and went to the fridge.

"So, ready for the party Susanna?" Jesse said pouring himself a glass of milk.

"I think so." I sighed nervously.

"Don't worry. They're all really friendly." Ella said, between words.

"Well some of them." Jesse smiled as Ella shook her head. "Just stick with me…I'll take care of you." He smiled at me and I blushed back. I shook my head slightly and looked down at my hands.

"Don't listen to him honey. Everyone there is very friendly. You'll have so many people talking to you that you won't even have time to remember their names." Ella smiled reassuringly. I nodded back and looked to Jesse who was studying me carefully. I quirked an eyebrow and he gave me that same grin he had given his mother moments ago. I, like Ella, had my heart melted instantly. There was just something about his smile that did that to you. Maybe it was the way it turned up at left and gave it a crooked shape. Or maybe it was the ways his eyes twinkled mischievously. Whatever it was…it worked very well on all women. I looked away and studied the flowers on the table.

Julio came into the kitchen minutes later and looked at Jesse. Jesse put his cup in the sink and headed out the door. Ella looked up at them and folded the paper in half.

"Time to go dear." She said. She handed me the apple pie and put the pot with the roast in it in a basket so she wouldn't burn herself. She put the cookies on top of the pot and balanced that and the cakes as she left the kitchen. I took a deep breath and prepared myself for the Barnyard Party.

-------

We had walked about 5 minutes down the road and stopped a brown barn house and a matching barn. The house was huge compared to Ella's house. I had to stop and stare for a moment to take in the size of the house. But it didn't last long before I took in the surroundings of the house. Children ran everywhere. Three boys were chasing a large black dog, and Alano raced ahead to meet up with his canine friend.

"Don't be scared." Jesse whispered into my hair. I got instant Goosebumps, but nodded them away. He placed his hand lightly on my back and we followed Julio and Ella to the back of the house and were greeted by a big banner and a crowd of cheering people. The banner read "Welcome Home Jesse." This was sweet in a way, seeing as he was leaving the very next day. His hand dropped from my back as people rushed towards them and hugged him, or shook his hands.

A tall woman kissed Ella on both cheeks and took the basket from her. She wore a bright red dress that looked very expensive. Ella commented on the dress and the woman gloated that her husband had just bought it for her. Ella nodded with a slight smile and I instantly felt anger towards this woman, like the way I felt when talking to Adam's mother, who also showed off her money so shamelessly.

"Marcy this is Susanna." Ella said giving me a smile. I smiled at her, to the best of my ability.

"Nice to meet you Susanna." Marcy stuck her polished hand to me. I looked at the expensive rings on her hands, and the manicured nails and smiled. This was the kind of woman that I was surrounded by every day. I shook it and smiled brightly.

"Nice to meet you as well." I said, raising my head proudly, as my mother had taught me. "You have quite a lovely house." I said. She smiled at me brightly, taking obvious pride in her well done up house. "I mean its one of the nicer houses I've seen, compared to our city homes." I said, checking my nails.

"Oh you come from the city?" Marcy said, looking down at me. From past experience with women like this, they like the life of luxury. And luxury normally came from big houses close to the city, where people would drive by and take envy.

"Yes I do. My father is the chef editor of the paper so we have to live in the city." I shrugged like it was no big deal. Ella just watched with curiously.

"Well…that's…that sounds reasonable."

"Yes, well he also is the coach of the football team. So mother just insisted that we live in the city. But I just think she likes living there because it's right around the corner from the shops and the nail salon. She gets her nails done every three days." I rolled my eyes. "It's sad really, how much money she waists on the nails, when she could be using it for better things like my university funds." I sighed. Taking the role of the spoiled child was never my forté, it was more of Debbie's, but this woman bothered me.

"University? You're going to University?"

"Of course. I mean, it's only proper that a girl gets a good education. It's all people look at now. Money and Education are the things that get people through life these days." I shrugged. "So I'm going to school for nursing." I said, smiling brightly. She gave me a half smile, clearly thinking about her own life and lack of education.

"Well that's wonderful." She said, giving me a fake smile. "I'll just take that from you. Have fun dear. There's tons of food around, make yourself at home." She smiled at Ella and then disappeared.

"What was that about?" Ella whispered to me, smiling at another neighbour.

"She's too stuck up. I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. She just needed to be knocked down a peg." I said quoting my father.

"Well…I thought it was quite amusing. Almost everything you said, she has dreamed about. I mean the house in the city, the constant pampering and sending her daughter off to university. That was one thing she would've loved to do, but farm life doesn't come with that perk." Ella sighed. "It is fascinating how you picked up on that."

"Just because she lives in the country doesn't make her that much different in personality as those who live in the city. I just played on that fact. But I am sorry if I caused trouble for you."

"Oh dear. I can handle Marcy Prescott." Ella rolled her eyes. "Come I want you to meet some more people." She said taking my hand and leading me to meet everyone that lived around her. One couple she introduced me as Jesse's girlfriend. They studied me and gave me a smile at the end. Another couple she introduced me as Jesse's girlfriend from the city. This couple gave me more of a response. By the end I was Jesse's rich girlfriend from the city, who was university bound and was going to change the world. I shook my head as Ella added a small detail to each introduction. She was having more fun with my life than I was. She shrugged when I looked at her curiously, and then smiled.

"Having fun?" Jesse said coming up behind me.

"Yes, I am. I think you're mother is having fun introducing me to people." I smiled fondly at the small woman. Jesse was silent for a moment and just watched her. His forehead had a crease in it and he looked very thoughtful.

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing." He said.

"Come on. Tell me." I smiled at him.

"She likes you." He said.

"And that's bad?" I chuckled slightly.

"No that's amazing! She hasn't liked any of the other…well…"I placed my hands on my hips and looked at him.

"Any of the other what?" I said raising an eyebrow. As if on queue a high pitched squeal erupted from behind me.

"JESSE!!!" A girl's voice came from behind me. Jesse looked at the girl and then groaned, but put a smile on his face. People turned to watch a girl raced around me and throw herself at Jesse, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck. "It's SOOOOO good to see you!" She sang.

"Hey, Kelly." Jesse said, patting her back lightly and giving me a worried look. I tried not to be annoyed, but it was hard. The girl let go of Jesse and sighed. She had died blonde hair, like Marylyn Monroe, only it was long and wavy. Her lips were red and pouty and her eyes were a deep blue colour. Her skin was tanned and her dress showed off her thin physic perfectly. What I found most amusing was that she was wearing the dress that I had seen at the store when Mom and I went to look for a dress for the formal. The Red Dress. People started to turn away and go back to their conversations. "Kelly this is Susanna." Jesse said, wrapping an arm around my shoulder. Kelly looked at Jesse curiously; a streak of hurt crossed her face, before she looked at me. She smiled, but it was a stuck up smile.

"So this is the famous Susanna." She said, looking me over very carefully before landing on my eyes. "My mothers already told me _sooo_ _much about_ _you._"She said. I smiled, to the best of my ability and stuck out my hand.

"I'm sorry. I haven't heard a thing about you." I said sweetly but she caught on to my hostility. Jesse gave a slight chuckle and Kelly grabbed my hand tightly.

"I'm Kelly Prescott." She said raising her hands to the house. "This is my house.

"It's very nice." I said. She smiled slightly.

"Must be nothing compared to your _city_ house." She snarled and I shrugged.

"Kelly and I are old friends." Jesse said, to ease the tension between us.

"Old friends? Jesse! We're more than that!" Kelly laughed. "We were a couple just a little while ago." She said looking directly into my eyes. I held back my own snarl with a smile.

"Kelly it was like eons ago." Jesse said, with a sigh.

"Maybe, but I was the longest girl you've ever dated. Two whole years we dated for!" She said proudly. "Remember?" She said grabbing Jesse's hand playfully. He smiled at her and nodded.

"I remember." She giggled.

"Jess, be a dear and get us girls some juice, we're parched out here, aren't we Susan?" I glared at her when she said my name wrong.

"Defiantly Parched." I said with a snap. Jesse glanced at me nervously before he headed off to the punch bowl.

"Come and sit with me Susan." She said sweetly. She led me to a bench that was under a big willow tree.

"So, how do you like it here?" She said, with complete disinterest.

"It's beautiful out here."

"Has he shown you the beach yet?" She asked. I studied her carefully.

"Yes. We spent the day there yesterday. Ella even made us a picnic basket and the four of us spent the day there." I smiled remember the fun. "He taught me how to dance." I said. She frowned slightly.

"Hmmm…you'll have to show us later." I panicked. This was a dangerous girl and I had to be careful when speaking with her.

"Well, I'm up for it, but I don't know about Jesse. He likes to dance with his mother the most." I said, watching him talk to a young boy, about 13. The boy looked up at him fondly and I could tell they were talking about the army.

"So how long have you known each other?" She asked crossing her legs and flipping her hair to one side.

"2 months." So I rounded the time, what she didn't know wouldn't hurt her. She smiled at me. She had one this round.

"Is he your first?" She gazed into my eyes and gave me a troubling smile. My first what? Boyfriend? Love? Lover? How was I supposed to know what she meant?

"Umm…first?"

"Yea, you know…" She smiled at me, her eyes practically glaring. I choked on my breath and couldn't even think of an answer.

"I…um…"I shook my head and frowned.

"Well…he was _my_ first." She said, stroking her calf. I glared at her. Had she slept with him too? Is that what she meant by first? I watched her and she gave me a knowing smile. I felt rage build up in my chest. Luckily Jesse came over and saved me from striking her.

"What are you talking about?" Jesse asked, taking a seat beside me, passing us our cups of juice.

"Oh you know Jess, just girl stuff." Kelly said, taking a sip of her juice and studying the people around her.

"Have you said hi to the rest of the girls yet Jesse?" She said smiling brightly. Jesse sighed.

"Not yet." He shook his head and looked tired all of a sudden.

"Well you must! Come on. You don't mind if I steal him do you?" She dared me to say no. I smiled brightly.

"Not at all!" I snapped, but with a smile. She nodded and grabbed his arm pulling him away. He gave me a curious look over his shoulder and left me to sit, on the bench…by myself.


	26. Sweet Goodbyes

The party passed in an embarrassing lull. When the dinner bell was rung, Mrs. Prescott approached me with a grim expression. She told me that since I was unexpected that there was only one seat available for me, and that was at the KIDS table. I smiled as I looked at it. I was stuck between a 4 year old boy and a 6 year old girl who were clearly brother and sister, by their bright red hair and freckles and who were also clearly mad at each other. They kept reaching around me and pinching each other. About halfway through the meal the brother got so angry that he picked up a piece of his cake and threw it at his sister. Only it never reached his sister it hit me square in the chest. I gasped and smiled slightly down at the apologizing boy.

After I attempted to clean my dress and went back outside, dinner was over and people were dancing. When Kelly spotted me she smiled at me smugly and noticed the dark stain on my dress. She called me out to the dance floor and told me to show everyone what I learned. I gulped and Jesse looked at me curiously. He held out his hand to me and we danced, cautiously around the floor. I stepped on his feet twice and he laughed it off. When we were done everyone clapped and Kelly scowled. It didn't take her long to swoop in and take him away. Each time say "You don't mine Susan, do you?" Those words burned into my brain for the rest of eternity.

When Ella started saying goodbye, at 11:30, I practically collapsed with relief. Julio was going to stay a little longer and Kelly told Jesse that he had to stay too, but that didn't mean that I had to stay. So Ella and I said our thank you's and good by's and we left the party. Alano walked beside Ella, who linked her arm through mine for support because she had drunk a bit too much. I laughed at the way she spoke of the stuck up old cows and then she started singing in Spanish, but the way the tune was sung and the way the words left her lips I could tell it was a song to be sung when your drunk and that it was vulgar. I helped her up to her room and she kissed my cheek.

"Thank you Susanna. I'm so happy that you came to visit us." She smiled at me with glossy eyes. "I'll be proud to call you my daughter one day." I looked at her shocked and confused. She patted my shoulder and closed the door, humming as she went to get ready for bed and leaving me at the door completely shocked. I walked back to the bedroom and shut the door. I sat on the edge of the bed and shook my head. She thought that Jesse and I were going to get married. It was like she _knew_. I unzipped my dress and hung it over a chair. I slipped off my stockings and slip and went through my case to find a clean night gown. But one was not to be found. I groaned as I realized I had packed for only two days. I looked around the room for an answer and spotted Jesse's dresser. He would have a t-shirt or something that was big enough to cover me.

I opened the top drawer and closed it when I spotted his underwear. I blushed, obviously, but kept going. At the third drawer I found old t-shirts. I found a black one that was just big enough to cover my bottom and a little bit of my thigh. I shrugged and threw it on over my naked chest. I slipped the drawer closed and crawled into the bed. I switched off the bedside lamp and sighed. What a night…

-----

I awoke to a noise outside the window. I froze in place with my eyes open and listened carefully. It came from the window on my right side and it was a heavy breathing sound. I listened carefully and instantly regretted leaving the window opened. As the sound got louder I realized that the person was climbing up the lattice outside the window. I jumped out of bed and sank against the wall on the other side of the room. I watched the as a shadow blocked the moonlight and then a dark leg slipped through the window. My heart was in my throat and I felt tears appear in my eyes. I couldn't believe that this was happening to me. I was going to die in this room…The figure stood in the dark and looked around the room. I pulled my knees closer to my chest and held my breath. I couldn't even scream I was so scared.

"Susanna?" I heard a whisper. I exhaled my breath when I realized it was Jesse.

"Yes." I whimpered, letting the tears fall down my face.

"Where are you?" He asked. I wiped the tears from my face and took a deep breath, pressing my head against the wall. After a moment I stood up and crawled back into the bed. Wanting to make it obvious that I was mad at him, I turned and faced the opposite direction.

"Are you mad at me?" He asked, crawling onto the bed beside me.

"No." I snapped.

"I didn't mean to scare you."

"I know." I said, honestly.

"Then why are you mad?" He said. I wasn't going to go for his bait, but anger filled me and I snapped I sat up and looked at him. Even in the dark I could tell he had been drinking a bit. He smelt like perfume and my heart sank.

"Did you have sex with Kelly?" I blurted out.

"What?" He asked, clearly surprised.

"Did-you-have-sex-"

"I heard you." He said. "No I never had sex with her."

"Oh…" My voice trailed off and I could feel my cheeks heat up at my embarrassment.

"Why would you think that?" He asked.

"Well…she said you were…she said you were her first. So I just assumed that that's what she meant."He sighed and rubbed his face, lying back on the bed. "I didn't mean to assume that but she just was so…"

"She wanted you to think that Susanna. That's what Kelly does." He placed one hand behind his head and one on his chest, staring at the ceiling. "She plays mind games."

"Then why did you date her for _two years_." I mocked.

"Because…"

"That's not an answer."

"Well, you saw her. She's hot!" He sighed and I gaped at him. I wasn't sure if I wanted to laugh at his stupidity or cry at his betrayal. So instead I slumped back to my previous position and tucked the covers under my chin. I pretty much shook with anger. "I didn't mean it that way Susanna."

"What other way could you mean that? It was pretty self explantitory."

"Susanna, let me explain." I didn't answer, so he knew I was listening. "I meant that, she's pretty and that's why I dated her for two years. Not for her personality or for her money or whatever. It was nice to have someone that pretty on my arm."

"Well why don't you go back with her instead of being stuck with plain, old me!" I snapped a tear running over the bridge of my nose.

"Oh Susanna." He sighed and placed a hand on my arm. "You are the better catch!" I rolled my eyes and pulled my arm away. He was just on a MAJOR roll tonight.

"I mean…well…you have so many things that she doesn't. You are prettier than her on the inside and the outside." I snorted at this cheesy comment which sounded all too familiar to me. All I could think about right now was Adam and how similar he spoke to me. "You are funny and smart, and my parents love you. You're beautiful and strong. You're-"

"Please stop." I sighed. I shuddered as I remembered pretty much the exact same speech coming from Adam. "I just don't understand why…why did you bring me here? After one month of writing each other letters you want me to meet your parents?" I turned and faced him. "Was it just because you wanted to sleep with me? Or was it to make your girlfriend jealous?"

"Susanna, listen to yourself." I sniffled, which let him know that I was crying. "You regret what happened last night don't you?" He said, softly. I looked at him, the moon on his face showed me every feature. I couldn't stop the tears from pouring down my face and the sob that left my lips. "I knew it." He sighed and pulled me into his chest. I sobbed into his black dress shirt and just let all my anger and frustration and pain go. "Susanna," Jesse said, rubbing my back once I had calmed down. "I'll never ever take you for granted. I'll never betray you like you are afraid of. I…I promise you that I will never be with another girl, for as long as I live." I snorted.

"You can't promise that." I wiped my eyes.

"I just did." I looked up at him and saw that he was completely serious. "I don't want anyone else but you." He said.

"But how do you know that it will work out? How can you be so sure?"

"I've never…ever felt this way about anybody. I feel like you suit this place. Like this is meant to be. There is nothing else meant for me, but to have you in my arms." I choked on the sob that was in my throat.

"That is the most romantic for someone to say I love you." I said, smiling at him. He rolled his eyes and smiled back.

"Yes, well…I said it."

"Not in so many words." I sighed, placing my head against his chest. "Actually you said it in more words." I chuckled at my trivial joke. He placed his hand under my chin and lifted it to his face.

"Susanna Simon, I love you. And when I come back from the army, I'm going to marry you!" I felt my eyebrows rise with shock and I just stared at him. He bent forward and kissed me. He kissed me deeply, his hand running down to my waist. I pulled away before it got to heavy.

"Who said I'll say yes?" I said with a smug smile. He groaned and rolled on top of me.

-----

I awoke to a knock on the door. I opened my eyes and smiled. He loved me and had shown it in _many_ ways. I looked around the room, which looked beautiful with the sun shinning on it, but looked even better with Jesse in the bed next to me. JESSE WAS IN THE BED NEXT TO ME! I freaked out as I realized this and I hit him.

"Wake up." I hissed and he groaned. "SHH! You're mother's outside the door." His eyes shot open and he rolled off the bed and hit the floor with a loud thump.

"Susanna? Are you ok?" She asked through the door.

"Uh…yup." I said as Jesse's head popped up beside then bed and he looked around frantically for his clothes. "Just uh…getting dressed." I laughed as he struggled to pull on his pants.

"Ok, well breakfast is in 20 minutes." She said, her voice trailing off down the hall. I giggled as Jesse popped up from the floor and sighed against the bed.

"Your not out of the clear yet. She'll be up to wake you in a minute." I whispered into his ear, and then kissed his neck. He groaned, turned towards me and kissed me. When he was satisfied he broke the kiss and hopped out the window, making it down the lattice in 2 seconds I watched him from the window and ducked back into the room when Ella's appeared at the front of the barn.

"Where were you last night?" She said. I curled up beneath the window and listened.

"I…well…I'll be honest Ma, because you hate when I lie…I had to much to drink. And I fell asleep in the bushes. I think I was trying to climb the lattice to get up to bed, but realized Susanna's up there so I just slept on the ground."

"You don't look very dirty, for sleeping on the ground." Suspicion filled her voice.

"Yes, well…the ground is just very clean." I covered my mouth to stifle the laughter.

"Mmhmm…well…Breakfast is in 20 minutes and then we're driving you to the bus station." She said with a sigh.

"Ma, Va a estar bien!" I crawled away from the window and picked out my traveling outfit that I had arrived in. I couldn't believe I was going home already. With a deep sigh I started getting ready for the life that I had always known, but never wanted to go back too.

-----

"Oh my boy! Please be safe!" Ella said, tears pouring down her face, when we were at the bus station. Julio stood behind her, one hand on each shoulder and stared at his son with tear filled eyes.

"Ma, I promise. I will be as safe as I can be. I will stay out of trouble and be a good boy." He smiled that crooked smile and his mother smacked him playfully. She looked at him and pulled him into a tight hug.

"This isn't funny Jesse! This is war. You have to be extra careful and always say your prayers." She said into his shoulder. He sighed and shook his head, but I could see the tears in his eyes too. I turned away to give the family a moment.

"Hold on missy. You're not getting away that fast." Ella said, releasing Jesse and wrapping me in a tight hug. Julio and Jesse exchanged words and hugged each other. "You come and visit me soon ok?" She said, looking into my eyes.

"I will." I smiled at her. "Maybe at Christmas time?"

"I would love for you to visit us then. I'm trying to get Diego to come and visit me too, so it will be a good Christmas…well somewhat good." She said looking sadly at me. I rubbed her shoulder and hugged her again.

"I'm going to miss you." I said to her and her arms tightened.

"I'll miss you too. But I shall write to you and fill you in on all the drama back home." She said chuckling.

"Ok. I will write you all the drama in the city." I said smiling. She nodded and kissed me on each cheek. Julio hugged me as well, which took my by surprise, but it made me feel loved and a part of the family. He held me at arms length and smiled, under his mustache.

"Come home." He said to me and I smiled brightly and nodded that I would come back. I got on the bus, leaving Jesse and his parents to say their final goodbyes and then he joined me. We sat silently, he held my hand tightly, and watched his parents disappear in the distance.

"I cant believe that two weeks have gone by that quickly." He said and I nodded in agreement. "Here." He said, holding out my hand and slipping the two rings onto my palm. I smiled at him and slipped them back on my finger. "Wear them…as a promise. I meant what I said last night."

"I'll never take them off."I smiled at him and he kissed me. I fell back into the spot I was meant to fill and we rode the rest of the way in silence, both thinking over the past blissful three days.

-----

We were back in Monroe and Jesse had half an hour to wait before his bus came. I really wanted to wait and see him off, but Gina was there waiting for me and from what it looked like, she had been waiting for a while. I smiled and waved to her, but she just nodded back. I frowned at this but turned back to Jesse.

"I had so much fun at your house. Thank you." I said.

"Cut the proper crap! It was amazing!" He said, pulling my close to him and kissing me deeply. I chuckled when he pulled away and sighed. The tears were starting to fill my eyes.

"I'll miss you."

"I wont be gone for long."

"Write to me often."

"Everyday!" He grabbed my hands and kissed each one before he let go. I stared at him, kissed him one more time and then picked up my case.

"I'll see you soon." He said, rubbing my cheek. I nodded, because the tears were too close to falling. One last kiss and I turned and left. On my way to Gina I spotted Maria and Paul. She was bawling and he was holding her tightly to his chest. I nodded to him, with a grim smile and continued on to where Gina sat.

"So, how was it?" She said with fake enthusiasm and I just looked at her.

"What's up?" I asked her and she went pale.

"Take a long look, because you're grounded for the rest of your life!" She said, shaking her head sadly. I looked over my shoulder and watched my soldier get on the bus and disappear behind its steel walls.


	27. Love Will Find a Way

Gina had filled me in all the way back to my house. Mom had been shopping yesterday and had bumped into Gina's mother, Jane. When she had asked how Gina's aunt was doing, Jane shook her head with confusion and told Mom that she had no idea what she was talking about. Apparently mother went home and told my father, well screamed at him and then Debbie called Gina and filled her in. When we pulled up the house, Gina looked at me with pity in her eyes.

"It was good plan…"Her voice trailed off.

"Honestly I don't feel bad right now. It was the BEST 3 days I have ever had in my ENTIRE life." I said with a sigh. Gina grinned at me and shook her head.

"Good luck in there."

"I'll call you if they try to murder me." I chuckled.

"Nuh-uh. I'm not getting involved any longer. I already got in trouble for helping you." Gina sighed.

"Thank you, by the way. I couldn't have done it without you." I grinned and shut the door. I waved to her as she backed out of the drive way and took a deep breath, ready to face the dragon.

-----

The house was completely quiet when I opened the door. The TV was off, the kitchen was quiet, apart from the fridge and there was no music coming from Debbie's room.

"Hello?" I yelled, cautiously.

"We're in here." Papa said. I gulped with fear and placed down my case and coat. I slipped off my shoes and went into the kitchen. Mom and Papa were sitting at the table, he had a mug of coffee and she just sat with her hands crossed.

"Hi." I said.

"How was your trip?" He asked me. I smiled slightly and nodded.

"It was good."

"How was Gina's aunt?" Mom snapped and I frowned. "Yes we know you didn't go!" I debated whether I should tell them I already knew that or not. I decided to go with the latter option.

"Well explain yourself!" Papa said.

"I…I…"I couldn't find the right way to start, so I stood there not saying anything.

"You went somewhere with him didn't you?" Mom snapped. I opened my mouth to speak, but I couldn't. So I just nodded my head and looked at my hands.

"Susanna!" Mom gasped and that guilt that I had said I didn't have filled my heart.

"Why would you lie to us?" Papa asked.

"I…I just wanted to meet his family. That was all."

"You went unchaperoned!" She squealed. "To a place where we don't know the people there. You lied to us and made us look like fools!" She was standing now. Papa gave her hand a tight squeeze and she sat back down.

"I'm…I'm sorry." I said. She huffed and didn't look at me. Papa just shook his head.

"I can't stand the sight of you!" The words were like a knife in my chest. I felt my breath catch and I held onto the chair to keep me standing.

"Did you…did you sleep with him?" Papa said, afraid to look at me.

"No Papa. I wouldn't do that." Ok I lied again, but if I had said yes they would've shipped me off to a all girls school and made me become a nun. He exhaled a breath and held Mom's hand tightly.

"How can we believe you?" Mom snapped.

"Mom…I may have lied about where I was going but I would never lie about…That!" I shrieked. She nodded, believing me, but never looking at me.

"You are never to speak to him again." Papa said sternly. When the words registered I felt my knees buckle.

"You aren't serious!" I said, disbelief filling my voice.

"Of course we're serious Susanna! This boy is trouble! He doesn't have the right to be in your life! So I don't want you to write to him anymore!" She said.

"You cant do that to me!" I screamed at her and she looked at me.

"You lied to us. This is your punishment!" She said standing so we were on the same level. Tears poured down my face.

"Ground me for a year. Take away everything I have, but don't do this to me!" I said looking at her cold face to Papa's sad one.

"This is what we think is best for you! He is not a good boy for you Susanna. So we are cutting him off! No more."

"How? How is he not good enough?" I screamed.

"He's too old for you for one thing!" Mom shouted back.

"What! Too old. Mother! HE'S 18!" I said shaking my head. "Papa's three years older than you."

"That's different." She said sitting down, studying her hands.

"That's not fair!" I shook my head with disbelief.

"Look at what you've become!" Papa said. "Our daughter, who never lied or kept secrets from us, meets some boy, who is fighting in the war, and completely forgets who she is and who WE raised her to be." He shouted. "It's concerning Susanna. You are our daughter and until you are married and moved out, then you can decide how you want to live. But until then, you are not to speak to him!" He said.

"I LOVE HIM! YOU cant stop me." Mom laughed at his.

"You're too young to know what love is!" She said.

"I know that I will never EVER love anyone else, the way I love him!"

"Wait and see Susanna." She said smugly. I wanted to throw a cup at her smug face.

"I WONT! I will never hold another boys HAND because it wont be Jesse's." Mom shook her head with pity.

"Ok. Then you will live and long and lonely life." She said. I stared at her incredulously.

"I hate you." I whispered. I saw her breath catch in her throat and she stopped and stared at her hands. "I hate you and I will until the day I DIE!" I said louder and raced up the stairs. I pushed past Debbie who was scrambling up the stairs and slammed the door to my bedroom.

I threw myself on my bed and screamed. I looked around the room, anger filling my core and anything I could move I picked up and threw! I through a pillow, a teddy bear, a picture frame which crashed into the door, I threw my telephone which crashed into the mirror on my vanity. After the glass stopped shattering I sat back and sobbed. I looked around my destructed room and sobbed harder.

------

"You know that's 7 years of bad luck!" Debbie said, when she looked around my room. It was the next day, at 9 in the morning. I had woken to my alarm and remembered that I had to work today. I debated if I wanted to quit working, but decided against it. I needed to money so I could buy my own apartment and move out! I was so ready to find any way to get back at them for ruining my life.

"Yea well…lets hope it doesn't cut anybody!" I said, stepping over the glass and heading to the bathroom.

"You're not going to clean it?" She asked completely shocked.

"It's not my HOUSE!" I shouted back at her. "I'm only PRISONER HERE! Even they have people who clean their cells." I snapped the words and slammed the door shut. I held onto the sink and took deep breaths. I noticed the rings on my finger and smiled. It was going to work out in the end.

------

Walking to work had calmed me down a lot and the busy shift had kept my mind off of things. But when my shift ended at 4:30 it was pouring and I didn't feel like walking in the rain. I thought about what Debbie had said and groaned. It was already starting!

I started to head home and got about 5 meters away when Mr. Knight in Shinning armor himself appeared at my side.

"Suse! Get in the car." Adam shouted from the drivers side.

"No thanks. I'd rather walk!" I said, not even looking at him.

"Come one Suse. You're gonna get a cold and school starts next week." I groaned and stopped moving. I looked at the sky and knew it wasn't about to let up anytime soon.

"Fine but you're to drop me off a block away from my house." I said as I slammed the door shut.

"Okay…"He said slowly, frowning at me. He was wearing his football jacket and cream coloured khaki pants. "So…" Adam said and I rolled my eyes.

"I'm not interested in talking right now Adam." He nodded and drove in silence. At the top of my street he put on his signal and pulled over.

"You sure you don't want me to park at your house?" He asked.

"No thank you!" I said opening the car door and closing it before he could say another word. I strode down the long street and went into the house with my head held high.

"Your soaked."Mom said when I went into the house.

"Like you care!" I snapped and she looked at me like I had just tried to kill her.

"Don't…speak to me that way Susanna." She said, but I continued on up the stairs and into my room. I slammed the door behind me and yanked off my wet clothes. I sat on the edge of my bed in the bra and underwear and sighed, trying to release all my anger. I looked around the room and noticed that something was different. Someone had CLEANED it! I groaned and flopped back on the bed.

There was a knock at the door and for a moment I was going to let them enter. But if it were Papa I would've been mortified. So I grabbed my bathrobe on the back of the door and opened it. Prepared to have a big brawl with my mother I put on my "disgusted" face, but when it was Debbie I sighed and moved out of the way so she could come in.

"I don't know what you said to mom just now but she is sobbing like crazy." Debbie said once the door was closed.

"I don't care." I said sitting at the vanity and bushed out my tangled hair.

"Suse! Come on. Don't be so harsh."

"Debbie if your going to lecture me you can leave." I sighed.

"I'm not…I just feel bad for her."

"That's a first." I said and she nodded like it surprised her too. "Debbie, their taking away my life!" I said, sadness filling my tone.

"Sis…"

"No they are. I love him and they are trying to take him away from me." I said, tears pouring down my face. She looked at me thoughtfully and then sighed. She reached into her pocket and pulled out a white envelope.

"I stole this from the mail pile when Mom asked me to go and get it. I'm not going to do it again, so you better ask him to either stop writing or to address it to somewhere else." She passed me the envelope and smiled down at me. "If it is truly meant to be, love will find a way." I nodded at her and smiled.

"Thanks."

"In exchange for this letter, no more making everyone absolutely miserable. You can be pissed off, but don't start confrontations every time your in the same room." She rolled her eyes, like I had done 7 months ago when she was constantly fighting with our parents everyday. Dave had changed her remarkably. I smiled at her as she left the room and looked at the envelope. One day later and he was writing to me. I shook my head and smiled, as I opened the letter and read his thoughts.

------

When I wrote to Jesse that he couldn't write to the house anymore, because they found out, I had no idea how we were going to stay in contact. I wasn't going to ask Gina to get back in this mess just so she could get in trouble again. I thought about every time I got a moment to myself. But I stopped thinking so much about it when school rolled up.

The first day of school was always the best day. You got to see the friends that you had missed over the summer, you got to have that new semester feeling and writing for the first time in your new notebooks, and your new back to school outfit. I had chosen green this year. It wore a light green dress that had a dark green belt around my waist and had small white polka dots on the fabric. The collar was dark green as well and the buttons were white. I wore a green bow at the top of my head and curled my black hair. This was my favorite back to school outfit so far. I smiled and waved to all the people that I had missed and opened my locker.

"Suse?" A small voice came from behind me. I spun around and saw Maria standing behind me. She was wearing a pink skirt and a white polo shirt and her dark hair was curled and in a pony tail.

"Hi Maria. How was your summer?" I said, smiling brightly. She smiled sweetly back and nodded.

"It was…great." She said with a dazed expression. I smiled at her and she shook her head to bring herself out of her memories. "I um…have something for you." She reached into her pink purse on her arm and pulled out a white envelope. "Paul said that he'll send Jesse's letter to me and wants me to pass them on to you." I looked at the letters in her hands and sighed.

"Thanks so much." I said taking the letters from her. "I really appreciate this. Tell Paul too." I said and she smiled brightly, before she skipped away. I looked down at the letter and sighed. Love will find a way, Debbie had said and she was right.


	28. Day to Day

The school year started in a cheery haze. All the team try outs started and cheerleading try outs and band try outs, the works. Gina and I decided this being our last year we were going to try out for everything. So we tried out for volleyball and soccer. She got on the soccer team, having long legs and amazing leg power, where as I made it onto the volleyball team for my amazing spike and ability to block the net. Both of us made the cheerleading team and joined the year book club. It was going to be an amazing year.

"I MADE IT!" Debbie exclaimed as she burst into the kitchen one day after school. She had been late getting home and Mom was just beginning to worry about her. Papa was sitting at the table writing a letter to his brother and Mom was at the stove starting the dinner. I looked up from my text book and smiled at her.

"Made what?" I asked.

"The band!" She said excitedly. I half smiled at her and then looked down at my book. Everyone knew the band was really…lame.

"That's wonderful dear." Mom said, giving Debbie a hug before turning back to the stove.

"What do you play?" Papa asked, looking up from his letter.

"The trumpet." She said proudly.

"I didn't know you could play." Papa said, eyeing her suspiciously. I glanced at him and then smiled at Debbie. I had caught on long before he had.

"Yes…well…" She blushed. "I learned over the summer."

"You must have practiced often if you're that good." I busted out laughing and buried my face in my book.

"Something funny Susanna?" Mom asked with a harsh tone. We had stopped fighting like I promised, but we still hadn't forgiven each other and we weren't about to start.

"There are a lot of things that are funny." I snapped back.

"Would you like to share?" She placed her hand on her hips.

"Not with you." I picked up my books and scooted past her. She didn't even bother to call my name anymore or call me back down. She had learned fairly quickly that I was not going to listen that easily.

I slammed my door shut and sank onto my bed. I felt bad for Debbie because she was so excited about making the band and the fact that in just one summer, Dave had taught her to play the trumpet well enough was a definite achievement. But I couldn't stand to be in the same room as her longer than 10 minutes. 20 was pushing it.

She had tried to _help_ me forget Jesse by inviting Adam over one day for dinner. She had this brilliant idea that after dinner he could take me to a movie and then out dancing and I would fall madly in love with him, or at least that's the general idea that she told him when he arrived. It didn't go all that well. When I was done eavesdropping I raced back upstairs, threw on my pjs, and took all my make up off. When I went down stairs I clutched my lower stomach and groaned as I filled the kettle. I heard Mom gasp at my appearance.

When I looked up Adam was giving me a worried look, as if my lack of _beauty_ didn't faze him. When he asked me if I was ok, I scowled at him and told him it was just part of being a girl. Mom practically fainted and excused herself, running to the bedroom with embarrassment. When she was out of the room I dropped the act and went back to normal making myself a cup of tea. Adam leaned against the counter and gave me a smug look. I shrugged and then told him he didn't have to stay. He kissed my cheek and then left. I raced upstairs and wrote to Jesse.

------

Two weeks after school started I had the biggest scare of my life. Even the accident wasn't as scary as this. I was at cheerleading practice and it had just ended. Gina had sat out half way through with monthly cramps so it was little difficult to learn our routine with one person short. Practice ended early and I headed out to meet her at the car. She was crunched over in the front seat groaning.

"Come on. It can't be that bad!" I said, teasing. She glared at me and started the car.

"Sorry." I said holding up my hands in retreat.

"What do you not remember what it feels like? I mean aren't you due to get yours any day now?"

"No…I don't think so."

"You're normally two to three days after mine so when it hits I'll ask you the same thing."

"Gina, I've never gotten mine after you. I've always been…before…"I felt my heart drop into my stomach and I thought I would puke it up.

"What? What's wrong?" She asked me, wincing at me.

"I…uh…Just remembered something. I need to go home!" I said, panic filling my voice. She studied me for a second and then peeled out of the parking lot. We were at my house in 10 minutes.

"Are you ok Susie?" She asked me as I flung the door open. I gave her a fake smile and nodded.

"Perfectly! Thanks for the ride." I said and raced into the house. I rushed past Mom who just looked at me and Debbie who was sitting at the table. I ran upstairs and shut the door behind me. I pulled out a little calendar that I kept in my vanity drawer. On it I kept track of my pay days, when things were due at school and secretly marked the days of my period. When I noticed that my last period was the week before Jesse was here, I paled. That was 5 weeks ago. I felt the tears well up in my eyes and I sank to the floor. Oh god!

There was a knock at the door and I jumped. I stared at it, afraid to open it. I didn't move, just sat there. If it was Mom she would go away. Debbie always opened the door after a second and when the door opened I knew it was Debbie. She smiled at me and then her smile dropped when she took in my state. She sat beside me and stared at me.

"What's up Sis?" She said, tucking a hair behind my ear. I looked at her, searching for the right words and then the tears poured down my face. She pulled me into her arms and stroked my back. "What's wrong Susanna?" Without speaking I passed her the calendar and pointed to the red P. She looked at it confused and then looked at the this month. "Oh Jeez!" She said with a sigh.

"I…I don't know what to do." I said, wiping my nose and pulling away from her.

"Well, we have to get you to a doctor." Debbie said. I laughed bitterly.

"Yea ok. In this town, that's impossible." I said.

"Well…is there anyone we could see that wouldn't mention something to someone?" She asked, clearly thinking of every single person that we knew that wouldn't shun us for asking. I shook my head and felt the tears pour down my face.

"Ok…so…we'll just have to go on a shopping trip." She said, smiling at me, clearly trying to reassure me.

"A shopping trip? Debb, did you hear anything I just said?"

"You actually didn't say very much at all. Just implied it." She smiled at her brilliant remark. I shook my head at her. "If we go on a "shopping trip" then we can go and see a doctor in town without everyone knowing." I took in what she said and then smiled at her.

"You are a brilliant, brilliant person. I don't know what I would've done without you." I wiped the tears from my cheeks.

"I know." She stood up and headed for the door with a bounce in her step. She turned back to me and her blue eyes twinkled. "Just remember. You _owe_ me one!" She smiled at me mischievously and the left the room. I shook my head and placed my hand on my stomach. God I hoped that I wasn't pregnant.

-----

It took me a couple of days to regain myself but when it wasn't until I wrote a letter to Jesse and told him about the baby that I was able to go out and make it through, one day at a time. Gina greeted me cheerfully and teased me about getting my period, because that's what she thought it was. I decided at that moment that I would keep this a secret for as long as I could. I couldn't risk the reputation my family would get and I wanted to prolong it for as long as possible. The only person I told was Debbie and Jesse of course.

One rainy Thursday morning I got a letter from Jesse and rushed to the library and opened it.

_Darling Susanna,_

_ I had to read your last letter three times for the words to truly sink in and the letter was only three sentences long. How do we work with this? Well…we get threw this the way any family would get threw something like this. You need to keep this baby. Please don't even think about an abortion. It is too risky and I don't want to lose you or this baby. We really are…a family now. _

_ If things do not go well with your parents, you are welcome at my house. My mother will surely support you and you know she won't stand anyone speaking badly of you. Please know that I wish I was there with you and that I miss you terribly. And even though you may see this baby as a negative at the moment, know that you just gave me even more reason to survive. _

_ All my love, _

_ Jesse_

I folded the letter and cried. I placed my head on my arms and cried for half an hour, completely missing my biology class. When the bell rang I wiped my tears and left the library. Adam caught me in the hall and took in my red puffy eyes. He looked at the letter in my hand and shook his head, before he pulled me into his arms. I tried to hold back the tears, but I couldn't. Having someone hold me like he did made me relax and let all my problems go. He led me to a quiet corner and wiped the tears from my face.

"Susie…"He sighed and kissed my forehead. I snapped back to reality at that moment and inched away from him.

"Sorry Adam, I don't know what came over me." I said wiping my face with embarrassment.

"It's alright Susie. I'm here for you. I just don't know why you put up with his…" I glared at him and he sighed. "Look theirs a big football game this tonight. You should come."

"I don't know Adam. I don't really feel like it."

"It will be fun. We're playing our rivals." Adam said with an encouraging smile. "And we're actually good this season."

"I find that hard to believe." I said with a smile and he chuckled.

"Well you won't truly know until you come and see it for yourself." He said. I watched him for a couple of seconds and then sighed. What harm could come of going to watch the occasional football game. I'd drag Debbie along just so I wasn't alone.

"Alright. Just this once." I said, letting him know that I wasn't about to give up Jesse for him. But no matter how clear I made my intentions he still beamed at me like a child at Christmas time. I shook my head as I walked away from him and headed to my next class. Knowing Jesse was ok with this gave me enough strength to carry on.

Before I knew it I was attending every football game that was played at our school. Not for Adam of course, but because the boys actually were good this year and Papa looked like he had so much fun out there coaching him. Debbie and I would sit in the bleachers and watch him, commenting on his child like love for this game.

The boys were doing very well and before we knew it our tiny little team was top of the state. The game that everyone was looking forward too would be the thanksgiving game. The game that would end the season.

Debbie and I looked forward to the month ahead. There was Halloween and the Halloween dance and then the big thanksgiving game, plus thanksgiving. The way that the school year was headed we knew that thanksgiving would be here and gone before we knew it, which would mean Christmas time.

I wrote to Jesse often but his letters became less and less frequent and he told me in his last letter that he was in the heat of battle constantly. The sound of guns and explosions constantly filling the air. The letter that told me not to worry and that he wouldn't be able to write scared me the most. But I took a deep breath and took each day one step at a time.


	29. Girl's Day Out

Halloween was my favorite time of the year, apart from Christmas. Halloween meant dressing up, candy, the dance and then presents because my birthday was November 1st. As it approached Debbie and I started to decorate the house like we did every year and Mom busied herself with the committee. We hung the bats that we had made out of garbage bags, in the front tree and ripped apart cotton balls to make it look like cobwebs.

At school a buzz started to go around as people started to become more and more excited for the upcoming festivities and the number of days off school that were ahead. I watched the younger boys squirm as the tried to get up the courage to ask their sweetheart to the dance and watched the girls whine and complain about not getting asked, for everyone knew that they couldn't go alone.

One day I was at my locker, grabbing my books when I heard someone behind me cough. I stood up straight and turned around, not expecting Heather to be standing behind me.

"Hello." I said, with a fake smile. She smiled sourly back.

"It's been such a long time Susanna. How have you been?"

"Fine thanks." I said, eyeing her carefully.

"I'm good too thanks for asking." She rolled her eyes and stared down the hall way. "So who are you going to the dance with?"

"I…I don't know. I don't have a date yet." She shook her head and her brow creased like she felt sorry for me.

"Well that's a shame." She said. "I mean, I would've figured that he would've asked you."

"Who would've asked me what?" I said, pretending I didn't know what she was talking about.

"Adam…I was almost sure that he would've asked you. But since he hasn't you don't mind if we go together do you?" She said, twirling a piece of hair around her finger. I watched her for a second and shook my head.

"You know…you're priceless Heather. Really! You should win an Oscar for that." I said closing my locker and walking past her. She stared at me with her mouth hanging open and her gum about to fall out.

"I don't know what you mean." She said chasing after me.

"Sure you do. Coming over here and trying to make me jealous by asking Adam to the dance. It's cute. Really. You can ask him. I have no ties to Adam what so ever." I stopped and turned back to her. "For future reference, you might want to ask someone who actually cares, because then they might actually become jealous of you instead of feeling sorry for you and thinking that you're a stupid, silly, little girl who finds comfort in obnoxious boys who just want to feel you up one night and then ditch you the next." I turned away from her and left her to process what I said. I had no idea why I had gotten so upset, but Debbie had told me that hormones were going to start playing a big part in my life very soon, so this was what I guessed that it was. My first doctor's appointment was next week, on Halloween day, and I would find out everything then.

I walked into my biology class and groaned as I noticed the only seat available was the one beside Adam, which I knew that he had saved for me. I smiled at Gina as I passed her and slid into the desk.

"Hey Susie. You look good today." Adam whispered to me. I smiled at him and nodded my thanks before opening my note book. "So…are you planning on going to the dance?" I clenched my hand to stop myself from exploding on him and took a deep breath.

"No, I don't think so." I snapped. He pondered this and then sighed.

"Well…you should. Let's go together." He said cheerfully. I scowled at him and he flinched and looked away. I sighed and looked ahead, waiting for the lesson to start and noticed Gina, watching me carefully. I frowned at her and she just shrugged, giving me one last look before turning towards the board. She had been weird around me since I had quit cheerleading and would hardly talk to me anymore. It was like she knew, yet she was afraid of it at the same time.

I had quit on the advisement of my "oh so wise" sister, who had been doing a lot of research at the library. She said that sometimes rough activities could jeopardize the baby and could cause me to have a miscarriage. So instead of my cheerleading practices I started going to watch Debbie play in the school band. They would march around the field proudly and playing perfectly. I watched Dave and Debbie together and couldn't help but feeling a pang of jealousy at their luck.

I saw little Maria at the back of the band and she held a small silver instrument. When I asked Debbie what she played Debbie chuckled and said that Maria played the piccolo. Maria was in the band too and this gave me more opportunities to swap notes with her about the boys. She hadn't been getting very many letters from Paul either, but she still got more than I did. I went home that day and sulked before I cried myself to sleep.

The next day Adam tried asking me to the dance. I refused him flatly and he raced away with his tail between his legs. The day after that and the day after that he asked and asked and asked. Until it got to the point where his asking became very annoying and I just gave in. He was so happy that he lifted me off the ground and spun me around. I gasped as he did this and felt my cheeks heat up with embarrassment. He practically skipped down the halls and told almost everyone that he saw that I said "YES".

------

My doctor's appointment had been a scary one. Debbie I had told Mom that we were going into town for a girl's day because I was feeling a little bit down about my…lack of love life, because Mom had no idea that I was still writing and receiving letters from Jesse. Mom and I were still on the outs and she didn't want to start a fight with me so she just nodded her head and turned back to her sowing (She was making our Halloween costumes).

At the doctor's office, we sat in the waiting room and watched the people around us. Some old woman coughed and coughed like her lungs were going to come out of her chest. A small child was asleep on its mothers lap, its face a pale green colour. Debbie seemed more nervous than I did, for her leg was shaking like crazy. Twice I had to tell her to stop shaking or she was going to drive me crazy. When my name was called we both jumped out of our seats and she raced ahead of me into the doctor's office.

"You're Miss. Simon?" The small doctor asked Debbie.

"Yes." Debbie said nervously. "I mean no. Well I am Miss. Simon, but it's my sister who has the appointment." She rambled and the doctor smiled at her, then turned to me.

"Well come and have a seat." She patted the bed and I slipped on to it. The doctor's name was Dr. Davis and she was short woman about, 5 ft with curly brown hair and dark brown eyes. She had a sweet smile and twinkle in her eyes that clamed you slightly. "So, what seems to be the problem Miss. Simon?" She asked me slipping on her glasses and writing on a sheet of paper.

"I…um…well…"

"She's pregnant." Debbie blurted out from the doorway. She had closed the door and stood pressed against it, as if to block out intruders. The doctor smiled at her and then turned to me.

"How long since your last Period?"

"Um…7 weeks…I think. It could be 8 I'm not sure." She nodded and wrote on the sheet.

"Well…just to be sure we'll go and take some blood tests. They will help us tell for certain if you are pregnant or not. If you are, you said you last period was 7/8 weeks ago. When did you have sexual intercourse?" I blanked at her and felt my face redden. I looked at Debbie who was studying her gloves.

"6 weeks ago." I said and she nodded. "The last week of August."

"Ok, well…then you have a good idea of how far along you would be." She said looking at me and when I didn't answer she smiled. "That's about a month and a half." I nodded my head and looked at Debbie. "Come with me and we'll get those tests started. It shouldn't take very long if you would like to wait here." She said to Debbie and Debbie nodded quickly before sitting in a chair by the door.

We walked down the hall to a small bright room with a lot of windows but a lot of white. It was somewhat scary. I sat in the stiff chair and placed my arm on a table beside the chair. Dr. Davis brought a blood kit and set it on the table. She placed a rubber band on my upper arm and then felt around for my vein. Half an hour later she was done taking my blood and told me that I should return in two weeks for my results. TWO WEEKS! That was around the dance. Even though I knew I was pregnant I was still nervous about actually confirming what I knew. My next appointment was for November 1st, my birthday.

------

After my appointment Debbie treated me to some lunch and then we went into the shops. We stopped at a dress shop and she tried on a number of dresses, but my heart just wasn't in it. I couldn't stop thinking about the possible baby growing inside of me. Debbie dragged me from shop to shop and the only thing I bought was a pair of white gloves and a matching white scarf.

We were walking back to the car when we spotted a baby shop. Debbie gave me one look and then smiled.

"Come on." She grabbed my hand and pulled me into the store. I blushed as people looked at us.

"Debbie what are we doing?" I asked and she smiled at me.

"I think we…I mean you should send Jesse a gift." She whispered.

"At a baby store." I said looking around. "I don't even know…for sure."

"Come on Sis, 2 months since…You defiantly are." She smiled at me and started roaming around.

"I can't…" I said, looking at the baby clothes. "It's just too weird."

"Can I help you with something?" An older woman appeared and gave us a fake smile, while she clearly judged us on why we were here. I felt my face heat.

"We're just shopping for our sister. She's having a baby and we're going to throw her a shower." Debbie said with a smile. The lady dropped her fake smile and gave us a real smile.

"Well then, we have some perfect gift ideas." She said.

"We're just going to look around if that's ok. If we have any problems we'll come and find you." Debbie dismissed her and walked away. The woman stared at her with a shocked expression before mumbling something and walking back to the desk. I chuckled as I walked behind Debbie.

"So what do you think we should send? A sleeper?" She held up a pink night gown that you would dress your baby in for bed. I sighed and shook my head.

"I think that might cost me too much. Something we can fit in an envelope." She smiled at me and put the sleeper back onto the shelf.

"Ok…something small." She looked around and drifted away. I looked around at all the things I would…have to buy. I picked up a light blue outfit and imagined myself with a boy that looked just like him. He would grow up to have the same smile and same mannerism and the two of them would be best friends. But then I spotted a pink and white dress with bows on it and imagined myself with a girl and putting bows in her hair, Jesse swinging her around in circles as my father used to do.

"I found something." Debbie appeared at my side. She held up two little booties and smiled. "Their yellow, because we don't know if it is a boy or a girl and their small enough to fit in a letter." I smiled and shook my head.

"Alright let's buy them." When we placed the booties on the counter the lady looked at it and then at is.

"Is that all?" I paused as I was fishing for my wallet.

"Yes it is." Debbie said. I paid for the 2 dollar booties and then slipped them into my purse. "Frankly your store is way to over priced for baby things!" Debbie said and then we left the store. I busted out laughing once we were in safe difference and Debbie chuckled.

"You are one of a kind Sis!" I said flinging my arm around her shoulder. "Thanks for coming with me."

"For you…I'd do anything!" She smiled. "But you know that this means you've got to repay me some day." She smiled at me and shook my head back.

"Just don't get pregnant."

"Well aren't you quite the hypocrite." She rolled her eyes and jumped into the car.

"I just don't think mom could handle us both being pregnant." I said, with a chuckle and we drove home.

------

That night I pulled out the baby booties and sat down to write Jesse a letter.

_ Dear Jesse,_

_ Here's a little present for you. Something that will remind you of us. Wow, us. That sounds so weird. I'm not sure what it is, but I think it's going to be a boy, because boys run high in your family. Although I don't have any brothers so it might be a girl. Only time will tell._

_ I will be honest. I wasn't very excited for this baby and the months ahead I have alone. But when I think about all of the good things that will come once this war is over and you come home, I can endure those hard months. _

_ I miss you terribly and wish you were home now. I haven't heard from your mom, but I will write to her soon and just tell her how I am doing. I don't know if you want me to tell her, so I shall wait for you to decide. _

_ It is difficult to continue on with my school life when I feel like a different girl. Now that I know about the baby I don't feel like I am apart of that life any more. I feel like I should be doing other things, like "setting up house" as Debbie calls it._

_ I love you and always will. Be safe my darling and come home to me soon. _

_ Love always, _

_ Susanna._

_ P.S. These booties were Debbie's idea._

I folded the paper and stuck the booties inside. I placed three stamps on the cover and wrote the address that I had memorized. I kissed it and noticed that my lipstick left a light pink smudge on the outside. I smiled and headed out the door to go and mail the letter.


	30. Halloween

"Sis! We're gonna be late!" Debbie called from outside the bathroom door. I looked my self over in the bathroom mirror and sighed. Mom had made us really good costumes this year. Mom had bought the material at a shop in town and made our dresses by hand. Debbie and I had wanted to go as a pair, meaning that we wanted to match. So mom did her research and came up with two Brilliant Costumes. Debbie and I dressed up for Halloween as Ginger Grant and Mary Ann from Gilligan's Island. Debbie went as Ginger and I went as Mary Ann.

My costume was a red checkered dress. It had a tight bodice and short sleeves. The neckline was a low one that showed off a respectable amount of cleavage. The skirt puffed out and was perfect for twirling, but that's what I thought of all skirts like that I matched the dress with a pair of white tennis shoes. I put my hair into two pony tails and curled the ends into big round curls and topped it off with two red bows. I circled my eyes with dark eyeliner, as Mary Ann would do, and added some mascara and pink lipstick. I rubbed some Vaseline on my lips to give them a shine and I smiled to myself. I looked at my self from a side angle. I ran a hand over my flat stomach and sighed. It would all be the size of a watermelon in a couple of months.

"Susanna!" Debbie whined through the door. I rolled my eyes and opened it. I took in Debbie's costume and smiled.

"You look…FANTASTIC!" I squealed and she laughed at me. Debbie's costume was a bright red dress with white flowers. It was a strapless dress that looked like it had sleeves which had been tied around her breast, as if to hold the dress up, and was cut up at the bottom to give it a ship wrecked style. Mom had found a fake set of pearls for a necklace and earrings and given them to Debbie. She had bright red high heels on and she smiled sweetly.

"Why thank you." She said with a sultry voice that made me laugh. Her hair was curled and hung at her shoulders. She had a bit of eyeliner on and red lipstick. I grabbed my little handbag from my room and skipped downstairs.

Mom was in the kitchen and she was fussing over Debbie's costume. She was pulling the costume down a bit, because she thought it showed too much thigh. But every time she pulled it down it nearly exposed Debbie's breasts.

"Mother!" She rolled her eyes as she pulled the dress up for the 20th time. "I'd rather have my legs show that my chest." She said and pulled away from Mom. Mom sighed and placed her hands on her hips. She turned towards me and stopped when she spotted me. She took in my dress and smiled.

"It looks wonderful." I said and smiled brightly. She smiled too and came towards me. And then, as if something hit her in the face, she stopped. I looked at her shocked and she turned away.

"Well, have fun." She said. My heart sank. For the first time in months I had forgotten about our fight and here she was reminding me all over again. I scowled at her and walked right by without saying another word.

"Ready to go?" Debbie asked in that voice again and I smiled at her.

"Let's go." I said and walked out the door without another word to my mother.

------

We got to the party hall and took in the view in front of us. People had gone to a lot of work to get this place decorated. It had ghosts and bats hanging from the windows and tree branches. There were about 12 carved pumpkins outside the hall and each one had a different design. "Cobwebs" hung from the door way and everything was dark with orange here and there. I smiled at Debbie and she grabbed my hand as we walked inside.

"Hello ladies!" A vampire said as he greeted us and took our jackets. We nodded to him and continued on into the hall. We looked around and people were dancing and talking, some were eating and some were laughing. We looked around for people we knew but this proved to be difficult because of the costumes.

"I think that's Dave over there." Debbie said to me pointing to a man with a black leather jacket on. I nodded as I took in the regular gang. Beside Dave was Brad, who was dressed up as Elvis. He had his arm around Heather who was dressed up as Marilynn Monroe. I rolled my eyes at Debbie and she just shrugged. Jake was beside her and he was dressed up as a mummy, with bits material pretty much covering his face. The only way I knew it was him was by his height and the way he slouched when he stood. Adam had his back towards me, so I was unable to see what he was. "Come on." Debbie said, grabbing my arm and leading me towards the group.

"Hey." She said, surprising Dave with a kiss on the cheek. He looked at her costume and whistled.

"Hello!" He said, his eyes roaming her outfit. He pulled her in and kissed her, catching her off guard and causing her to shriek with embarrassment. I laughed at him and looked at the rest of the group. Heather's jealous expression caught my eye and I scowled at her. When she finally tore her eyes away from Debbie's costume and met my gaze her face dropped and she looked away.

"Hey." Adam whispered in my ear and I smiled up at him.

"What are you supposed to be?" I asked him, with a smile on my face.

"What do you mean? I'm Darren Stevens!" He said looking shocked. When the name didn't register he placed a hand to his heart like I had stabbed him. "You know…from bewitched? The husband?"

"Oh yea." I nodded my head and took in his costume. Now that I thought about it I could see the resemblance. He was in a grey suit with a black and red striped tie. His black hair was slicked back and he had a strong sent of cigar to him. But then again, what older male in these days didn't look like that. To me that was such an uninventive costume. But I smiled any ways and said, "Yes I see it now. Sorry." I pretended to laugh at my stupidity and turned back to the group. Heather was glaring at Debbie again and the rest of the boys looked at her with hungry eyes.

"What _exactly_ are you supposed to be?" Heather spit out. Debbie smiled brightly at her, completely missing her evil jab and answered in a sultry voice.

"Ginger Grant." I chuckled at her and she winked at me.

"Doesn't Ginger have RED hair?" She asked crossing her arms over her chest. Debbie's smile dropped as she realized what her friend was doing.

"You know Heather; I didn't think you'd want to wear white again, considering what happened _the last time_." I snapped. Her face dropped and she went pale.

"What happened the last time?" Brad asked looking from me to Heather. Heather blanked and stared at me with pleading eyes.

"Well you see…Heather had a small-"

"It was nothing!" She screamed. "I just spilt some juice on my dress and had to go home early. But trust me. That's not going to happen tonight!" She said looking my dead in the eyes.

"Why are you knocked up?" Adam asked from beside me and I choked on air. Her eyes flew to Adam with shock and pain at the fact that he would chose my side over hers.

"I…I…Don't know what you mean….Excuse me." She said and slipped off to the bathroom, probably to cry about her broken heart. I tapped Adam on the stomach, as if to scold him and he bent forward.

"What?"

"That wasn't very nice." I said, with a smile on my lips.

"Well…she had it coming." He placed a hand on my arm and looked at me in the eyes, clearly letting me know that he was sticking up for me. I smiled slightly and looked away.

"It is ok that I dressed up like this right?" Debbie said looking at me and then playing with her hair.

"Yes Debbie."

"Even though I don't have red hair?" Her eyes were glossy and I smiled at her.

"You're the best looking ginger I've ever seen!" Dave said.

"Hey don't be speaking ill of us gingers." Gina said, appearing from behind Jake. She was dressed up as Wilma, from the Flintstones and Andy was Barney. I looked at them curiously and smiled.

"Isn't he supposed to be Fred?" I asked and she smiled brightly at me.

"We're the scandalous Flintstones." She gave me a wink and I shook my head. I nodded a greeting to Andy who smiled back.

We got into a deep conversation about the big game coming up when the song that Gina and I had been listening to the day of the crash came on. I smiled and shouted, "I love this song!" and Gina stared at me with a pale, blank expression.

"How can you like this song?" She asked, as I started to sway to the music and sing along.

"Because! It's such a good song!" I said, looking at her like she was crazy.

"But its…it's…." She looked at her hands and I rolled my eyes.

"Gina, come on! It's a song! It's not going to kill us! That was an accident that happened like forever ago! Come on, let's dance." I grabbed her arms and pulled her onto the dance floor.

"Well I'm glad you're so cool about the accident! But I guess I would be too if I was in a _coma!!!__**" **_I rolled my eyes and sighed. I stopped moving and looked at her dead in the face.

"Gina! It wasn't your fault. It was an ACCIDENT! I'm fine…see!" I stepped back and held out my arms to show my entire body. "Now, forget about it and let's have some fun!" When she didn't budged I smiled at her and started singing the words like you would to a stubborn child who didn't want to sing along. "Can't Hurry Love…you'll just have to wait…Come on. Sing along Gi! I know you know the words…No matter how long it takes…" She smiled at me and groaned.

"BUT how many heart aches must I stand…" She joined in and we danced around in circles singing along to the song and forgetting all of our problems. We forgot the accident and the lies we had told our parents. She forgot about all the upcoming practices she would have and I forgot about my baby and for once, we were kids again, without a care in the world.

------

The next day was my birthday and I awoke to breakfast in bed. Debbie sat in front of me with a tray of eggs and bacon, two pieces of toast and a cup of hot tea with milk and sugar. I smiled at her and rubbed my eyes, before sitting up.

"What's this?" I said. She placed the tray on my bed and sat down. She swiped a piece of bacon and I shook my head.

"Mom thought you might like to eat breakfast in bed." My smiled dropped and I could feel my face frown. "She was going to bring it up, but I got to it, before she could." She said reassuring me. I smiled at her and took a bite of a piece of bacon. "So, how do you feel?"

"Tired! My legs are killing!" I sighed, leaning back against my pillow.

"No I mean, being 17! What's it like?" She asked me with wide admiring eyes and I chuckled.

"You make it sound like I just went to the moon! I mean you're more excited over being 17 then me having a baby!" I shook my head. "That's weird Deb!"

"I guess…I just can't wait to be that old!"

"Why?"

"Because…" Her cheeks blushed and I knew she was thinking about Dave. I sighed and looked at my baby sister, seeing for the first time in a while her true age of 14.

"Debbie. Trust me, it's not as fantastic as it seems." She looked at me through her eyelashes. "If he really loves you, he'll wait for you."

"You mean Jesse-"I choked on the bacon.

"No, no… it was totally my idea. But that's the problem. I mean look at me. I had sex once, or twice, and now I'm pregnant!" I said, placing my hand on my stomach, instinctively. Debbie looked at my stomach and closed her eyes.

"When are you going to tell them?" She said reaching over and taking another piece of bacon. I swiped at her hands but she was too quick for me.

"I have no idea!" I looked up at the ceiling and sighed again. "It would be so much easier not to tell them!" Debbie chuckled.

"Good luck with that!" She said jumping off the bed. As she got to the door she stopped abruptly and turned around. "I have something for you." She smiled brightly at me and pulled something from her skirt pocket. It was an envelope. She passed it too me and I smiled up at her. "Mom wants you downstairs in 20 minutes to open your presents…don't take too long!" She grabbed another piece of bacon and skipped out of my room.

I stared at the letter and sighed. I hadn't gotten a letter in so long. I wondered how Debbie had gotten it, but I was that interested to find out at this moment. I ripped open the envelope and pulled out the pages that were neatly folded in half.

_Susanna,_

_ Happy birthday! I really hope this reaches you on your birthday, which it should…but if it doesn't then happy belated birthday. I wish I was there to celebrate it with you, but unfortunately I cannot be there. So I send my love in this letter and my best wishes for the next couple of months that we are apart. _

_ I'm sorry that I haven't written in a while. It is not that I don't want to, but it's just been so rough around here. Rarely do we get a moment to write to our loved ones. We are always scouting the area and if we're not doing that we're catching as much sleep as we can or eating, so finding a free moment can be a little difficult. But our Captain says that we're here for 2 more months and then we're shipped to somewhere safer and others will take our positions. I think the war will be over soon, for we whipped out an entire camp just last week and there was silence for 4 days. Of course others came and now there is what they call the "Rolling Thunder" Constantly in the background. You would think that day after day you get used to the sound, but you don't…it still gives me chills._

_ Listen to me complain about this when its your birthday. How old are you today? 105? Just teasing. I received the…gift that you sent me and I will admit that I knew Debbie had a part to it as soon as I saw them. I'm sorry my dear but you are just not that original. And I mean it in the best way. A couple of the boys hooted when I pulled them out of the envelope and Paul patted me on the back and said…well he basically congratulated me. _

_ I miss you so much Susanna, and I know I tell you that every time I write to you but I do miss you. Sometimes when I am extremely tired and manage to get a couple of hours of sleep I dream of you. But I don't dream of those nights at my house, although I constantly remember them, I dream of that day on the pier. The first day that we met was the best day of my life and I want to thank you for that. When I think of you in your pink uniform with that blue bow in your hair I smile and no that I have something I need to survive for, something waiting for me back at home. But I guess now I have TWO things waiting for me. _

_ I love you a lot and I hope to be home soon, _

_ Love Always,_

_ Jesse_

I read the letter over and laughed, blushed and cried. All these emotions brought on by just a bunch of words. I shook my head and slipped the letter into the envelope. I pushed the tray away and put the letter into the brown box in my vanity. I patted the box lovingly and slipped it back into the desk. Little did I know…that this would be the last addition to the letter box…the last time I would hear from Jesse again.


	31. The BIG Game

A/N: Alright its sadly coming to an end...I dont want it to end for I love him so, but sadly it must happen... Here it is...

* * *

Thanksgiving snuck up on us and before we knew it was game day. As I had predicted the doctor had told me that I was in fact pregnant. She estimated the day of the baby's arrival around May 27th. I was sad, yet hopeful that by that time Jesse would be home to be there with me. It wasnt before long that my attention was diverted from the baby and Jesse and to the BIG GAME. The boys were nervous, some threw up and some just stood around with pale faces looking like they were going to throw up. The bus from our rival school pulled into the parking lot and everyone rushed to the classroom windows to check out the competition. The boys from St. Lucien's were huge, meaning extremely tall, round and tough looking. Even I felt intimidated and I wouldn't get as close to them as our boys would. The school day passed in a slow blurr and all anyone could think about was how badly the boys were going to get creamed by this team. The school bell rang and everyone raced to their cars, to get home and change. The game started at 7:00 so we had some time to eat and change into warmer clothing.

Dad was going to stay with the team the whole night and give them words of encouragement and have one last warm up before the game started. We could tell that he was extremely nervous too by his lack of sleep and his loss of appitite. Debbie was waiting at our car, which Mom had said we could drive just for today. When I reached her a big group of St. Lucien boys walked by.

"Hi ladies." A tall blonde boy said. He had piercing blue eyes and a slight tan to his skin. Debbie smiled slightly and I nodded my head, not wanting to betray my team.

"Susanna?" A familiar voice said from behind the boys. I looked up from the keys in my hands and smiled when I spotted Tad Beaumont.

"Hi!" I said walking towards him. He opened his arms and I hugged him. "How are you?"

"Nervous as hell!" He said and I chuckled.

"Dude! We don't tell the competition that we're nervous because then they'll think that they can beat us." The shortest one said. He was a brunette and had dark brown eyes.

"Don't worry. I'll keep your secret. But just this once." I rolled my eyes playfully and Tad chuckled.

"I guess we're even then." He said giving me a wink and I blushed. I nodded to agree with him. "So what are you doing after the game?"

"Well you know…the usual. Go to Di's diner for a milk shake and depending on the way the game ends there might be a party and their might not be. So I'm just waiting for that." I looked up at him and he smiled brightly.

"Well, we should meet up after the game." He said.

"Do you think that's wise?" I said with laughter in my voice. His blue eyes sparkled with mischief and I shook my head. "Alright, well I'll see you after the game."

"Ok." He said and then walked away, giving Debbie a small wave. She smiled at him and then turned to me. But she didn't say anything until we got in the car.

"What was that?!" She said with wide eyes.

"You know Tad, Debbie! Everyone knows who Tad is." I rolled my eyes and started the car.

"Yes, but I didn't think you knew him…THAT well." I chuckled and rolled my eyes.

"We're friends." I said.

"How did you become blessed with that aquantance?"

"I…Well…oh hell. He caught me smoking in the summer, at the formal."

"You were smoking?" Debbie said with a amused expression.

"I was stressed!"

"So that's why your buddies? Because he caught you smoking?"

"Well…he caught me kissing…someone too."

"Adam! It was Adam wasn't it?" Debbie let out a shrill laugh.

"Don't make fun!" I whined, but I laughed too.

"So, you…kissed Adam, smoked with Tad and got pregnant with Jesse. Quite a rebel these days there Sis." She laughed. I would've laughed too, but when she said it I realized how this past summer had gone. Before this summer I would never have done anything so foolish as smoking and never even thought about coming close to having SEX! Now I was a pregnant teen who had done all these horrible things! I groaned inwardly and scolded myself all the way home.

-------

The stadium was packed by 6:30 and when I showed up at 10 too, it was difficult to find a seat. Luckily Andy had thought of me and grabbed us front row seats. I scooted along the row, apologizing to people behind me, carrying a small bag.I had packed a blanket and a thermos of hot chocolate, so we wouldn't freeze to death out here. I greeted Andy, like always, and then sat beside him. I reached into the bag and pulled out the red woolen blanket and spred it over our laps. I tightened my white scarf around my neck as a cold breeze from the lake hit my face.

"Jesus, its freezing." Andy said.

"It's supposed to snow." I said.

"Oh joy!" He said sarcastically.

"I love the snow." I argued. The cheerleaders came out onto the pitch and started their routeins. Gina was there, her red hair in a pony tail. Her cheerleader uniform was one piece, with long sleeves and a tight bodice, but the skirt only reached her thighs, which made it scandalous. I shook my head as I heard the murmur from the older folk and only cheered louder for her. Andy followed my lead. When Gina was tossed into the air, doing a set of splits and then caught again, we stood up and cheered really loud for her.

They did a serious of other tiny cheers, but nothing that spectacular. I could feel my fingers getting cold through my white woolen gloves and blue hot air into them. I decided this was a good time for some hot chocolate and passed a cup to Andy. Andy gratefully taking the hot cup, for he had forgotten gloves and a scarf.

The lights were on in the stadium which made the game that much more intense. A trumpet sang and the marching band came out to the stadium. They wore dark blue jackets, with matching pants and golden buttons. They had blue hats with golden feathers that fluffed when they moved. The band came out onto the field and marched around singing the opening songs. I cheered when I spotted Debbie and Andy did as well. They were really good, so good that I got goosebumps.

When they finished Dad walked into the middle of the stadium and held a microphone to his lips. The crowd went silent and Dad cleared his throat. He looked over the crowd and spotted me. He looked away quickly.

"Folks, would you bow your head for a list of local…Vietnam Dead." I bowed my head and felt the pity for all the people that had lost their sons and loved ones. "From the state of New York…" Dad started listing off names of boys. Some old, some young. Names flew like crazy.

"Maj. Paul Slater." I looked at Dad and he just kept reading. Did I just hear that right? Paul? Like Maria's Paul?"

"You ok?" Andy whispered to me.

"Yea."

"Someone you knew?" He said, looking at me with pity.

"Yes." I sighed and shook my head.

"From the state of Maryland…" Dad paused, for dramatic affect. And then said three words I never ever EVER wanted to hear.

"Maj. Hector De Silva." My heart stopped at that moment and felt the world fade away. I stared at my father as he continued on reading the names. It was as if no one had heard that MY Jesse was on that list! Jesse! He couldn't be. I couldn't believe it. Surley I would have gotten a letter in the mail…

I saw Dad leave the stage and the crowd erupted when the boys came out onto the stage. My heart filled with rage. I stood up and pushed past people, leaving everything with Andy. I raced down the stairs and out of the stadium. It wasn't until I was alone that I felt the tears well up. I took a deep breath and placed my hands on my hips feeling the cool air on my skin and willing myself not to cry.

I heard a sniffling from behind me and spun around. I could see no one, because of the darkness, but I could hear them crying.

"Hello?" I called and the girl sobbed harder. I inched closer and closer. My eyes adjusted to the darkness and I took in Maria's small frame. "Oh Maria!" I said and bent down to where she sat, curled up under the bleachers.

"He's dead! I…I…"She sobbed and I pulled her into my arms and rested my head on hers. Both of us had felt the same pain. The two of us were exactly the same. The girls who had loved ones in the war and were told of death by a list. Nothing personal or romantic about it.

"Susanna?" I heard someone call for me and I lifted my head. I didn't want to be seen, or have people talk to me right now. But when I spotted Debbie I called to her. She rushed over and took in Maria in my arms. She gave me a look, that was filled with pity and there were tears in her eyes. I shook my head, telling her not to cry. "Maria, honey. It's ok." She said rubbing her arms.

"ITS OK! How is it ok? HE'S DEAD DEBBIE! DEAD!" She shook her head and paled. Her stomach grumbled and she stood up and raced to a garbage can, leaving me and Debbie alone.

"Sis, I'm sooo sorry." She said. I shook my head and turned away.

"We need to help Maria." I said and stood up. "Come on Maria. I'll drive you home." I wrapped an arm around her and helped her to the car.

"Do you want me to come with you?" She asked.

"No, Debb, I'm fine. I just need to go home. You go and…watch the game." I sighed and slid into the car. Debbie backed away as I started the car. I looked over to Maria and shook my head. We were the same, only what she was doing on the outside, I was doing on the inside.

------

I didn't sleep for two weeks. Everytime I got tired enough to sleep I would invision him and force myself awake. I didn't cry either. Mom thought it was weird how I didn't cry and came to my room constantly to check on me. Although I could tell that she was happy that he was gone, I knew she cared a little for my sake. I went to work as I normally did, and I went to school, but rarely did I pay attention.

I started at least 100 letters to Ella. Some were telling her that Jesse died, but of course she already knew that. Some were asking why it happened to them? But she wouldn't have an answer. Some letters she wrote asking if she could come and visit. But who wants a reminder of the last time they saw their son. Each letter ended up crumpled and in the trash can.

One day, December 5th to be exact, I received a letter. Mom came to my room and opened the door. She slipped the letter on the table and looked at me. I picked it up and looked at the back. When it said, Ella De Silva my heart broke. I felt tears in my eyes for the first time in two weeks.

"Who is that?"

"His mother." Mom nodded her head thoughtfully.

"Do you…need anything?" She asked. I shook my head and stared at the envelope. I heard the door click and then opened the letter.

_Susanna,_

_I have terrible news for you. But you might already know. In case you don't I thought I should write to you and tell you. My son, Jesse, he's __gone. I'm so sorry that you have to hear it this way Susanna. I would very much like to see you, but of course I understand if it will be too hard for you to come and visit us. _

_His…He will be home on the 3rd of December and the funeral is set for the 6__th__. I'm so sorry Susanna. I don't know any words of comfort that I can give to you, except that you should know you are always welcome here. We see you as our daughter, whether you married our son or not. Please come and visit us soon._

_Love always,_

_Ella._

I stared at the letter. She was telling me how sorry she was. She was amazing! I couldn't imagine feeling sorry for anyone but myself when my died. I placed a hand on my stomach protectively. I looked at the letter again. It might make this situation a little bit better if she knew that she had some part of Jesse lived on. At that moment I decided that I was going to go and visit Ella.

I pulled out a piece of paper and wrote to her telling how much her letter meant to me and how I would be there to help in any way that I could. I looked at the envelope with fresh ink on it and sighed. I was going back to the only place that had Jesse in it, the only place where I felt like I truly belonged. I was going Home.


	32. Memories in the Attic

"But what happened after that?" Her big green eyes stared back at me with concern and wonder. "I mean there's so much that must've happened since then?" I chuckled at her and held up my hand before she could say another word.

"Well…a lot of things happened since then dear. Life goes on and you just have to learn to move with it." I sighed and placed my hands in my lap. She bit her bottom lip to restrain herself from asking more. I smiled at the girl of 16 and shook my head. "Alright I'll tell you." Her eyes flickered with happiness and excitement. I shook my head and sighed.

"I told my mother that I was going to the funeral. She had and I got into a very large screaming match, which ended with me packing everything I owned and marching out the door. I didn't talk to my mother for three years after that."

"But what about-"

"Patience." I shook my head. "I got on the next bus and went all the way out to Maryland. I can still remember walking down the familiar road, and feeling my heart break all over again. And when I saw the house again, my heart shattered into a million pieces. It was so hard for me that I had to sit down and catch my breath. After about 10 minutes of sitting on the frozen grass I continued on down the hill and was met by Alano. He barked and licked my hands and face as he had done the last time I had come. I remember looking up at the house and seeing Ella rush towards me with open arms and tears streaming down her face. She helped me with my bags as I told her what had happened and put me up in Jesse's room."

"Did you tell her about the baby?" She asked, anxiously biting her nails.

"In time I did, but I decided that I should wait until after the funeral. And what a funeral it was. People from all over came to Jesse's funeral. There were pipers and soldiers and flags and…it was breathtaking how many people cared about him. I remember them folding up his flag and then handing it to Ella. She held it tight to her chest and watched as they lowered her son into the ground. Later that night after everyone had come home, she came to my room and knocked on my door." I sighed and sat back in the chair as the scene replayed itself perfectly in my head. Her white night gown touching the floor and her long brown hair flowing around her shoulders. She looked at me with tired, red eyes, yet still smiled at me. "She brought me this." I said and reached into my old trunk. I pulled out the still folded American flag that was on top of Jesse's casket and handed it to her. She blew the dust off and caused us both to cough.

"Wow." She said as she felt the material in her fingers, marveled at the history and meaning one piece of material could have. "That's…so cool." I chuckled.

"It wasn't at the time." I said, taking a deep breath.

"Is that when you told her?"

"Yes. I asked her to sit with me for a second and then I told her. At first she didn't do anything, just stared at her hands. Then when I started to panic she looked at me with tears in her eyes. I remember apologizing over and over again, thinking she would toss me out at that very moment. But she grabbed my hands, held them tight and thanked me."

"She thanked you?"

"I know I was shocked as well. But she said that, she had lost her son and everything went with him when he died. Knowing that she still had a little piece of him would help her to move on and look towards the future, instead of dwelling on the past." She nodded her head with understanding and studied the sheet again. Then she reached into the trunk and pulled out a tiny pair of yellow knitted booties.

"Did she make these?" She asked. She studied them and I knew she would see it. "Why's there a-"

"Hole?" She nodded. "Those were the booties I gave him, remember?" She nodded her head, her eyes wide. "He had kept them in his shirt, as if to keep us close to him. The hole is from a bullet that struck him. When they were cleaning his body they found them and put them away with the rest of his safe keepings.

"Are your letters to him in here?" She asked searching through the trunk.

"No, they got lost among the years." She sulked for a second and then studied the booties again.

"So, what happened after you told Ella?" She asked, wanting to get back on track. I smiled fondly at the child and continued on.

"Well, she offered me a place at their house and I of course accepted it. I started to work on the farm with them, but the winter was approaching fast so I was more house bound than yard bound. Julio hired a boy from down the road to help him and the four of us worked together to manage the house. When the spring came Ella opened up the locked bedroom at the end of the hall, for the first time since Theresa died. She gave the room to me as a present for the baby and said that when it was born we could decorate it any way we would like. Then we sat around and cried as we went through all of Ella's memories of her baby girl."

"That's so sad."

"It was, but it also brought us closer. Anyways, we didn't have to change the room very much because Meghan Ella-Marie Simon was born that May and the room was pink to begin with."

"Why did you call her that?"

"Well, I loved the name Meghan, since I was a little girl I had always wanted to be called Meghan. The names Ella and Marie were after my mother and his mother. I would have used Maureen, but I just thought it sounded funny so I used my mother's middle name and came up with Ella-Marie." She nodded with understanding and looked threw the box again. There were baby clothes from when she was tiny and a picture of her and I. She was a small baby, with jet black hair and blue eyes.

"When did you go back home?" She asked, pulling me from my memories of my oldest child.

"Well, I didn't completely go back home, but the first time I went to visit I was when she was bout 2 years old. It was Ella's idea and I was a little nervous about it, but I knew I had a place to go if my mother shut me out and Debbie was dying to see her. We talked frequently on the phone. Anyways, I packed a case for the two of us and we headed back home to see my mother. I had called and told Debbie to give them some warning to our visit. When we pulled up in the taxi Debbie rushed out the door and threw herself at me. Papa came out and smiled brightly; I remember there were tears in his eyes. But it was Mom that I was most afraid of. She stood at the door and just watched us. Papa told me to go inside and he would get our bags and I was terrified. I remember shaking as I walked up the steps to the front door. But when I got there, she wasn't angry or hurt, or embarrassed. She was sad. Sad that I hadn't told her about the baby that she had missed being there for me that we had fallen out and hadn't talked to each other. She touched my cheek lightly and smiled at me, trying to fight the tears.

I remember Meg saying "Hello" in her little voice and that broke my mother. She cried and laughed and kissed us over and over again. "She looks just like you." She had told me and I can still hear it in my head."

"So she was fine with you having a baby?"

"Well by this point I was 19 turning 20 and by then she had been married and expecting her own baby. So she never thought about it for too long."

"How long did you stay for?"

"About a week and then I went back. We visited every now and again, at least once a month, but we never stayed for very long."

"When did you meet up with grandpa?"

"On my first visit back, I had been at the corner store, leafing through a Life magazine, thinking that I should bring it back to Ella….

_Flashback_

_I felt a tap on my shoulder and I turned around to see who it was. The face that I met was one that had changed a lot since I had last seen him. His eyes were still the same dark colour and his face was still the same playful mischievous face, but he had added a mustache to his face and his hair was combed back neatly. _

_ "I thought that it was you." He said with a sincere smile on his face. I shook my head and smiled._

_ "Well, well…Adam Anderson." I held out my arms and he hugged me tight. "It's so good to see you." _

_ "You too. I've missed you." He said and I smiled. It felt good to be missed by some one other than your family._

_ "How have you been?" I said, looking into his eyes. He shrugged and looked at his shoes._

_ "I did something stupid Susie." _

_ "What?" I said, with a smile on my lips._

_ "I joined the army." As the words left his lips my heart sank and I felt that stab of pain._

_ "Oh Adam…" I shook my head._

_ "I know stupid eh? But I didn't even last there very long." He said with a smirk._

_ "What?" I said._

_ "I went already. But I got the million dollar wound. Shot in the ass." He said with a shake of his head at his own embarrassment. I smirked at this._

_ "Are you going to be shipped back?" _

_ "No, as long as I keep low key. People are recruiting like crazy so they shouldn't need me." I placed my hand on his arm and smiled._

_ "That's good." He looked at my hand and then studied my face. _

_ "Oh mommy…Some bodies getting cranky." Debbie said coming up behind Adam. "Oh sorry." She said when we turned to her. Meg was wearing a light blue dress with lace on the bottom and a white bow around the waist that mother had bought for her. She had a blue bow clipped in her thick hair and a white soother in her mouth. Adam took in Meg in Debbie's arms and stared at her. Meg reached her arms out to me and I took her from Debbie. I swallowed nervously. _

_ "You have a…so she's…uh yours?" He asked._

_ "Obviously. She looks just like Suse." Debbie rolled her eyes as she walked by us and up to cash register to pay for what we needed. _

_ "I didn't know you…"_

_ "I didn't tell anyone. Not even my mother." I said, my cheeks heating. I held Meg tighter to my chest and avoided his eyes._

_ "She's beautiful." He said, causing me to look up at him with curiosity. He reached out gently and touched the baby's cheek. Meg smiled brightly at him and held out her arms to him. He smiled at her and took her into his arms. I took the soother from her mouth and watched the two of them together. He studied her face as intently as she studied his. She placed on hand on his cheek and felt his face. She started mumbling something to him in baby language and he smiled and turned to me._

_ "She really is just like you, cant understand a thing she says." He chuckled and handed her back to me._

_ "That's because her vocabulary is too high for you." I said with a laugh. I turned towards the exit, where Debbie was standing. _

_ "I would like to see…I would like to visit you sometime Susie." He said. I turned back to him and stared at him. Maybe he had changed. Maybe he was a different Adam from the Adam he had been before. I mean Meg liked him so what could I lose?_

_ "I'll call on you next time I visit." I said with a slight smile and he beamed at me._

_ "Ok, great." He said and I waved goodbye._

_End Flashback_

"So that's how you started dating? You'd just go and visit him now and again?"

"In the beginning yes, but after a while he would come out to Maryland and visit us. He would come once a month and then it turned out to be at least once a week."

"When did he ask you to marry him?"

"When Meg turned 4. It was her birthday party and everyone was over for the weekend. He helped me tuck her in and then asked me, right in the hallway." She pulled out the wedding photo album and flipped through the pictures.

"Do you love him?" She asked me and I looked at her. She was more intuitive than I had thought.

"I do." I said.

"As much as you loved Jesse?"

"No…" I whispered and knew that she heard me. "But I love him in a different way. I love him as my husband and the father of my children. He's my friend and provider. That's a different kind of love than what I had for Jesse."

"Do you think he was your soul mate?" She asked me, looking up through her eyelashes.

"I think your grandfather was my soul mate." I said with a wink and she smiled brightly back at me. She opened her mouth to say something but was cut off.

"Jess? Jessie? Are you up there?" Jessica looked at me with wide eyes and she tossed everything back into the trunk.

"We're up here dear." I said and heard footsteps on the attic stairs.

"What are you doing?" Meg's voice came from the stairwell before we saw her. When she emerged she had rosy cheeks from climbing the steps and held her round stomach as if to protect it. Her dark blue maternity top was stretched over her 8 month pregnant belly and her black hair was short and curled around her face. Her blue eyes twinkled like they always did and her perfect smile came on her face. I smiled at her, as did Jessica and she looked at us curiously. "What's going on up here?"

"Just going through old trunks." I said, patting the lid and Meg nodded with understanding.

"She gave you the history lesson eh?" Meg said, kissing her daughters dark black hair. Jessica nodded her head once and smiled at me.

"I thought she was old enough now." I said with a sigh. "And besides we'll need someone to tell the story to that little one." Both girls looked at me with horrified faces. I let our a chuckle and shook my head. "You never know what I'll be like in the next 16 years. I might not even know my own name." I said with a shrug and then laughed when they still stared at me horrified. "Relax. I was making a joke."

"Not funny mother!" Meg said and kissed my cheek. "Well kid, we better go and eat or else grandpa will eat the entire turkey." She said with a chuckle, brushing back her daughter's hair. She smiled brightly at her mother and kissed me.

"Thanks for telling me Granny." She said, before bouncing down the stairs. Meg went to follow her but turned back to me when I didn't move.

"What's wrong?" She asked me. I smiled at her and shook my head.

"Nothing. I'll be down in a sec." She smiled at me and then waddled down the stairs.

I turned back to the trunk and picked up something that I thought had been lost, that at the time I had worried about for the longest time. The small pair of pink underwear were folded at the bottom of my trunk, hidden under a series of things. I pulled them out and held them in my hands.

I had found them the day before my wedding. I had climbed up the ladder and climbed into the bed. I had lay back on the pillow and closed my eyes. Remembering the night my life had completely changed. I rolled onto my stomach and breathed in the sent of the pillow, wishing I could smell him just one last time. I felt something under the pillow and lifted the pillow to check.

When I saw them, neatly folded I felt tears in my eyes and a chuckle in my throat. He had kept them, which was kinda weird, but kinda sweet at the same time. I remember tucking them into my pants pocket and heading back down the ladder knowing that Jesse would want me to move on and would wait for me when we were meant to be together.

I placed them back into trunk and closed it as I heard footsteps on the stairs. A grey head appeared, followed by a pair of dark eyes and a grey mustache. I smiled at him from the floor and he smiled back.

"What are you doing?" he asked me, leaning against the railing.

"Just going over old memories." I said, looking at the trunk. He looked at me curiously and then held out his hand to me. I grabbed it and stood up.

"I love you, you know that right?" I said to him and he smiled at me.

"I love you too."He said wrapping me in a tight hug and kissing my forehead. He held me for a moment longer and then sighed. "Come on, the boys are here with their kids." I sighed and headed down the stair after him. I closed my memories in the attic and saved them for another rainy day.


End file.
